12/30/2025
2025 broke me open and then it remade me.
This year I stood in birth rooms filled with breathless anticipation and raw, feral strength.
I watched babies take their first breaths and felt the air shift the moment they arrived.
I held shaking hands. I counted contractions. I whispered, youâre doing it, youâre safe, Iâve got you.
I supported 15 live births this yearâ15 hellos that cracked open the universe with joy.
And then there were the other moments.
The ones that donât get balloons or announcements.
The late-night phone calls where a motherâs voice is barely holding together.
The texts that start with, âSomethingâs wrong.â
The rooms where time feels suspended, where the only sound is quiet sobbing and the weight of goodbye.
I offered bereavement support to 32 mothers this year.
Thirty-two stories of love that didnât get enough time.
Thirty-two babies who were deeply, fiercely wanted.
Thirty-two moments where I bore witness to the kind of grief that changes a person forever.
I have watched mothers say hello and goodbye with the same shaking hands.
I have seen tears fall onto bellies that once held so much hope.
I have held space for joy so big it feels holyâand sorrow so heavy it steals your breath.
This work is not gentle.
It is sacred and brutal and beautiful all at once.
And it has changed me.
It has taught me that love doesnât disappear when a baby doesnât come home.
That grief and joy often sit side by side, holding hands.
That being invited into these momentsâboth the miracle and the heartbreakâis an honor I will never take lightly.
To every mother who trusted me with their body, their baby, their story:
Thank you.
You have shaped me more than you know.
I end this year humbled.
Forever changed.
And endlessly grateful to do this workâall of it.
May 2026 be a year full of the same energy, blessings and honors. This job is truly amazing.
đ¤
miscarriagedoula
