Pivotal Behavior Solutions

04/26/2022

10/27/2021

Giving our kids plenty of attention is importing. We get that. We hear it all the time. But let’s work smarter, not harder. Let’s focus our efforts on giving high quality attention instead of feeling like we need to do more minutes of any attention at all. Who has more minutes to spare? Busy moms do not. We can however get creative in how we use those minutes to ensure we are doing short bursts of quality attention instead of dragging along all day with divided attention and a child who acts out trying to fight for our attention.

08/12/2021

You've gotten your kids' attention, given clear directions, and made sure they understand. Now they've got to follow those instructions.

1️⃣ Let your child choose as much as possible on their own. This gives more independence and control to your child. Use controlled choices- not just open-ended questions. Things like order to complete tasks, where to do your schoolwork, how you want to complete it, who you want to ask to do it with you.

2️⃣ Make it fun. We can make everyday activities and even school tasks more reinforcing- less awful to our kids- by making them more fun. We pair the unfun thing with something that is reinforcing (or fun) to your kids.
Easy ways to do this:
Use music. Play music or make up a song about the task at hand.
Make it a race. Race each other or race the timer. Can you get this done before the timer goes off?
And no matter what- lead by example with your attitude. If you’re trying to make it more fun, show that with your voice, facial expressions, and attitude. Cheer for the race. Sing the song like you’re on Broadway. If YOU are more fun, the task will be more fun, too.

3️⃣ Make is worth their while. Reserve all the best and most exciting privileges and activities for AFTER following mom’s instructions. Use a structured “First ____, then ___” statement to let your child know what is available after they follow directions. (👋 Premack Principle) Whatever your child is doing is more fun (more reinforcing) to them than stopping everything and listening to you. When you are struggling to get your kids to listen to you, use positive reinforcement to make it worth their while.

What are some ways that you make following instructions fun? Share in the comments!

07/22/2021

Dr Ross Greene is my favourite childcare author, we share the belief that in order to resolve difficult behaviour you must look for the underlying reason and work to fix it.

Without doing this - and instead focusing on punishing and rewards, you not only do the child a great disservice, but you also run the risk of making the behaviour worse.

07/16/2021

We all want our kids to actually listen to what we say and to actually do what we ask of them. Instructional control basically means a positive working relationship, earning your child’s respect, and building cooperation with your child. It means when you give an instruction, it is followed (most of the time at least). The 4 tips above can help and don't forget to make it fun with positivie reinforcement!

Have you been able to use these tips this week? Let me know in the comments! 👇 And save this post for quick reference when you need a review!

07/08/2021

Do you have patients with about to start or currently going through ? Autism Speaks created a toolkit to help families and clinicians navigate everything that comes with puberty: from body changes to staying safe.

Download the resource today at https://bit.ly/3gEEQF3

04/04/2021

💙

April is autism awareness month. Since I have two autistic boys, it’s my job to spread awareness every day, not just in April.

This is my son, Greyson, a couple of days after he was diagnosed with autism.

I want to tell that little boy- I’m so sorry I made your autism about ME. I thought when you didn’t listen to me, I was a bad parent. I lost my patience with you. I was mad at you for screaming, instead of using your words. I was sad that when we went to the playground- you didn’t want to play with other kids- you just tried to run as fast as you could, far from the playground. I was mad that you were picky about what you ate. Hurt you didn’t look up when I would come home and walk in the room.

And I am so sorry. Your autism isn’t about me. It’s about me supporting and celebrating you. You wanted to run in playgrounds and parking lots because it felt so good to you to run free like that. Your fun didn’t look like others fun. That must have been confusing for you. (Why are those kids playing on that stupid contraption when running is so fun?!) You screamed instead of using your words because you couldn’t talk. Not being able to talk is harder on you in ways a speaking individual could never understand. I know better now.

When you were three, I had so much to learn about parenting. I still do, because there’s nothing more important to me in the world than being yours and Parker’s mom, and I want to be good at it. Thank you for being patient with me. The truth is, you are absolute perfection, exactly the way you are. You teach me a new way of thinking and being.

Autism acceptance is often a process. And if we want the world to celebrate and accept our children- than we must too.

Turns out it’s not my boys that needed changing, it was me. ( )

03/10/2021

"We get excited to see him explore the world through his eyes because he looks at everything so differently," his mother said.

03/04/2021

Alex Smith beat leukemia and is headed to Penn State University, where she will join their student-run philanthropy organization, THON.