09/30/2025
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬. 𝐀 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐦 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲
We all know this but knowing this and really thinking about it and applying it are so far off when it comes to sports
First the definition of the word "sports coach"
A sports coach is a person whose job is to teach, train, and organize an individual or team to improve their skills and performance in a particular sport. They provide instruction on rules and tactics, motivate players, foster team spirit, ensure safety during training, and help athletes achieve their full potential.
MOTIVATE PLAYERS
FOSTER TEAM SPIRIT
HELP ATHLETES ACHIEVER THEIR FULL POTENTIAL.
These kids, student athletes or whichever word you prefer to use are young. Their brains are still developing along with their bodies. There are some things that we as coaches (and I include me because when I coached hockey looking back I failed at this as well) must realize.
Again, if you read this and tell yourself you don't do this most likely you do. Because it is HARD to find coaches that don't do this. You may not even realize it.
As coaches we must remember that these are the most instrumental times in their lives. We are part of the overall picture of molding them in to adults. We MUST remember this. The events and situations they encounter while school age will be in their brains forever. And almost certainly they will be done with that sport at any level by the age of 23. As coaches we must be able to see the forest through the trees. What we do, what we say and how we act towards our players affects them. What other teammates do will also affect them. Kids will be kids and no one is perfect but everyone can do better.
Communication and positivity are so very important. Yes it's ok to push them. Yes they need discipline and consequences. No on should argue that. But that's not what I talk about with what I am seeing working with athletes with QNRT.
I will try to explain this as well as I can. There are some things that are important here. Again this is a culmination of reflecting back on when I coached and with athletes I have worked with.
First of all even a little bit of caring can go a long way. Often times coaches don't realize. If you say that's not you then please read through this and make sure of it based on what I have seen.
These athletes want to be seen, appreciated, accepted and have fun MORE THAN ANYTHING. Of course they want to win, and who doesn't. But take any kid on a winning team that didn't really get a chance to contribute and I can almost guarantee that somewhere in their subconscious brain is a negative emotional pattern that can affect them for years. I know we can't please everyone and make everyone happy. If there are 9 players on the field and 16 players on the team then some aren't going to be happy. It's hard to avoid that in that situation. But take that a step further. How many of those 10 - 16 players are getting just a few personal words regularly from the coaches. When I say personal I mean one on one not to the entire team. That doesn't count. Things like "we appreciate you being here, keep up the hard work." Or just regularly telling them what they can work on to improve their chances. Instead what coaches do is brush them off because they are disposable. While really damaging their brains at the same time.
Tryouts can be damaging to their brains. Yes some will get cut, that happens. But what should happen is honesty and clarity from day one. An example I have heard several times is a team having a "tryout" and really just needing one player. It's simple, be clear from the beginning. "this tryout is for just one player. We are really just looking for a utility player" Then DEFINE what you mean by utility player. Let the potential players coming to your tryout know EXACTLY what you are looking for. By doing that don't set some of them up for a let down in what would have been an impossible situation for them. I have heard "we are open to all positions." But think about that. Are you really open for that? If you already have 2 players that you like at first base then are you really open to another one? And if so what message are you sending to your current 2 that play at first? Now once you get to the very elite level I know this changes. But hardly anyone reading this will fit into that category. And even then I have hard stories where those coaches need to read this as well.
Also when holding a tryout if you do cut anyone or if they choose to not play think about taking a few minutes to communicate with them. Simply "this is why you weren't picked" or "is there a reason you chose to not play." It should be about them and not you!! Too often ADULTS are more worried about their ego's than they are about making sure that the athlete comes out of the situation with reasoning. They don't have to like it, but they deserve some respect. Be an ADULT about it. Trust me, unfortunately I know this from making that mistake when I coached.
Remember, we must consider how it will affect all of them. Winning at what cost? It's great to win, I get it. But you know what's even better. Making sure they all have great experiences to learn how to work hard, grow, be positive and contribute and be mentally healthy as adults. These things both can and should happen on winning teams too. It's a competition and I am not a fan of the "participation" trophy mentality. It's a fine line and I get it. People can agree or disagree. But these are the things I am seeing that contribute to imbalanced brains.
If a coach really wants to coach and do it for the kids then do it for the kids.
I could say a lot more on this. Maybe a need to write a book about it. Because the issues with what I wrote above are a lot worse off than most people think.