02/09/2026
Why attention feels dangerous when you are Stepping out of the narcissists shadow. 👇🏻
(This is DEEP)
This was my response to a client that is currently healing from a narcissistic marriage. She is learning that she can be radiant AND safe at the same time.
Response is 👇🏻
Hello my angel,
Let me break down what’s happening (I know you know lol) in your beautiful system right now, because this is so much deeper than just “being uncomfortable with attention.” It is much deeper. So let’s dive in shall we?!
While you were in that narcissistic marriage, your nervous system learned that being seen equaled danger. Your light, your energy, your aliveness - all of it became a threat to your safety because it either triggered his rage, his need to control you, or his attempts to diminish you. So your subconscious did what it does best: it protected you by dimming your light. You became smaller, quieter, less vibrant - not because that’s who you are, but because that’s what kept you safe.
Now here’s what’s happening, my girl: as you heal, your natural radiance is coming back online. HELLO LIGHTHOUSE! Your energy is returning to its authentic frequency. AUTHENTIC FREQUENCY. Mmmm.
But your subconscious is still running the old program. It’s saying “Wait, wait, wait - being visible got us hurt before. Being attractive got us punished. Being seen meant we were targeted.” So even though the threat is gone, your body is still bracing for impact.
Its STILL Deeper-The fear is coming from a few places:
The association between visibility and violation. In that marriage, when you shined, you likely experienced jealousy, control, punishment, or emotional abuse. Your system learned: attention = danger. So now, even positive attention triggers that alarm.
THIS ONE IS HUGE-The loss of your safety strategy. Being small and invisible kept you safe for so long. Your subconscious is terrified that if you let yourself be seen again, you’ll lose your ability to protect yourself. It doesn’t trust yet that you can be radiant AND safe at the same time. Read that, one more time-you can be radiant and safe at the same.
The fear of repeating this sneaky pattern is showing up to CLEAR IT OUT. Deep down, there’s a whisper saying “What if I attract the same thing again? What if my energy brings in someone who will hurt me like he did?” Your system is trying to protect you from re-traumatization by keeping you hidden.
The deep Unfamiliarity with positive attention can make you cringey lol. I feel this is in my bones. Since you spent years receiving attention that was manipulative, possessive, or conditional, genuine appreciation might actually feel foreign and unsafe. Your body doesn’t have a reference point for “this person sees me and it’s actually okay.” SO all interested parties presumably become a threat to your brain. 
Here’s the truth, my love: your discomfort is your system trying to love you. So weird right?!
It’s trying to keep you safe using outdated information. The work now is gently teaching your nervous system that you’re in a different reality. That being seen can be safe. That your light is not a liability - it’s your birthright. YOUR LIGHT IS NOT A LIABILITY. This is deep. Whew!
You’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re healing. And healing means updating the programming, one safe experience at a time.
I said it once, and I’ll say it again-YOUR LIGHT IS NOT A LIABILITY.
If this hit so deep, and it resonated in your womb, soul, heart and mind. Reach out, message me and let’s explore how we can work together. 
I love you.
Moe
Apostle and Prophet Monique Mosher