A speech I gave at my first Child Abuse Rally/Vigil: Destiny was only 3 yrs old when she was murdered by..."Click to continue" A Speech I gave at my first Child Abuse Rally/Vigil:
Hi, My name is Sandra Cox and my granddaughter is Destiny Rose Marie Cox. Our sweet girl was 3 yrs old when she was allegedly murdered on April 29th, 2011 from a horrific act of Child Abuse by her mother's boyfriend David Gharrett. He is currently awaiting trial and I pray we get Justice for Destiny with life without the possibility of parole for what he did to our innocent girl. Her mommy and Daddy were living with us so we happily got to have her in our home for the first few months of her life. Her big blue eyes were filled with happiness each and every single day. She had a smile that was so contagious from the very beginning and everyone who spent time with her fell in love with our sweet natured little girl. Her mommy and Daddy ended up breaking up and went there own ways. Destiny remained a huge part of our lives up until the time her Mother started dating David Gharrett. Slowly our access to Destiny was limited more and more. The last 1 1/2 yrs of her life we rarely got to see Destiny and that caused tremendous pain for us all. Throughout that 1 1/2 yrs Destiny suffered a broken leg when she was 1 yr old. The story we were told was David Gharrett got up in the middle of the night to get her a bottle and he accidentally stepped on her breaking her leg. It took them 3 days to take her to the hospital before she received any treatment. Our sweet girl had to go 3 days with a broken leg. Imagine that for just a moment....a 1 yr old going 3 days! Once she was finally taken, the hospital called DCFS and an investigation begun. Ultimately it was determined to be unfounded. As a devoted mother myself so many questions ran through my mind. Why was she on the floor sleeping? Why did it take 3 days to get her treatment? Why did they try to keep it from us that she had a broken leg? None of this made any sense. I knew in my heart something was wrong. The only reason that makes sense why they wouldn't get her treatment is because they were scared and they knew that they had done an unforgivable act. The next major injury she had was a broken arm. We have heard a few different versions of this story so we don't know the truth on it. One story is she fell when climbing out of a pool and her arm was broken. Mind you she was only two yrs old at this time. A friend of theirs said he was there that day and he dropped her while climbing out of the pool with her but later he changed his story and says that she never complained her arm hurt and never had any problem using it the rest of the day. The next day they told him he must of broke it. He said at the time they convinced him it could be true. Maybe it was when she fell. But for me, after what has happened, I believe her arm was broke later that night and they used him as a scapegoat. I will never forget the last wknd we got to spend with Destiny. It was in between both of her injuries of her delicate bones being broken. It was Memorial Wknd about a yr before she was murdered and we had many family and friends staying at our beautiful cabin with a pond. We had cookouts daily, fishing in the pond, kids playing on the hill and tons of happy pictures were taken all wknd long. How sad that I never knew at the time that the pictures we took that wknd would mostly be the pictures that are used for memorializing her now in her death. Considering all the pictures from her mother's home showed her messy, dirty, chopped up hair and in the pictures of her and her murderer the look on her face looks like a combination of fear and sadness. Every picture of ours shows her smiling so big and happy, clean and dressed so cute. I remember calling her mother who I hadn't spoken to in such a long time and thanked her profusely for allowing our son to bring her there for the entire wknd. It seems we got so many family members in pictures with her that wknd and some awesome ones of her and her Daddy and the love they had for one another is so evident in each one. I will always cherish that wknd. I will forever believe God allowed us to have such an amazing wknd full of warm, loving memories with so much happiness before the horror and tragedy of her murder took it all away. During the next yr or so after that our son would get Destiny sporadically and each time she would cry when it was time to go home. She would talk of being called names and being hit in the head. That along with the broken bone incidents and DCFS failing each time they were called, our son tried to take it to court. He tried telling the judge of his suspicions. He was basically told that the courts felt he was trying to use the Abuse charge to gain custody of his daughter and the judge was not happy about that. Since we all know the outcome here there is one thing I would love to do besides get my hands on the murdering coward David Gharrett and that is ask that Judge how he feels now? I know it was not his hands that killed my Granddaughter but I would love to know why he would not even consider the possibility that her father was telling the truth. He had an opportunity to investigate the situation and he most definitely missed an opportunity to save Destiny's life. On April 28th, 2011 I was sitting at home in TN watching my evening shows with my husband and three girls. I received a phone call from IL and was told that Destiny had choked on jalapeno peppers and was rushed to the Hospital by ambulance. I knew instantly something was wrong, this story just didn't make sense. I had a gut feeling that there was more to the story. After making repeated phone calls in desperation to get more answers, more details I received a call from the murderers brother. He proceeded to tell me that Destiny was being flown by Helicopter to St. Francis Hospital in Peoria, Il. He said she choked on the peppers and his brother just found her unresponsive and it didn't look good for Destiny. My mothers intuition shot threw me like a bolt of lightening! I tried to ask questions...What do you mean by it doesn't look good? Is she alive? Is