12/16/2025
đź’šFinding beauty in a hard yearđź’š
My heart showed up for me in ways that surprised me this year. It kept beating, feeling, living, despite the challenging and awful days. I wonder sometimes if the heart that was given to me at birth already knew what the future held for it. I wonder if the heart I was given at birth understood the assignments laid out across the span of the life it was about to live. I wonder if the heart I was given at birth was already at full capacity with the love it would experience over the course of its lifetime.
I wonder if our hearts know, at birth, what is ahead, or even now, if it would still be able to show up, to feel, to continue loving despite the waves of emotions, ups and downs, coming towards it and flowing through it. Would our hearts be up for the challenge, knowing the full depth and range of joy, happiness, love, sadness, contempt or resentment (just a few of the many emotions!) that would fill our days?
My heart did some heavy lifting this year. At one point, shortly after Lilo died, I felt so numb that I couldn’t really feel anything in my physical body. Where was my heart during all of this pain? Was it sheltering in place to avoid furthur damage? Was it working overtime to keep the simplest functions moving… keeping my blood flowing, keeping me focused on the tasks at hand? Chop wood, carry water was my mantra for months. "Chop wood, carry water" is a Zen proverb meaning that life's essential, mundane tasks remain the same even after spiritual awakening; the difference lies in performing them mindfully, with presence, and without attachment, finding enlightenment in the ordinary rather than escaping it. I am not sure I would categorize losing my beloved Gracie and Lilo as a spiritual awakening, but I knew that performing mundane and simple tasks helped me to stay on track with myself and what I was living through.
Despite the grief of losing loved ones this year, their is a lingering sweetness where they once were. The initiation of loss and how it expands the heart is a subtle and yet important shift in the way I am now showing up in the world. Every morning I ask God, the Universe, my angels and guides and especially Buddy, Gracie and Lilo, to use me and my light and the love in my heart to do the work I have been asked to do. I see every opportunity “out in the real world” to be a kind and gentle presence, to help where needed, to show up and be aware and aligned with my higher calling. I understand that I need to be out in the real world and not sitting in my kitchen to make a difference. I understand that the heart I was born with was chosen to carry this mission of love. The time, energy and effort is worth it. It all matters.
Compassion for others in a divine gift. It is a divine gift to give ourselves compassion too. We are continually learning, being tested and educated on how the workings of the heart impact our peace of mind, our true essence and our capacity to live with the fullest amount of love available to us. Unfortunately loss and grief can bring our heart’s experiences to the surface where we begin to examine its contents.
What’s in your heart today, the one you were given at birth? How is your heart living and connecting with others, out in the real world?
With love and light, and a beautiful holiday season to each of you,
M
