08/25/2016
Two years ago to the month (August 2014) I was in a bad state physically. I was considered obese at 175 pounds (This number was probably a little higher actually but this is what I have recorded for my first official weigh in) and 5 feet one inch tall. I felt terrible and I looked terrible because I felt terrible. I didn't bother to dress up any more, I stayed in my pajamas and laid down the majority of my day. I was depressed, unmotivated, and suicidal if I am being honest. One day, finally, I took a look at myself and wondered how I had gotten to this point. I wondered why I had allowed myself to fall down so far. I then made a decision that I would no longer sit around feeling sorry for myself, I would no longer allow myself to become what I thought everyone else thought of me. I decided to be the person I had always wanted to be. I decided to make a change.
Everyday I would force myself out of my bed by literally rolling out of it. I pushed myself to work out every single day. I did this for roughly two to three hours a day for six months. I lost ten pounds within the first month, twenty by the end of three. After that I gained and lost more weight but stayed roughly around the same. I stopped working out so profusely and it became more erratic until my next burst of inspiration the next August in 2015. I then lost ten more pounds by that Christmas, I was down to 145 pounds. The lowest I had been since high school. I did put on extra weight after that time as I started to slow down again. This summer, a few months ago, I started working as a cycling instructor at my uncle's studio. This is something I never imagined I would or could ever do. If you had told me I would be working at a gym when I was in middle or high school, I would have laughed in your face. If you would have even told me this one or two years ago, I probably would have reacted that way as well. Up until a few months ago, I didn't believe I could do it.
Here I am, on my twentieth something class. I am in better shape than I have probably ever been in my life after the age of ten. I have always been a procrastinator and I have never really believed in myself. Any workout I started in the past typically ended after about a month or less. The fact that I have stuck with it and continue to improve and work towards my goals, is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have never really felt proud of myself before, but I can truly say I am very proud of my accomplishments, even if I did not reach my ultimate goal. For once in my life I said I was going to do something, and I actually did! Even when no one else believed in me, heck, I didn't even believe in me, I still did it. I stuck to it and I can't believe I did. My ultimate goal was to lose 50 pounds in two years or to be 125 pounds. At my lowest weight, I reached 135 pounds, ten pounds above my goal.
For those of you out there doubting yourself or thinking you can't do it, I want you to know you can. You are so much stronger than you think you are. You have much more to give than you think you do. If I can do this than I firmly believe anyone can. I am a huge procrastinator, super lazy, and can be severely negative and self-hating and yet I somehow managed to get in shape. I still have a ways to go myself before I am fully in shape, but the progress I have made so far is shocking to me. So if you want to make a change in your life, lose that weight, then do it. Just do it. Get up and start it, even if you have to literally roll out of your bed and half heartedly flail your arms around to jumping jacks. Start moving. We all start somewhere, don't be discouraged by others results or lack of your own. Keep at it and keep strong. This is about building a strong, healthy lifestyle. It is not about beating anybody else, it is about improving yourself and where you currently are. It is about finding you.