she going to live? Where was her mother? Why was she eating peppers? Found her where? I never could get any straight answers from him. All he would repeat was it was an accident. over and over...It was an accident. I knew right then and there...this was NO accident. I had no idea at that time how right I was and I did not even come close to imagining the truth of the matter but I knew without a doubt there was more to this story and I knew David Gharrett was at the center of it. It was hrs later, around 1am after being told so many different things, she was going to live, she might die, we don't know, it was back and forth. I had knots in my stomach, I paced the floors making phone call after phone call, trying to find out something...anything! We decided at that time to pack our bags and have our truck loaded and we tried to lay down for 2 hrs before getting up at 5am to make the 6 1/2 hr trip home to Illinois. We got up after having a restless few hrs and started the trip home all the while making numerous phone calls trying to get any information we could on Destiny's condition. We were about 2 1/2 hrs from home when we got the call they were pronouncing her brain dead but were waiting on us to get to the hospital in Peoria, IL. I have never drove so fast in my life with tears streaming down my face all the while pleading with God that it would not be so when we got there. Please God save her. Please don't let this be true. It was the longest couple of hrs in my life. We got to Decatur IL about 30 min from our hometown of Clinton which is still an hr from the hospital Destiny was at when they called and said if we didn't get there soon they were not going to wait. It was at that time we were told that they were waiting on us for my husband to tell our son Davey that his daughter was brain dead and they were going to take her off life support. We finished that drive with dread and our hearts completely broken and devastated. We pulled into Clinton and went straight to our son to pick him up to take him to Peoria. As soon as we pulled in his words still to this day ring so loudly in my head..." Dad I'm going to get custody of her now. They have to believe me now dad. I'm going to get my little girl" My husband told him to get in the truck and took him for a ride and told his son that no he was not going to get his little girl. His little girl was going to be taken off life support when we got to the hospital. There are no words I can say to describe the agony of the cries that came out of her Daddy's heart. The loss of all of his hopes and dreams to rescue his only child from the sad painful life she knew. His little girl was going to be taken off life support this day and his life and heart would never be the same. I have never seen nor witnessed such pain on a parents face as I did that day. All of our hearts were shattered beyond repair. We arrive at the hospital with the murderer and his brother denying us access to see Destiny. There were security guard's called and two families put on opposite sides of the hospital. After some time they removed her mother and the beast that killed Destiny along with his brother and mother who all resided in the same home as her and allowed us to go into her room and spend a little time with her. I stood on her left side stroking her little bruised arm and whispering loving words in her ear. I stroked her tiny head, felt her soft silky blond hair and as softly as I could gave her kisses upon her face with tears streaming from the deepest pain I have felt from my heart. I watched her daddy lay his head on her chest to hear her heartbeat for the last time. I watched him kiss her over and over and over saying how sorry he was. I watched him cradle his baby girl in his arms for the last time with such an excruciating groan of pain escaping his lips. Our baby girl looked like an angel sleeping, so tiny and helpless but looked at peace. We were taken back to a room and the doctors came in and told us they couldn't say much but they would tell us that they did not believe she choked. There was no evidence of it. They told us she had abdominal bleeding and there was an injury to her head that caused her to be brain dead. Instantly I knew we were right. He had finally done it. He had beaten her to death. They may not have come out and said it but it was apparent. There were police everywhere. They proceeded to tell us that her mommy and the bastard that killed her were going to deny our son the right to be in the room when she was taken off life support. Our son pleaded with the Doctors to beg her and that monster who took her life to allow him in there. He promised to not say one word. He begged them please just let me be there when she takes her last breath. The answer was NO. The doctors apologized profusely but they would not allow him to be in there. The man that violently beat our granddaughter to death got to be the one with her when she took her last breath. We left the hospital in almost complete silence, surrounded by several guards and escorted out. We were told for the safety of all and to keep the peace but there is something about being treated like the criminal when the true criminal got to be a part of something that those who loved her, cared for her and tried to keep her safe should of been a part of. That is something that can never be changed. A few days later David Gharett was arrested on 6 counts of murder. After questioning him he confessed and his version of events are she choked on peppers than she threw up and he threw her into the bathtub. I am sorry but there is much more to the story than that. They told us she died from blunt force trauma to the head and abdomen. They say she had a fist imprint on her tiny stomach. I personally witnessed the bruises on her left arm and other family members lifted her up and seen bruises on her back and other places on her body while she laid in the hospital bed. Destiny's mother says Des would cry when she went to work. That day the ambulance was called within 30 min. of her leaving for job. I believe Destiny was crying and it set him off. The doctors already said there was no evidence of