Orchid Experience (2026)

07/04/2022

Sometimes people say the most hurtful things.

I was having blood drawn to see if I was entering menopause (yep, oy!). The phlebotomist introduced herself as we walked to her office. I warned her, just like everyone, that I might pass out but haven’t in years since I had to give myself fertility medications. Here’s the exchange that followed:

She asked if I had any little ones, and I said “no.”
She asked if I was still trying, I said “no, that I chose the childfree route.”
Her response to my answer was “OH, YOU GAVE UP.”

Um, that stung! But, I kept my cool.

She was younger than me, by at least 10 years if not more. She clearly had no idea how her words landed with me. And she’s mighty fortunate that I wasn’t freshly on the childfree path. Had she said that to me 6-8 years ago I most likely would have started crying or said something that I wouldn’t have regretted. Yep, I wouldn’t have said “I’m sorry,” those words came out of my mouth because you didn’t take a moment to consider the words coming out of yours.

Sometimes it’s not worth the energy to show someone how to be more sensitive to others’ stories. Sometimes they deserve a whopping - and it’ll probably feel good for you to get that out. Either way, how you choose to react or respond is a strong indicator of how much you’re triggered by their words.

Do you lash back?
Do you sulk in the corner?
Or somewhere in between?

It’s up to you. You get to decide what you do in a similar situation. You have options:

1️⃣ Breathe deeply and give them the benefit of the doubt.
2️⃣ Lash out and say something you’ll regret.
3️⃣ Come up with a few quick witty responses that put them in their place.

If you’re rusty like me, those won’t be at the ready. But if you’re in the early to middle stages of your journey, I bet you have them in your back pocket ready to deploy at a moment’s notice. And if not, here are a few responses that sting back:

-How is that supposed to make me feel?
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person -on the planet.
-Not too many people like you, do they?
-People like you are the reason why I feel stigmatized as an infertility survivor/warrior.

Go get ‘em!

Read the full blog post here: https://orchidexperience.com/blog/sometimes-people-say-the-most-hurtful-things

15/03/2022

We believe yoga is crucial to navigating the highs and lows of infertility and life beyond.

This is why over the past few months, we’ve offered an overview of the eight limbs of yoga and suggestions for how to incorporate each one into your daily life while facing fertility challenges.

Here they are again:

1) YAMA – The Five Restraints
2) NIYAMA – The Five Observances
3) ASANA – The Physical Practice
4) PRANAYAMA – Breath Control
5) PRATYAHARA – Withdraw of the Senses
6) DHARANA – Concentration
7) DHYANA – Meditation or contemplation
8) SAMADHI – The state of bliss or surrender

Check out our blog if you missed any of them or are curious to learn more. https://orchidexperience.com/blog/thats-a-wrap

08/03/2022

Last week, we introduced Samadhi — the eighth and final limb of yoga. In the traditional sense, this state is only achieved after achieving the two limbs before it, Dhyana and Dharana. Though, in a more contemporary sense, Samadhi is about finding peace — everlasting peace. Just like everything else in life, Samadhi can be achieved by finding balance — accepting the good and the bad.

Give this exercise a try:
-Grab a piece of paper and a pen.
-Write a list of things that are currently good in your life.
-Next to it, write a list of things that aren’t going as great.
-Can you hold both sides together, in your mind, at the same time?
-Let your eyes relax.
-Start to breathe deep.
-What do you feel?
-What do you notice?
-Write it down.

How did that go?

It’s a practice and may not come easy, and it’s meant to be practiced more than once. Revisit this practice as your life changes and moves. Notice if you had a desire to “change” something. Though the point isn’t to make a change, it's to hold both the good and the bad. At the same time, it doesn’t mean you can’t make a change.

Read the full blog post here: https://orchidexperience.com/blog/practicing-peace

01/03/2022

Samadhi is the eighth limb of yoga and it means “bliss” or “pure bliss” sometimes “nirvana” or “enlightenment.” It’s not as unattainable, high, or as pious as it may sound. Using one word to describe a state or feeling can sometimes be misleading. Though in traditional forms reaching Samadhi may be described as feeling the world slow down, or being able to observe all of the energies of the world around you. More simply, in real life, Samadhi is about being at peace. That sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?

This “peace” isn’t the fleeting peace we all experience. We all have those moments where we’re sitting on a park bench with someone we love. Together we’re watching the world go by and we’re in complete absorption of everything that's happening around us. It’s that, but all the time. It’s also not that.

Samadhi is also about being at peace with the good and the bad. Individually and all at the same time. This is the place where most of us struggle. We have those moments of peace, but accepting the bad for what it is and being OK if the change we want to make isn’t possible or doesn’t go our way. This doesn’t mean giving up hope or losing willpower. Instead, it means fully accepting and surrendering to what is at the moment. Making choices from a place of true intention and also knowing when to leave the pursuit and move on to something else.

