Plum BHS

04/02/2026

RO-DBT Class Update
Assigned: April 1, 2026 | Due: April 8, 2026

Assignment: Radical Openness Worksheet 18.A - Being Assertive with an Open Mind: Flexible Mind PROVEs

This week we're practicing assertiveness that includes genuine openness by using the PROVEs skill to ask for what we need or say no while staying receptive.

Your task:
Find one situation this week where you need to ask for something or say no to a request, and practice using Flexible Mind PROVEs.

What you will be doing:

• Identify a situation where you need to be assertive
• Plan how to use each element of PROVEs
• Stay present and receptive during the interaction, even when uncomfortablepective
• Say present and receptive during the interaction, even when uncomfortable
• Notice your tendency to either be rigidly insistent or collapse completely
• Observe how combining assertiveness with openness changes the interaction
• Track whether you got your needs met while maintaining the relationship

The Flexible Mind PROVEs Skill:

P - Present your position clearly and directly
R - Receptive to their perspective, genuinely listening
O - Open to being wrong or missing something
V - Validate their experience, even if you disagree
E - Easy manner in body language, tone, and expression
s - Stay in the moment, don't dissociate or shut down

Key insight:
Overcontrol either insists rigidly with no flexibility or gives in completely to avoid conflict. True assertiveness with openness means stating your needs clearly AND remaining genuinely receptive. You can ask for what you want AND be willing to hear no. You can say no AND stay curious about their perspective.

Goal:
To learn that assertiveness can include "I might be wrong" or "Help me understand your view" while still clearly stating your position. You can be both strong in your request AND flexible in how you hold it.

Due: April 8
You have one week to practice being assertive with genuine openness.

Assertiveness isn't demanding. Openness isn't collapsing. PROVEs is how you hold both at once.

03/27/2026

DBT Class Update
Assigned March 26, 2026 | Due April 2, 2026

Assignment: Mindfulness Handout 5–5A - Writing a Narrative of Events

This week we're practicing one of the most powerful mindfulness skills in DBT — learning to see the difference between what actually happened and the story we tell about what happened.

Your task: Write a full account of a significant event, then strip it down to only the observable facts.

What you will be doing:
• Write a detailed, blow-by-blow narrative of a significant event — your environment, thoughts, feelings, and actions. Don't hold back. Let it be messy and emotional.
• Go back through and identify every statement that is a plain, observable fact — something a video camera could capture. Highlight those.
• Create a second version using only the facts. Cut every judgment, interpretation, and emotional label.
• Write a short reflection on what you noticed doing this — how did it feel to write the full version? What was it like to read just the facts?

Key insight: We mix facts and judgments constantly without realizing it. "She was being unreasonable" feels like a fact — but it's an interpretation. "She raised her voice and interrupted me three times" is a fact. Both versions of reality can exist, but knowing which is which changes everything. When we can observe without judgment, we create space to respond instead of react.

Due April 2. You have one week to practice seeing clearly.

Bring all three parts to class — your full narrative, your facts-only version, and your written reflection.

03/27/2026

RO DBT Class Update
Assigned: March 25, 2026 | Due: April 1, 2026

Assignment: Radical Openness Worksheet 17.B Kindness First and Foremost

This week we are practicing leading with kindness instead of criticism, correction, or judgment.

Your task: Catch yourself before the critical comment comes out and choose kindness as your first response.

What you will be doing:

• Notice situations where your automatic response is criticism or correction
• Pause before speaking and ask, “What would kindness look like right now?”
• Practice kindness first: warmth, understanding, appreciation, and compassion
• Notice the internal resistance when you choose kindness over being right
• Observe how others respond when you lead with kindness
• Track the difference between interactions that start with criticism versus kindness
• Notice situations where kindness alone was sufficient and correction was not needed

Key insight:
Overcontrol’s first impulse is evaluation and correction. Someone makes a mistake and you point it out. Someone shares something and you notice the flaw. Your corrections might be accurate, but leading with criticism creates distance and defensiveness.

Kindness first means pausing before the critical comment and asking, Is this the moment for correction or for kindness?

The goal is to recognize that people need to feel safe with you before they can hear hard truths. Kindness first does not mean never giving feedback. It means starting with warmth before correction. You can still address problems, but you lead with humanity.

Due: April 1
You have one week to practice choosing kindness over criticism.

When kindness is absent:

• Your “help” lands as criticism
• Your “honesty” lands as harshness
• Your “standards” land as judgment

03/27/2026

03/20/2026

DBT Class Update — Assigned March 19, 2026 | Due March 26, 2026
Homework Assignment: Distress Tolerance Worksheet 13 - Skills When the Crisis Is Addiction

This week we're applying specific DBT skills to manage addiction-related urges and build recovery strategies.

Your task: Identify your addiction triggers and urges, then apply the four addiction-specific skills: Burning Bridges, Alternate Rebellion, Clear Mind, and Community Reinforcement.

What you will work through:

• Identify specific addiction urges and their triggers (people, places, emotions, situations, times)
• Apply Burning Bridges to make using harder and recovery easier
• Use Alternate Rebellion to satisfy rebellion urges without using
• Practice Clear Mind to recognize addiction's seductive thoughts
• Implement Community Reinforcement to make sober life rewarding
• Create a concrete crisis plan for high-risk situations
• Build accountability and support structures for recovery

Key insight: Addiction hijacks your reward system and creates overwhelming urges. Generic skills help, but addiction-specific skills address unique recovery challenges: how addiction lies, environmental triggers, building a life worth staying sober for.

