Guiding Gates Doula

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Guiding Gates Doula

Every single birth matters, and you deserve an experience where you're respected, safe, and informed. Serving Hampton Roads

Above all, you deserve to be trusted to know how to give birth.

03/28/2026

Naolí is a Mexican midwife, educator, speaker, inventor, creator, author, and anthropologist. She's also a huge inspiration in my doula career.

To learn more:
https://www.naoli-vinaver.com/

03/24/2026

🤔Why are we conditioned to believe that childbirth is a life-or-death event?

🤔Why are we so scared that we don't even afford ourselves the ability to choose anything beyond the preservation of life?

🤔Why do we believe that the destination/outcome is the only thing that matters?

While I won't deny that sometimes birth can be risky, it's definitely the exception. Yet, the narrative is as if we should all thank our lucky stars (and our very skilled OBs) for making it out alive.

Did women used to die from childbirth? Yes, but not as much as you think. The oldest recorded rate is about 170 per 10,000 (or 1.7% of women). We now have safe medicine, technology, and good old hand-washing...something that didn't exist in ye olden days. And thank goodness for that! Yet sometimes, it feels like we've gone backwards. What used to be a natural process has now become a medical event.

Do women still die from childbirth? Yes, it's less than 1%. And most deaths are treatable and preventable. Getting regular pregnancy care and labor support from a medical professional is one of the best things to help prevent these deaths.

No, I don't have the answers to those questions, and I'm not sure I'll live to see the day that the vast majority of women can choose more than just being alive.

https://www.campop.geog.cam.ac.uk/blog/2024/09/19/childbirth-in-the-past/

03/21/2026

For those of you who've lost a baby, it's not your fault. You're not alone. Your baby is real.

"It seems to me that you feel like you’re all alone there. You aren’t. There are women reading this right now who have tears in their eyes. There are women who have spent their days chanting daughter, daughter or son, son silently to themselves."

https://therumpus.net/2010/07/15/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-44-how-you-get-unstuck/

03/17/2026

I just don't know what to say about this new protocol for local doulas. It makes me feel like they're trying to control and silence us. But it mostly feels like they don't understand what our clients have confidently hired us to do. We aren't just employed strangers. We are deeply connected to our clients and are committed to looking out for their mental, physical, and emotional health.

Unlike many medical providers, we don't just strive for the bare minimum of an alive baby and mother. We strive for respect, joy, and safety in the process. This doesn't just happen overnight. The relationship grows over the course of months, long phone calls, sleepless nights, and intimate conversations with both parents.

❌I'm sorry, but nourishment is a human right and I refuse to ask for permission.

❌If my clients want oils to smell, you best believe I'm busting out my oils.

❌While my intention isn't to be flat-out adversarial, I'm hired (and trusted) by my clients to participate in their medical decisions. It seems that makes some hospitals uncomfortable.

❌Many hospital policies are not evidence-based. I say that with full confidence given the fact that I can produce unbiased sources that give my clients the full spectrum of their options, not just what the hospital prefers.

I cannot, in good conscience, blindly promote these policies if they go against my client's wishes and most especially, if she has other options that ARE evidence-based.

I will NEVER keep options away from my clients just so they can comply and I can remain on the hospital's good side. Sometimes, it ruffles feathers, and sometimes, it's a much needed reminder for providers to slow down and remember that they're dealing with a full grown patient who has feelings and deserves respect.

I value the experience and expertise of hospital providers and I wish they could say the same about me.

03/13/2026

Growing a baby takes a lot of iron. Many people are surprised by how common low iron can be during pregnancy, and how much it can affect energy, mood, and recovery.

I put together this quick guide to help explain the basics. It covers why iron matters, signs that your levels might be low, what your lab numbers mean, and simple ways to get more iron through food and supplements.

If you are pregnant and feeling extra tired, having headaches, or even craving ice, it may be worth looking at your iron levels.

