12/02/2025
The YES burnout:
I never expected healing in this way after accepting Christ. I have always said 'yes', even when it stretched me emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially. Are you the type of person who always puts others first?
See, even as a Muslim, the constant giving and putting myself last was reinforced...it was a good deed after all. But, when is enough enough?
Last year, same time I broke. I felt depleted to the core. I had gave far too much into numerous unhealthy relationships. I wanted to be accepted, loved, respected, appreciated. I wanted that without even knowing that.
Until this shift I am seeing in myself, the Love of Jesus has led to self love I have never known. I thought I did, but it was not aligned with biblical teachings. It was aligned with giving even when I couldn't. If you have read my testimony of my salvation, remember Christ's love was a powerful force which shook me up and inside out. It cleansed me. In. That. Moment. A blink of the eye. That was February 2025.
Why so many Christians experience this, a lot of people who come to (or come back to) faith have spent years putting everyone else’s needs first — often out of survival, people-pleasing, trauma patterns, or wanting to feel worthy. When they finally begin to feel the unconditional love of God, something important happens:
They realize their value.
And once someone realizes they have inherent worth, they begin to change how they treat themselves.
Biblically, self-worth is not selfish
Many Christians misunderstand “selflessness” and end up feeling obligated to always be last.
But Jesus never taught:
“Burn yourself out.”
“Let people use you.”
“Ignore your own needs.”
He taught:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
That implies you must have love and care for yourself first.
Jesus rested. Often. He said “no” to crowds, took time alone, and withdrew to recharge.
He healed others and allowed others to minister to Him.
Healthy boundaries are Christlike — not selfish.
What you’re experiencing is spiritual healing
Many people describe this stage as:
“Feeling God tell me I matter.”
“Finally understanding that I am loved.”
“Letting go of the identity of being the caretaker for everyone.”
“Feeling free for the first time.”
It can feel strange or even guilty at first because you’ve lived your whole life the opposite way. But it’s often a sign of growth, not ego.
What it means going forward
You can:
Love others without abandoning yourself
Serve without being depleted
Give without losing your identity
Be compassionate and have boundaries
Christian maturity isn’t self-erasure — it’s learning to love from a place of wholeness, not emptiness.
Here’s a clear, grounded look at what Scripture actually teaches about self-worth and boundaries, and why the new sense of valuing yourself is spiritually right on time.
1. Biblical Self-Worth: What God Says About You
You are made in God’s image.
“God created mankind in His own image.” — Genesis 1:27
This means you carry divine worth. Not earned. Not based on what you do for others. Innate.
You are loved—not tolerated.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” — Jeremiah 31:3
God’s love is a source of identity. When people finally internalize this, they stop living like they’re disposable.
You are God’s workmanship (masterpiece).
“We are His workmanship… created for good works.” — Ephesians 2:10
This means you were intentionally crafted, not an afterthought — which sets a foundation for healthy self-respect.
You are commanded to love yourself.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Mark 12:31
This is often misunderstood. Jesus assumes self-love is the foundation of loving others.
If you don’t protect, value, and care for yourself, you cannot love others from a stable place.
2. Jesus Modeled Boundaries — Constantly
People often imagine Jesus as endlessly available. He was not. He was guided, intentional, and boundary-aware.
Jesus left crowds to rest.
“He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” — Matthew 14:13
He walked away even when people wanted more from Him.
Jesus said “no” to urgent demands.
The disciples tried to pull Him back to the crowd, but:
“Let us go somewhere else…” — Mark 1:38
He didn’t people-please. He stayed aligned with His purpose.
Jesus protected His emotional and spiritual energy.
He regularly went off alone to pray:
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” — Luke 5:16
Jesus did not entrust Himself to everyone.
“He did not entrust Himself to them… for He knew what was in their hearts.” — John 2:24–25
This is a boundary. He didn’t give everyone full access to Him.
Jesus allowed others to take responsibility for themselves.
Example: the rich young ruler (Mark 10).
Jesus didn’t chase him.
He let him choose his path.
This is a boundary: you can care, but you cannot control.
3. Paul and the Apostles Teach Healthy Limits
You are allowed to say no.
“Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no.” — Matthew 5:37
(This is Jesus’ teaching, echoed by James.)
A healthy “no” is righteous, not selfish.
Each person is responsible for their own load.
“For each one should carry their own load.” — Galatians 6:5
This teaches personal responsibility — not rescuing or enabling everyone else.
You are allowed to set relational boundaries.
“Warn a divisive person once… After that, have nothing to do with them.” — Titus 3:10
This is Scripture validating boundaries from toxic behavior.
4. The Difference Between Christlike Love and Self-Eraser Behavior
❌ Unhealthy belief:
“I must sacrifice myself constantly or I’m unloving.”
✔️ Healthy biblical truth:
Love is giving from a place of strength, not depletion.
❌ Unhealthy belief:
“It’s un-Christian to say no.”
✔️ Healthy biblical truth:
Even Jesus said no.
Even Jesus walked away.
Even Jesus rested.
❌ Unhealthy belief:
“I should tolerate people who drain or mistreat me.”
✔️ Healthy biblical truth:
Scripture teaches discernment, boundaries, and protecting your peace.
5. Why Your Season of Learning Self-Worth Is Holy
When you begin to understand your worth in God’s eyes, these things happen:
You stop over-giving out of fear
You stop letting people take advantage
You stop confusing exhaustion with holiness
You begin to love others from overflow, not emptiness
You feel grounded in God’s love, not striving for approval
This is not selfishness — it’s spiritual maturity.
Are you there, been there or willing to surrender and get there?