When going through infertility, Samadhi and peace can be elusive. If and when we eventually find a little more peace, we reduce the anxiety and disappointment during our infertility journey.

22/02/2022

Last week, we learned about Dhyana — sustained focus. The difference between Dhayana (the seventh limb) and Dharana (the sixth limb) can be hard to explain, let alone experience. If you were able to go through the candle gazing meditation for 20 minutes or longer, we recommend trying today's meditation for 30 or 40 minutes versus the 20 minutes in the direction. Check it out here: https://orchidexperience.com/blog/an-exploration-in-obsession

No matter how the meditation went, it’s worth trying it a few times. Next week, we’ll address the eighth limb of yoga.

16/02/2022

As we step into these last two limbs of yoga, they become harder and harder to attain.

Over the last two weeks, we covered the sixth limb Dharana, which must be achieved before we move into the seventh limb Dhayana. Dhyana is often referred to as “absorption.” It is typically assumed this is done through meditation. As we previously discussed, Dharana is concentration. Once you have focused concentration you obtain Dhyana, which is sustained focus. Think of it like a steady stream of consciousness without all of that thought stuff.

Kinda like your obsession with getting pregnant — it’s all consuming.

You might be asking “What's the difference?” or “What’s the point?” I’m going through infertility, I can barely focus on my work. Well, we don’t have a great answer for you other than if you work on the limb(s) before, you may eventually achieve Dhyana. And as you continue to practice, you will deepen your connection to yourself, develop better interoceptive awareness, and find more satisfaction in life as a whole. If you’re more satisfied in life as a whole, you’ll be more resilient on your journey through infertility.

To sum it up (This would have been so helpful during yoga teacher training):

Dharana otherwise known as concentration

Dhyana is also known as absorption. Connection to the object you have been concentrating on can be sustained without effort

Come back next week when we offer a practice to help you reach .

09/02/2022

Concentration seems simple on the surface but as yoga goes, it’s more about letting everything else fall away.

Give this Candle Meditation a try:

Grab a candle. A real one is better than a battery operated one, but both will work fine. You could also use a looped video of a flickering candle flame.

Find a place where you can sit upright comfortably. Grab any pillows or blankets you need to support your practice.

Dim the lights and shut the shades to a level that is comfortable. The darker, typically, the better.

If time is of the essence, set a timer for 20 minutes. If time is not an issue, sit as long as you would like.

Set up your candle at a comfortable distance from where you’re sitting. Set it up on a table, chair, or stool to make it eye level or just slightly below eye level. If using a real flame, make sure it’s stable and all fire hazards are away.

When you’re ready, sit comfortably, blink a few times, relax the shoulders, and bring your focus to the flame.

Notice the colors of the flame, how it dances, and the shapes it makes.

You may have thoughts that wander in. In that moment, acknowledge that you’ve had a thought and bring your attention back to the flame. This bouncing back and forth between thought and the flame will soon come to an end.

Continue to stare at the flame and keep your eyes open, trying not to blink excessively.

Overtime, notice how the flame becomes the only part of your focus, and then becomes the only thing you see, maybe it even becomes part of you.

When you are ready, blink your eyes several times and slowly make your way out of your seat. If you feel compelled, take a moment to write down what you noticed and felt in your journal.

03/02/2022

The sixth limb of yoga takes us away from a physical practice and into an internalized practice. The last two weeks we used Pratyahara (the fifth limb) to enhance some senses and reduce the distraction of others. Dharana, the sixth limb, is pointed focus or concentration. This is the start of meditation.

Have you heard of being “in the zone?” Often people describe this sensation when on a long run, playing an intense sport where they’re winning, creative writing, or playing a musical instrument. Though these are all physical activities it’s a way to convey the idea of extreme focus or concentration — Dharana.

As far as infertility goes, the practice of Dharana is a way to deepen the connection to yourself. Taking it a step further from Pratyahara you may find your “gut feelings” or “gut instincts” louder than they have been before, and you might find they’re almost always right.

We’ve talked before about building interoceptive awareness, but when you have a good connection with Dharana, or this practice of concentration, your interoceptive awareness is typically more pronounced. In the end, you make better, more informed, decisions.

Check back next week where we’ll introduce you to a Dharana practice.

https://orchidexperience.com/blog/the-6th-limb-dharana

26/01/2022

Last week, we introduced Pratyahara — the 5th limb of yoga. But, how is it practiced?

