30/05/2017
420+ Oh how I wish that number was non existent. That number represents so many things both negative and positive. I was unhappy, previously in an unhealthy relationship, dealing with so many negative things and I was sad. Sad because I was in pain both physically and emotionally, learning to accept and deal with autism, and I felt trapped. At this weight I went home to visit my mom. I could barely make it up and down her stairs. Then we had the conversation. She told me if you don't do something now you are going to die. You will leave those babies with no mother and who is going to take care of them? They need their mom. You have a child with autism. What is going to happen to him. That was my rock bottom, the person who gave me life showing me how easy my life was going to be taken away because of choices I was making. Honestly no one could fix it but me. I don't know if she will ever know how thankful I am for her brutal honesty. I went home that trip with a desire to change. I did it, I had an incredible P*P that introduced me to the BEST program and I started following Chris and Heidi Powell's carb cycling and working with one of the most amazing people I could have met at that point in time. Mandy got me through that first 100 pounds and I felt invincible. I was scheduled for VSG surgery and I was on a roll. At 309 pounds I had the surgery, but lost slow in comparison to others. Even when I was super strict and doing exactly what my nutritionist said to do it just wasn't coming off the way I thought it should. That was my biggest mistake. Comparing myself to others. Well life happened. A lot of it. I gained 60 pounds and found myself at my starting surgery weight. Talk about feeling like a failure. I seemed to forget that I had weighed over 420 pounds at one point and felt like at 309 I looked like I was 450. The biggest challenge is my head and it can destroy me. If I let it. So in January of this year I made a promise to myself that I would start again but recognize how far I had come. And wow I have come a long way. This last 5 months have been eye opening. The weight is still slow coming off but I'm ok with that. This time I have learned so much about me, about the power of positive thinking, how to be happy and surrounding yourself with those who know your worth and share the same vision. I have ventured and am doing things I didn't think I would ever be able to do. Going places, having my own business, meeting new people are all things I would have never imagined doing 6 months ago. I guess my point is, if I can do it you can do it too. No matter what your journey is whether it be weight loss, a new business venture, getting out of a bad situation or making your life a better one, you can do it!!! Making small changes and repeating those small changes daily will get you where you want to be!! DREAM BIG!!!
