Therapist Vaj Thoj Cindy

11/10/2025

The UK education system is in crisis, manifesting in increasing anxiety and non-attendance among Neurodivergent children. Existing research has identified schoo...

11/09/2025

Join us for Parents Supporting Parents meeting on Monday, November 17, 2025 from 5:30pm-7:00pm.

We will meet in-person at our office on 225 University Ave. W, Suite 125, St. Paul, MN 55103.
Register here: https://forms.gle/HX75jcB6pfUbenVB8
Not required but encouraged to help us better prepare.

11/08/2025

What kind of parent are you? Are you gentle? Or are you permissive? What do you call your parenting?

11/06/2025

UPDATE: Place your order by 11-10-2025!!

Fun Fact: I am a Destination Imagination (DI) alumni as I participated in Odyssey of the Mind (OM) prior to the year 2000.

But this post is not about me! I actually want to encourage all of you to help with buying eggrolls to support this group of students called the Krabbie Baddies. They are a DI group in Southeast Fresno who has been handpicked to represent California in China’s competition. More information about them In the comments!

DI was an amazing experience for me as it supported my growth and exploration at a young age and serves as some of my core best memories in childhood.

To learn more about all the great things of DI, go here: https://www.destinationimagination.org

Otherwise, buy eggrolls and support something great!

Can’t buy? Share this away!

11/05/2025

Parenting is not easy, but showing up is the first step.

Kudos to all my parents out there!!

11/04/2025

This little girl and her seven siblings grew up on government-funded programs as their parents worked and farmed daily to ensure that there was a roof over their heads, food on the table, fresh water to drink, and clothes on their bodies.

From CalFresh to CalWorks, Medi-Cal to Section 8 and welfare, this girl remembered it all. Somewhere along the way, she and her seven siblings grew out of the need for these programs and, instead, was able to give to them.

As I hear and read the stories of parents and families who are cutting back on certain meals or other essential needs to prioritize feeding their children, my heart is broken because I remember this girl and know that these programs influenced her ability to be where she is today.

All this to say, I want this post to honor anyone who is giving this season. If you or someone you know is giving away essential items, please post the information in the comments and add the city and state.

Additionally, please remember to share this post so that it can be circulated to those who need it.

Thank you, from me, Cindy Vang, LMFT, and this little girl who grew up to become me.

10/24/2025

Did you know that according to diagnosing criteria, bullying does not automatically qualify as a “trauma”? The bullying acts must be considered “actual or threatened death, serious injury, or physical or sexual violence” to even be considered a traumatic event.

However, most trauma therapists know that what is traumatic is different person to person and age to age. We also know that people report feeling traumatized by an event or series of events when

1) The event(s) was unexpected,
2) It caused intense distress in the individual experiencing it, and
3) The individual felt alone dealing with the event(s)

Taking that into account, can you imagine how bullying would fall into this?

And when we consider the Internal experiences of different neurotypes, can you see how bullying can absolutely be a trauma?

We can prevent bullying when we take the steps to practice kindness, inclusion, and acceptance.

And if we can prevent bullying, we can also prevent trauma from happening to 20% of students in schools.

10/20/2025

I present to you, Txooj Neeb and Niam Txooj Neeb Vaj (Mr. and Mrs. Chong Neng Vang).

This weekend, my spouse and I had a milestone event, the tis npe laus ceremony, which I translate into the “elder naming ceremony”. According to cultural experts, this has been referred to as the “mature naming ceremony”.

In the Hmong culture, an elder name signifies growth and maturity, and because the culture is patriarchal, the name is given to the husband who shares it with his wife.

Together, the couple is recognized as grown and mature with the potential to become leaders in their family and clan. Additionally, because the name is carefully selected with the intent and purpose of blessing the couple, good fortune is bestowed upon them including good health, longevity, and abundance.

In present-day Hmong America, I often see this event paired with vow renewals or anniversary celebrations. After having experienced it directly myself, I can understand why.

My spouse and I have been married for 13 years. While we celebrate our anniversary every year, the last time we honored our union was 13 years ago when we began our marriage. At the time, we were in our mid to late-20s.

Our individual selves have grown over time, which has deeply affected our relationship. We are no longer young lovers whose main responsibility was our relationship and our careers. We have three children and have weathered many storms together, feeling the depth of “for better or worse, in sickness and in health”.

This weekend’s event was a rebirth in our marriage and our relationship. The words that our elders gave us captured everything that is expected when one begins the path of ascending into an eldership that is filled with love, honesty, and courage.

I have always had a strong sense of self, but this weekend, I felt a strong sense of connection, belonging, and family.

To the couples who are reading this, I hope that you have a practice of honoring everything that makes your relationship strong and loving as both of you mature and grow through life. If you don’t, I encourage you to create one.

We are biologically wired to be in connection with others, and practices like this is an impactful reminder of our basic human need.

10/18/2025

No right or wrong way to heal. There is just healing. and

10/16/2025

It’s not selfish to want kindness, respect, and love. You don’t have to shrink your needs or convince yourself you’re asking for too much.

10/16/2025

I love EMDR both as a client and an EMDR therapist. The model, when received by a well-trained or certified EMDR therapist, has the ability to transform your life. I felt it firsthand as a client and witness it directly as a therapist almost every day.

If research is you jam, here's what we have on and how it heals https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/recent-research-about-emdr/