01/11/2021
Well. 2021 is off to a....start huh?
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Last week I felt a rush of excitement and joy when voters in Georgia succeeded in flipping the Senate but that was quickly overpowered by a deep sense of pain and grief with terrorism happening at our nation's capitol.
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Needless to say, with that going on, the surge of covid cases here in California, I'm pretty spent already. All of this has made me really sit down to wonder what I want to do with because honestly, the services I offer and the industry it is a part of has been causing me more stress than joy. Wedding and event inquiries (even the smallest ones) make me question if my business is a true reflection of my value system and that breaks my heart. I see the impact of small gatherings when I go to work as a PT who treats post-COVID patients who got sick after a family dinner. I get called into my directors office to be notified that I was exposed to a patient who later tested positive for covid. When I ask if they've seen any patterns in regards to how our patients have gotten covid while staying in a closed facility that has no visitors I am told that for this specific case, they are not sure yet but past cases were mostly traced back to when visitors would come in to see patients (back when it was allowed). In an environment where everyone is monitored, patients and visitors masked up, distanced, and limited to just one family member per day it still happened. I guess long story short, the traditional brie + ink content is not bringing me joy because I associate it with the pain of loss, the stress of uncertainty, the anxiety of coming home to tell my husband I was exposed and we both needed to monitor for symptoms.
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So I'm taking a short break from it all to reevaluate and figure out what I plan to do with this. I still love creating and I know my love for calligraphy is still there...somewhere. I just have to find it again given the environment I am in. I hope one day I can return to the offerings that originally got me into this artform.
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For those who will still stick around for the next stage, thanks in advance. Y'all represent the light at the end of this tunnel. 😘