03/11/2026

BIPOC, Spanish-speaking, and LGBTQ families in Hampton Roads, this one is for you!

Come out to meet culturally aligned prenatal and postpartum providers such as doulas, chiros, OBs, peds, and many more!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/bellies-birthworkers-tickets-1982590715199?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl

03/07/2026

Did you know that it was common for laboring women to drink beer during childbirth?

Back in 18th-century Europe and the US, when a woman found out she was pregnant, she would brew a very strong beer called groaning ale that would mature during the pregnancy.

Once she was in labor, she, the midwife, and the gossips (originally God-sibs) would drink the ale. During these times, women had no options for pain control in labor, so the beer would help them get through it. Some male doctors even complained of incompetent mothers during the birth due to drunkenness.

What was left of the sterile liquid was used to wash the newborn.

"Groaning time" would refer to the time a mother would prepare for labor, and other traditions included baking a groaning cake, pie, or bread, and making a groaning cheese.

I sure love it when my love for labor, beer, food, and odd history combine! 😁

03/04/2026

Math has never been my favorite subject, but this I do know. Numbers are often used to scare the bejesus out of pregnant women.

I'm sure you've heard the following:
"Your risk of stillbirth nearly doubles between 41 and 42 weeks."

Yikes, right? Who would be so careless as to refuse an induction at 41 weeks? I mean, a twofold/double/50% increase is a huge deal.

What they don't tell you is that at 41 weeks, the absolute risk is 1.66% and at 42 weeks, it doubles to 3.18%. That means it goes from nearly 2 to 3 babies out of 1,000 being stillborn. So yes, it is "double, " but likely not as big as you'd imagine.

It's a very low risk, but maybe those numbers don't sit well with you, and you would rather induce. Or maybe you tell yourself you're more likely to be one of the 997 who have a healthy baby and are willing to take the risk.

Neither choice is good nor bad, but HOW the numbers are presented and how they relate to YOUR specific situation (health, history, risk factors, preferences) matters greatly!

02/27/2026

Well, dang, there's nothing more to say.

www.facebook.com/kemi.johnson

02/23/2026

While we're talking about s*x...did you know there are so many similarities between birth and s*x?

🩷Intimate experience you only want to share with someone you love and trust
🩷Consent puts you in charge
🩷Tapping into your body to find the position that works
🩷Sweating, moaning, and deep breathing
🩷Surrender ends in release
🩷Some pain/discomfort is accepted for the feeling of pleasure
🩷Dim lights and a safe environment
🩷No audience (thank you very much)
🩷So much oxytocin!!

02/19/2026

Sometimes it's just gotta be a C-section.

Sometimes your water breaks on Saturday and you have measly contractions on Sunday and Monday. So, you do some exercises and work on breaking down mental barriers (aka cry it out) and you finally go to the hospital on Tuesday. You try your hardest to have the contractions pick up and stay but you end up needing just a touch of Cytotec. By Wednesday you realize that medication didn't do much to move labor along so you agree to some Pitocin. Finally, you see some progress!

Early morning Thursday, you recognize you have nothing left to give. You haven't slept in days, you're hooked up to so many wires that just wear you down, you've made countless decisions, and your baby just can't recover after the contractions. You are bone tired, overwhelmed, and just over it.

Sometimes it's been five days and you've done it all. There's only one thing left. You confidently decide to get a C-section. It was clear there was no other option. You feel relieved to not have to make so many decisions, to be off of those damn belly straps, excited you'll finally meet your stubborn baby. You tuck away the loss, the disappointment, and fears. You'll deal with that later.

But for now, you understand that sometimes it's gotta be a C-section. And you're ok with that.

Always, I will wait for you. While you're becoming a mother one incision at a time, I'm catching up on eating and thinking of you. I can't wait to meet your baby and tell you how proud I am of you.

02/14/2026

Amazing resource for Hampton Roads families!

Address

Hampton, VA
23665

Telephone

+17194286929

Website

http://guidinggatesdoula.com/

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