Life is Beautiful Counseling and Coaching

04/06/2026

04/02/2026

A little late with my wedded Wednesday reminder this week. Use these reminders when you are feeling an argument brewing: (www.lifeisbeautifulcounselingandcoaching.com)

03/30/2026

Mental Health Monday

Joshua Coleman is a psychologist that has written extensively about estranged parents. He has gathered research and I track with what he has to say. He posted an email to his subscribers today entitled, "The Deficit Model of Parenting and the end of Gratitude." He came up with 3 basic questions for the adult child that is estranged from their parent to consider:

1. What did your parent provide vs. what was missing?
2. Did you parent have the power to create a happy, healthy adult?
3. did your parent have the power to anticipate, interpret, and respond to your inner world?

Based on the answers, is that a failure or the human condition? Is your pain based on ordinary limtations or emotional neglect? Is parental imperfection evidence of deeper dysfunction?

The adult child should have an idea of what the parent didn't provide. Is that being given more weight than what they did provde? Coleman goes on to say: " It's as if relationship are being evaluated not as a whole, but as a list of deficits. Care becomes "the bare minimum". Provision becomes "what you're supposed to do." Sacrivide becomes invisible.""

Instead of showing gratitude the adult child feels they betray what they didn't get. Gratitude complicates the narrative because it forces you to hold two truths at the same time. You were both loved and hurt. Both provided for and neglected.

Our current culture ranks personal experience and perception as truth. When reevaluated objectively, you can see the bigger picture - the parent had their own situation being lived out and happening to them at the same time. So asking, "what did you receive?
"what limitations were your parent working from?
"can you appreicate your parent alongside of the disappointment?"

Granted some parents are truly monsters. That's a different conversatoin. But looking at your parent through this lens - were they? Or were they trying to do the best they could in the situation they were in?

So let's try this exercise. Write out this list side by side:
What did your parent provide vs. how did your parent neglect you?

If you consider the objective evidence, do they deserve the sentence that they are having to endure? The deficit model measures all the ways your parents lacked. Joshua Coleman proposes that gratitude widens the lens and opens the door for reconcilation.

The positive impact of gratitude on your body has legitimate evidence. The inverse of that is true as well. Holding someone responsible for something they didn't do and failing to thank them for what they did do says more about the one that is holding hostage than it does the one being held as hostage.

03/25/2026

Wedded Wednesday is about supporting your marriage with research backed ideas to enhance your relationship. This idea of turning towards is from John Gottman's 40+ years of research on what promotes a solid relationship.

Take turns
No unsolicited advice
Show genuine interest
Communicate your understanding
Take your spouse’s side
Take the ‘we against others’ attitude
Express affection
Validate emotions
Identify and own your own state
How can I make this better?

Your marriage should be a picture of the Gospel. If these things are hard for you or not happening in your home, it might be a good time to have a marriage check-up. We can help you with that.

07/12/2025

Would you prefer AI over a person to sit with you and hold space for you?

07/03/2025

We are so excited to announce that we will be opening our new office July 7th on the second floor of 1416 Park Ave., Suite 201!

If you have been on the fence about getting a mental health check-up, now is the time! Please reach out through our website to schedule a free 15-minute consult. www.lifeisbeautifulcounselingandcoaching.com

06/02/2025

Please share this with your friends in North Carolina and Florida.

Life is Beautiful Counseling and CoachingSpecializing in Anxiety, Family Issues, Trauma and Life Coaching through a Christian lens EMDR Couples and Families Anxiety/Depression Support Life Coaching

05/20/2025

I read this quote today by William James and it is at the crux of what I do:

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.”

We get stuck in our thinking. I call it Stinkin' Thinkin'. It can be paralyzing. It can be mood altering.

If you find yourself stuck in negative thought spirals or feelings that are not who you see yourself as - this is the right time to seek out someone to help you change your attitude. Give us a call at

Life is Beautiful Counseling and CoachingSpecializing in Anxiety, Family Issues, Trauma and Life Coaching through a Christian lens EMDR Couples and Families Anxiety/Depression Support Life Coaching

05/02/2025

Let us help you be aware of your mental health! We all have it and we can all benefit from assessing how we are doing in this area. Be curious with us. If you stop right where you are and assess how you "feel" about your current situation. What do you notice? What's coming up? Can you feel anything in your body? Is it pain? Is it joy? Is it confusing?

03/30/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/18KHC8HmGa/?mibextid=wwXIfr

02/03/2025

Accepting new self-pay clients in North Carolina and Florida.

01/24/2025

Mike and I are building a workshop to speak to the pain of family estrangement. If you would like to be kept informed of when we will be speaking please let us know and if you know someone that would be interested in this topic, would you please share it with them?