12/29/2020
NEVER EVER FORGET there is another way!
âI remember before I tried m**h, I asked people what it was like. They said âitâs like a burst of energy, a rush that takes your breath, itâs the best feeling ever, I donât know how to explain it really.â And they were right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what itâs like, I would tell them..
âItâs like spending every single penny you ever had, on drugs.
Itâs like going days without eating even though you were starving, but you needed dope more.
Itâs like having to lie to every family and friend you had ever had.
Itâs like waking up hating yourself from the shame and guilt.
Itâs like going into withdrawals every 8 hours unless you had more dope to do. (And you usually didnât)
Itâs like never attending any family event because you were too high or too sick.
Itâs like everyone eventually stopped inviting you to events. And even talking to you.
It's like crying yourself to sleep every single night because your children got taken.
Itâs like knowing you have one more chance to get better before your child gets adopted and still choosing that bag.
It's like asking others how your own blood child is doing.
It's watching everyone around you succeed and yet youâre crumbling.
Itâs like everything was on your drug dealers time. If they said five hours. Youâll wait five hours in a car.
Itâs like stealing everything worth value for dope. No matter how sentimental it was to you, or someone else.
Itâs like losing so much weight you canât fit into any of your clothes.
Itâs like losing everything youâve ever owned in your entire life.
Itâs like nobody believing a word you said, even if it was the truth.
Itâs like being a prisoner inside your own head.
Itâs like contemplating su***de every single day.
Itâs like never being scared to die, because thatâs what you wanted.
Itâs like trying to shut your brain up for even five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.
Itâs like seeing your family cry for you to stop, only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasnât an option. It wasnât possible.
Itâs like youâd do absolutely anything for more. And you did.
Itâs like everyone hating you no matter where you went, because they knew you were a drug addict.
You'll miss out on your children and they'll be grown before you Know it. You'd kill for your child and do any and everything for them yet you won't be able to get clean for them and we actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most.
Itâs like overdosing and going to get high right after.
Itâs like walking into rehab 100 pounds with the clothes on your back and being scared to death.
Itâs like giving your ENTIRE LIFE AWAY.
So if youâre ever curious like I was, please at least know the truth. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, and it WILL KILL YOU TOOâ đŻđđ