Pratyahara is mostly still a physical practice. You could simply remove/bind the sense or allow it to slowly float into disappearance. Some of the senses are harder to “bind” but you can feel the enhancement, or the diminishing effects, by binding another sense instead. Here are a few practices for each of the senses you can try to incorporate into your daily life.

Sight
-Close your eyes while listening to music.
-Close your eyes or let your focus turn inward during a yoga practice.

Sound
-Put on noise canceling headphones while moving organically/dancing.
-Mute a TV show or movie without subtitles.

Taste
-Closing your eyes while you eat.
-Light a scented candle while eating something with an opposite smell.

Smell
-Plug your nose while you eat a piece of chocolate or sweets.
-Close your eyes while eating.

Touch
-Grab a touch and feel book or some interesting fabrics. Close your eyes while you feel each one slowly.
-Mindfully eat something crunchy followed by something smooth.

With all of these, be curious. What do you notice? What is enhanced? What feels muted? Are there things you didn’t notice before? What emotions arise in you? What thoughts seem to float away?

Pratyahara is a simple practice you can incorporate into bits of your day. There is no right or wrong in what you experience, it's about bringing awareness to the experience itself.

20/01/2022

The fifth limb of yoga, Pratyahara — the withdrawal of the senses, is about starting to turn your focus inward. When you can explore your sensed perception at a deeper level, you can more deeply discern what you really feel, want, and need.

Have you ever instinctively closed your eyes while listening to music to become lost or embodied by what you were hearing? The withdrawal of the sense of sight is an example of Pratyahara. In that moment, could you “feel” the music, physically? Did you feel the baseline beating in your chest? The treble notes making your arms and head sway? You literally felt moved by the music.

The more we practice Pratyahara the less we become distracted by the things around us. We learn to let one sense go at a time. When we concentrate, each sense becomes less and less noticeable. Undistracted by our senses it allows us to hone into what we’re really feeling, unswayed by excessive outside information. This practice helps us increase our level of discernment.

When we’re in the thralls of infertility, we find ourselves constantly chasing the next thing to hopefully get us pregnant, and ignoring the things that might be making us truly happy or unhappy. “Maybe if I eat brazil nuts after the ovulation (even though I hate them), it’ll finally work this time!” “Let’s do the next round of treatment in the fall because that’s when more babies are conceived even though I have a huge work project during that time.” “We can pull out another personal loan to try again even though we still live in a one-bedroom apartment. The baby can just sleep in our room too!”

12/01/2022

Give these two breathing techniques a try:

PURSED LIP BREATHING
This is a great technique to use during times of immediate physical pain. I know that sounds extreme, but it doesn’t need to be extreme pain. This particular practice is great for any of the many invasive infertility procedures (including blood draws), as well as a bad tummy ache.

- Inhale through the nose
- Create a small circle with the lips (like drinking through a straw) and exhale longer than the inhale.
- Repeat

DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING
We’ve been over this a few times, but the simple act of bringing your awareness to your breath can have a huge impact on you physiologically. If you feel tense, pain, or stressed, stop. And notice your breathing. Sometimes it can feel difficult and there may be FEAR of [added] pain, but making a shift in your breathing can make all the difference.

- Place your hands on your belly
- Notice the belly expand as you inhale
- Notice the belly come back in as you exhale
- Focus on the movement of the belly as you repeat this breath
- After a few rounds, see if you can extend your exhale to be longer than the inhale

If you’re interested in learning more ways to breathe and how to shift your perspective, check out The Paths — Our course that helps you take charge of your fertility journey and meets you where you are at.

https://orchidexperience.com/blog/how-to-use-pranayama

05/01/2022

How do you breathe?

Do you think about it? Do you ever pause to notice what happens when the breath comes in? And then what happens when it goes out? The 4th limb is arguably the “easiest” of the 8-limbed path - Pranayama - aka breathing. Typically we neglect the breath until it feels strained or absent. We all breathe automatically, it’s autonomic. We don’t have to think to breathe, but there are ways of breathing that are better than others for us physiologically.

We have covered this extensively over the years, but simply put when you breathe your belly should expand out on the inhale and go back in on the exhale.

You just did that, didn't you? What did you notice?

It’s not the inhales that make a huge difference, it's the exhales.

When you exhale - long and slow and your belly moves in - it signals to your brain that you’re safe and that it's ok to rest, digest, and reproduce.

But your belly didn’t move in on your exhale? Or your exhale was short? Maybe your belly went out when you exhaled? Now what?

Well, we can work on that.

Next week, we’ll go over a few different breathing techniques to help you relax - and in turn - rest, digest, and most importantly reproduce.

Orchid Experience

07/04/2022

15/03/2022

08/03/2022

01/03/2022

22/02/2022

16/02/2022

09/02/2022

03/02/2022

26/01/2022

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