11/23/2025
I noticed that Penny’s sundowning always began when I started cooking dinner.
The minute the pots went on, she would start pacing up and down, touching things, checking the same spots over and over again. And if she wasn’t pacing, she’d stand at the sink and start washing the same cup two or three times. It was her body slipping back into old evening routines.
So I changed my routine.
I’d start cooking quietly, and then give her something simple to do at the sink like rinsing a cup, washing a plate or wiping a spoon. It grounded her. It gave her a job her brain recognised.
Once she settled into that rhythm, I’d say, “Penny, it’s time for your shower.”
She’d go calmly, because she now understood the sequence:
Sink job then Shower , Food and Rest.
This tiny change made our evenings gentler. She relaxed and the pacing softened because she
knew what was coming next.
It taught me something important: sundowning often isn’t agitation… it’s old routines waking up.
If you find the pattern, sometimes you can guide the evening instead of fighting it.
Sundowning isn’t chaos.
It’s memory stored in the muscles.
Once you understand the pattern, you can shape the evening so it feels safe again.
What evening patterns have you spotted in your loved one?
