Other Side of Awful

11/18/2025

" Silence may feel safe, but it often imprisons us. Speaking-however imperfectly-is an act of courage and freedom.

Even if your voice trembles, the act of speaking can shift the ground under your feet. It can remind you that you are not powerless, that you still have agency. Your truth deserves air."
-Susie Spencer

Today's other side of awful daily support but it's hard to find hope in the darkness. Your voice matters. You're not alone.

Check out the other side of awful free daily app. Download it now. Link in BIO

11/17/2025

🔥Sharing today's post from the Other Side of Awful app. Hope it helps you too! Download the free app now. Link in bio🔥

11/09/2025

Decided to go to a Trey’s Law luncheon tomorrow in Dallas. Can't wait to hear about the next steps for national legislation on helping sexual assault survivors after the work done in Texas and Missouri!

Drove up tonight and I am having so much fun! My kids made me a snack box for the trip and a playlist. And I stopped at Whiskey Cake Kitchen & Bar in Irving, Texas. Got the charcuterie and candy bacon!

Road trip to remember!

11/08/2025

11/06/2025

Many of the daily affirmations comes from my book, HAPPY ARE THE HOPELESS. Here's an excerpt that I wrote when I was blogging about having just became adoptive parents to our two kiddos. (I mentioned them in a previous post about going to the animal shelter.) The toddler days are over in house but I still remember.😍

Check out more from the Other Side of Awful and download the free app now!

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Observations on Parenting in Toddler Nation

😜Being a mom is…sweaty. Especially, when you have to carseat buckle then immediately unbuckle two five-point harnessed children because one of said children now has to p*e really, really bad even though they just went.

🫠Run amok is not just a passive phrase found in the dictionary. It is an action verb in our house. Parenting means you spend a lot of time leaning down with your bum in the air convincing a 4-year-old future lawyer to see things your way.


- #1 question asked by toddlers of all ages in our house: “Why?”

- #1 question asked by adults of all ages in our house: “Do you have to go poop?”

-Sun Tzu Art of War is oddly applicable.

😧Boogers abound.
In fact, one day, last week I passed a Kleenex to a kiddo with an insanely big bo**er. She wiped, passed me the tissue back and there was nothing on it. I have no idea where that bo**er went. I’m pretty sure it’s still lurking somewhere in my car, waiting to jump out and attack.


-All 4 Spiderman puzzles look alike when mixed together by an enterprising 3-year-old.

-Kisses to booboos are potent and powerful.

🥰I love being called Mom.
The word Mom has about a hundred different variations depending on how each child is feeling and the current situation. I’m learning every nuance of my new name. Especially, when it’s said about a hundred times right before bed as they come up with creative, inventive reasons not to go to sleep.

🥰Sean loves being called Dad.
His title has been hard won since these sweet babies are not as used to having a dad around. I could not live in Toddler Nation without my husband. He has a different approach to parenting but I really respect him and his ways. Together both our methods work. Although, one Saturday he did suggest the kids take their “quiet time” out on the couch instead of in their room and I swear I levitated off the floor and my head spun around as I whisper-argued against it in a bid for the adults to finally get some “quiet time” of our own.🥴

-Tiny hands give the best hugs.

-Tiny feet give the hardest kicks.

Parenting is a work in progress. I keep thinking we’ve mastered it and then I open my eyes and a new day starts with more challenges, lessons to learn…and bo**ers…lots of bo**ers.

-Susie Spencer

check out the Other Side of Awful and download the free app now!

https://othersideofawful.glide.page

11/05/2025

What's some of the ways you're recovering after trauma?

Here's 2 things I've done to help me 👇

1️⃣. Acknowledge the injury:

Our muscles hold memories. For me, as a kid, I was never allowed to acknowledge that I was injured. No adults ever acknowledged the injuries either. They were too busy trying to minimize what they were doing so they could keep it going, keep it secret.

2️⃣. Create a safe place in my home where I can go when I have flashbacks.

As a kid, I used to hide in my closet to escape the monster. So now, if I need to I'll still sit in my closet to decompress and process the memory.

Follow, like, share for more and check out the Other Side of Awful my new app for Surviving some of the worst life has to throw at you.

https://othersideofawful.glide.page

11/05/2025

The Will of Abuse: The Linear Life of Peaks and Valleys
By Susie Spencer

(from the Other Side of Awful series)

When I talk about the Other Side of Awful, I’m usually talking to survivors — the ones who have lived through the fire and found a way to stand again.
But there’s another side to awful.
The one abusers live on.
And the truth is — it’s not circular like healing. It’s linear.
They don’t grow.
They repeat.
________________________________________

