11/15/2025
👩🏼 Let’s Normalize Listening to Patients – Especially Women 👩🏼
This is a letter not just to providers in healthcare, but also to the patients. I think it is a pretty universal feeling to be worried when you go to the doctor that you may be looked at like you are crazy. Or, be told that “it’s all in your head.” But, is it?
‼️What is the deal?
Let’s kick off this opinion piece (is it an opinion piece??) with a few statistics. An online survey was done among approximately 1,174 American males 18 years or older. The Cleveland Clinic (1) found that 72% of men would rather do household chores, like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn, than go to the doctor. Even for the men who take their health more seriously, some are holding back: 20% of men admit they have not been completely honest with their doctor before. And, among the 20% of men who have not been completely honest with their doctor in the past, the top reasons why include:
- 46% reported they were embarrassed
- 36% said they didn’t want to hear that they needed to change their diet/lifestyle
- 37% indicated they knew something was wrong but weren’t ready to face the diagnosis and/or would rather not know if they have any health issues
Now, I am not saying in any way, shape, or form that this is a good study. It is just a survey I am using for conversation purposes. That being said, none of those reasons included being afraid of being called crazy.
Let’s look at a survey of women. Among more than 5,000 women aged 18 to 64 who participated in a women’s health survey:
- 29% of those who had seen a healthcare provider in the prior two years said that their doctor had dismissed their concerns.
- 19% said their doctor assumed something about them without asking
- 15% said that their provider did not believe them.
- 13% said that a healthcare provider had suggested they were personally to blame for a health problem they were experiencing.
- 9% reported experiencing discrimination based on their age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, or other personal characteristic. (2)
And, interestingly enough, 38% of respondents reported having at least one of these experiences, compared to just 32% of men. The 6% difference between men and women is not that large. But, the difference is apparently statistically significant.
⁉️ So, what do we do about it?
I think for providers we need to ask the question – Why? Why are women dismissed more often than men? Are we determining the outcome or cause before we talk to the individual? I can personally attest, as a woman, to multiple situations having healthcare decisions made for me before I even had a chance to enter the conversation. And, it makes me wonder how many women out there of all ages don’t even realize they aren’t being included in the conversation about their own healthcare like they should. Is it the approach the patient takes to the conversation? Are women less loud, or direct? Are they too passive in an effort to no come across as too loud, or direct? And, again, I am here trying not to blame women!
For the patients, the women out there, I think we need to stop being afraid of how we come across and more worried about what we want with our bodies. I will say that again – we, as women, need to be more concerned about what we want than how we are coming across to our medical providers. If you leave an appointment not feeling heard, and darn it you really tried, I believe it is time to find a provider that works better for YOU. There are many providers out there, and like any relationship, some will work better with you than others. Do you think maybe you could advocate for yourself better? Maybe it is high time you practice before you go to the doctor about what you will say and how you will say it. Feel like the appointment didn’t go as planned? Call for clarity, message them on MyChart, or go there and ask for another appointment or face to face clarity. You have a right to speak up for yourself.
Speak up louder so we can hear you from the back of the room! 😊
References:
1) Cleveland Clinic (2019) Cleveland Clinic Survey: Men will do Almost Anything to Avoid Going to the Doctor, Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic. Available at: https://newsroom.clevelandclinic.org/2019/09/04/cleveland-clinic-survey-men-will-do-almost-anything-to-avoid-going-to-the-doctor.
2) Gordon, D. (2023) Almost 50% Of Young Women Report Negative Healthcare Experiences, New Study Shows, Forbes. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/debgordon/2023/02/24/almost-50-of-young-women-report-negative-healthcare-experiences-new-study-shows/.
Heal today, transform tomorrow. Unlock your potential to heal, learn and grow. – Dr. Barb Wally, LLC
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https://drbarbwally.com/2025/10/14/written-lets-normalize-listening-to-patients-especially-women/
https://drbarbwally.com/2025/10/14/written-lets-normalize-listening-to-patients-especially-women/
Read to learn more about normalizing listening to female patients!