any peppers being involved after examining her. I need to remind you this has not went to trial yet so all the details have not been given but from what we have been told and trying to piece things together I will say what I feel happened to her and this is just my opinion. I believe her crying infuriated him and he punched her in the stomach. I know from reports that they cut a portion of the living room carpet out and it had vomit on it. I believe she vomited after being punched in her tiny stomach. I believe that infuriated him even more so he grabbed her up out of anger and continued to beat her down the hallway into the bathroom and proceeded to violently throw her into the tub because she had vomit on her. Her injuries were severe enough that one throw into the the bathtub could not have caused them all. I can not stop the images playing over and over in my mind of her last moments. Its like a nightmare I can not wake up from. I can only imagine the fear and the pain our tiny baby girl was feeling. She wore a size 2T and weighed 28 lbs. He was 6ft tall, towering over her with brute strength. She had no way of defending herself against his anger and wrath. His hatred for our son consumed him and this time he did not just simply break one of her bones...He violently murdered her!! Destiny's funeral was one I cant remember much of. I honestly can only remember such an excruciating pain and hearing deep cries of agony. Her tiny little body laying in that casket looking like a sleeping princess. I wished so badly that she would sit up and give that infectious big smile and say its a mistake. I am alive. I know that sounds morbid or maybe not normal or right but my mind just did not want to accept that she would be gone forever because what...a grown man chose to violently attacked a tiny helpless child. How could someone have that much anger in their souls? I have thoughts of revenge that play with my mind. I sit and catch myself pondering ways in which I could torture him. He has destroyed a part of me and my family that can never heal. Since Destiny's passing I found myself spending hours on the internet reading countless stories that sounded eerily similar to our own. I remember for the first few days, wks, months I would sit in shock at how often I found this was happening all over the world. Countless, senseless crimes against helpless children who have no hope of defending themselves. It would almost eat me alive and at times I lost track of time and my duties as a mother because I was so intent on reading these stories and allowing it to control my every waking moment. I honestly dont know what I was looking for. Sometimes I think I just wanted to learn more. How did this happen to us? What could we have done differently? Another part of me just couldnt stop reading and crying over so many other angels gone too soon. Was that to help me not focus on the horrible tragedy in my own family or to just feel connected to someone else who would understand my pain? I had to find a balance to save myself from the self destruction I was doing. I would be no help to anyone or anything if I kept devouring story after story full of so much senseless pain and agony. I had learn to balance my daily life of taking care of my three girls at home and researching other stories and ways to help put an end to this terrible unspoken ugly truth. I vowed from the beginning to try to make a difference. I have signed countless petitions and I try to keep the Awareness of Child abuse out there from my FB page. I have joined many group's that are fighting the fight we all need to join. This is my first Child Abuse Rally/ Vigil and I can promise you this...It will NOT be my last. I don't know how to get people to listen but I will never give up trying. If only everyone of us tries to keep the word out there. Encourage others to be more aware, report any suspicion you have. There are so many people that are coming forward about Destiny's situation now saying I seen this and I seen that. I often wonder does that make them feel good to come forward now? Where were you when it was happening? Why didn't you tell us or report it? You are no hero after the fact. A Child is dead. I don't lay her death at the feet of those who remained quiet because it was not their hands that murdered her but people have to understand that by remaining silent you are in a small way guilty. Everyone needs to take responsibility when it comes to our children. We are the adults, the ones who are suppose to protect and nurture them. If you see a child being abused whether it is a family member, a friend or a stranger...stop....think... If this was your child, What would you do to protect them? I know for myself I would give my own life for my children. Are you able to live with turning your back, hoping it will go away or that someone else will report it? I am not willing to gamble that child's life. When it comes to Child Abuse each and everyone of us plays a very important role. I found this statement online and I think this says it all....There's the person who commits the abuse. There's the child who is the victim. There's the person who does something about it and There's the person that does nothing. Which person would you be? I know for me, I will do something about it. I will report any and all suspicions I have. I will never be guilty again of thinking something like this wont happen to someone I know because I now know with painful conviction it can happen to anyone! I will shout to anyone who will listen, I will shout til my voice gives out on me..Please! I beg of you all. Make a Choice to be a Voice! It just might save a child's life! I, Sandra Cox, declare that all views, opinions, and statements regarding my granddaughter's life and death as well as any other statements made by me are my own personal views and opinions. If at any point Justice For Destiny ~ Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention is mentioned it is for identification purposes only. I am speaking for myself alone and no endorsement for Justice for Destiny is at any time implied.
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