The Linear Life

For survivors, recovery often feels like a spiral — messy, layered, and somehow always returning to deeper understanding.
For abusers, it’s a straight line: a string of peaks and valleys.
The peak is the control. The moment everything bends their way — when the illusion of power feels whole again.
The valley comes when truth creeps in: when people leave, when lies unravel, when silence no longer works.
But instead of sitting in the valley and doing the work — they start over.
New relationship.
New story.
New mask.
Different audience, same script.
And because the pattern feels familiar, it feels like progress.
But it’s not healing — it’s recycling.
________________________________________
The Will of Abuse
The will of abuse isn’t just about what someone does to another person.
It’s a structure.
A system of repetition fueled by ego, fear, and denial.
It’s the endless push to stay powerful, even if it means staying broken.
It’s how they avoid accountability by calling control “love,” and manipulation “protection.”
It’s how they convince themselves that chaos is chemistry — that if someone still reacts, it means they still matter.
But the truth?
That “will” keeps them stuck on a treadmill of their own making.
They don’t evolve — they orbit themselves.
________________________________________
What This Means for Survivors
When you understand that pattern, everything changes.
You stop waiting for them to become who they pretended to be.
You stop thinking your boundaries caused their downfall.
You stop believing the peak means they’ve changed.
Because they haven’t.
They’ve just reset.
________________________________________

On the Other Side of Awful
If you’ve been caught in someone else’s line — always pulled back to the start — I built the Other Side of Awful app to help you chart your own pattern.
It’s where you can track your healing in real time:
your triggers, your red flags, your progress, and your peace.
You don’t have to live in their linear line anymore.
You can build your own spiral — upward, inward, and free.

✨ Download the (free) app now: https://othersideofawful.glide.page/

and

💌 Subscribe for weekly reflections like this: https://substack.com/

11/05/2025

I used to forget to breathe. Like, literally hold my breath while answering emails or replaying conversations that didn’t go my way.

💭 Reflection
Breathing again is the body’s way of saying, “We’re safe now.” Healing isn’t about never feeling fear — it’s about teaching your body peace after chaos.

🔥 From the App
In The Other Side of Awful app, the Affirmation section includes grounding techniques and one-line mantras from my books like:

> “Inhale grace. Exhale guilt.”
“You are not in danger just because you remember it.”

✨ Spark
When the world feels too heavy — start with one breath.
— Susie

11/04/2025

This is the type of stories I write for the Other Side of Awful, the daily affirmation app I created to help Find Hope on Dark Days. It's based on my life and all the books, journals, and therapy notes I've written to recover from trauma. The Other Side of Awful app (free!) can be downloaded here:
https://othersideofawful.glide.page

The Gospel According to Dogs

Introduction: The Dog Who Stayed

I used to think God only lived inside churches — the kind that smelled like musty old carpet and control. I was taught that holiness required distance, that love had conditions, and that God’s patience ran out faster than my own breath when I tried to believe.

But then there was a dog.

(A couple of them, actually…but for this story, I am going to focus on Jelly Bean, one of our pound puppies. My husband, Sean, and I adopted Jelly Bean and Peanut Butter, her littermate, seven years ago at the desperate, pleading urging of our tiny children, preschoolers, both of whom we’d taken to the animal shelter with us to pick out one puppy. Rooky parenting mistake. We’ve had many dogs, and any number of them stand for this gentle example of who I think God is like.)

Jelly Bean didn’t care if I had prayed that morning or if I was still angry at the sky. She didn’t demand I say the right words or pretend I was fine. She simply showed up — tail wagging, eyes soft, breath warm against my hand — as if she’d had been sent to translate grace into a language I could finally understand: presence.

Every time I fell apart, she stayed.
Every time I pushed away, she came closer.
Every time I whispered I’m not worth loving, she tilted her head like she disagreed.

At some point, I stopped seeing a pet and started seeing a parable.

Maybe this is what we’ve missed — that God isn’t a man in the clouds but a pulse that shows up in fur, breath, and waiting. Maybe the divine doesn’t ask for worship, but companionship. Maybe the first step toward healing is to realize that love never left — it just had four paws.

---

I think dogs are the closest reflection of God we’ll ever meet this side of heaven. They forgive before you ask, they stay without proof you’ll deserve it, and they meet you where you are, not where you promise to be.

And if that’s not Godlike — if that’s not gospel — then I don’t know what is.

---

I’ve spent years trying to rebuild my faith after religion wrecked it. (Another story for another time.) And along the way, I noticed something simple: every time I felt safe, a dog was nearby. Every time I believed in love again, it was because something loyal, breathing, and wordless reminded me what love was supposed to feel like.

This book isn’t about doctrine. It’s about discovery — about seeing God in what loves you back.
It’s for the ones who left church but not hope, who still flinch at the word “worship” but ache for wonder.
It’s for the ones who need a theology that has teeth — gentle ones, the kind that hold rather than bite.

If religion told you that God is punishment, I want to show you what happens when God becomes presence.
If the church told you faith means submission, I want to show you how faith can mean safety.
And if you’ve forgotten how to believe, I hope these stories — of dogs and devotion, of cats and cautiousness, of love that keeps coming back — will help you see what I finally did:

That maybe the kingdom of heaven has been sleeping at the foot of your bed all along.

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