The goal is to build your personal toolkit for managing urges without using. These skills work alongside treatment and recovery programs, not as replacements.

Due March 26. You have one week to apply addiction-specific skills to your triggers and urges. Recovery isn't linear. Slips can happen. The skill is getting back to abstinence immediately without spiraling.

03/20/2026

Assigned March 18, 2026 | Due March 25, 2026
Homework Assignment: Radical Openness Worksheet 16.A - Flexible Mind REVEALs

This week we're practicing vulnerable self-disclosure using the REVEAL skill, letting safe people see parts of ourselves we usually hide.

Your task: Practice at least 2 to 3 REVEALs with different people and track what happens when you let someone see the real you.

What you will be doing:

• Identify moments when you could practice vulnerable self-disclosure but typically don't
• Use the REVEAL skill to plan and practice sharing authentically
• Choose what to reveal, to whom, and in what context
• Notice your body's response when you consider revealing versus when you actually do
• Track how others respond when you share vulnerably
• Observe what shifts in the relationship when you drop the managed exterior
• Compare your feared outcome with what actually happens

The REVEAL Skill:

R - Reveal something genuine (not just surface facts)
E - Express emotion (let your feelings show)
V - Validate yourself (acknowledge your experience is valid)
E - Eye contact and open body (don't hide physically)
A - Ask for support if needed
L - Listen to their response (stay present, don't take it back)

Key insight: Overcontrol's default is hiding. You show competence but not confusion. Strength but not struggle. The polished version but not the messy truth. This keeps you safe from judgment and profoundly alone. Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's the foundation of genuine connection. When you reveal something real, you invite people closer instead of keeping them at managed distance.

The goal is strategic vulnerability with people who've earned your trust. Not
oversharing with strangers, but letting safe people see your actual human experience, including the parts that feel shameful or imperfect.

Due March 25. You have one week to practice being genuinely seen. The carefully controlled version of you that never admits struggle creates distance. Appropriate vulnerability creates connection.

03/15/2026

https://www.plumbhs.org/mn-parenting-classes/

03/13/2026

DBT Class Update — Assigned March 12, 2026 | Due March 19, 2026

Assignment: Distress Tolerance Worksheet 14 - Planning for Dialectical Abstinence (Two Copies)

This week we're creating concrete plans for complete abstinence from problem behaviors, recognizing that for some behaviors, moderation doesn't work, and the only path is stopping entirely.

Your task: Complete the worksheet twice - once with a group-appropriate behavior to share in class, and once with your real target behavior for individual sessions.

What you will work through:
• Identify specific behaviors where abstinence (not moderation) is the goal

• Clarify why each behavior requires complete abstinence

• Plan concrete strategies for maintaining abstinence when urges hit

• Identify high-risk situations where you're most vulnerable

• Create a detailed relapse prevention plan

• Develop a "day after" plan for getting back on track if abstinence breaks

• Build accountability structures and support systems

Key insight: Some behaviors can be moderated. Others can't. Dialectical abstinence means committing 100% to never engaging in the behavior again AND planning for what to do when you slip, because slips happen. You hold both truths: total commitment AND radical acceptance that you might break it, paired with immediate recommitment.

The goal is realistic planning. What situations put you at the highest risk? What urges will show up? What skills will you use? Who will you call? What will you do the moment after a slip to prevent it from becoming a relapse?

Due March 19. You have one week to create both abstinence plans!

Remember: Bring your group-appropriate behavior worksheet to class. Keep your real target behavior worksheet private for individual therapy.

One slip doesn't have to become a relapse. The plan is what helps you get back on track immediately.

03/13/2026

RO-DBT Class Update
Assigned March 11, 2026 | Due March 18, 2026

Assignment: Radical Openness Worksheet 15.A - Recognizing Indirect Communication

This week we're catching ourselves when we hint, imply, or expect people to read our minds instead of saying what we actually need.

Your task: Identify moments when you communicate indirectly and explore what direct communication would look and sound like instead.

What you will be doing:

• Catch yourself hinting, implying, or beating around the bush

• Notice when you expect someone to read your mind or pick up on subtle cues

• Identify why you avoid direct communication (fear of rejection, seeming needy, being too much)

• Recognize how indirect communication creates confusion, resentment, and distance

• Explore what direct communication would sound like in each situation

• Track whether indirect communication gets you what you want or just leaves you frustrated

Key insight: Overcontrol communicates in code and expects everyone to have the decoder. You're upset but say “I'm fine.” You need help but make vague comments about being busy. You want connection but wait for them to initiate. This feels safer than direct communication because you can't be directly rejected if you don't directly ask. But indirect communication almost never gets you what you want.

The goal is to recognize your indirect patterns and understand what direct communication could make possible. Direct doesn't mean harsh. It means saying what you mean, asking for what you need, and expressing how you feel without expecting mind-reading.

Due March 18. You have one week to catch yourself communicating in code!

Indirect communication feels like protection. Direct communication feels like risk. But only one of them actually connects you to people and gets your needs met.