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02/05/2026

RO-DBT Class Homework Update
Assigned: February 4, 2026
Due: February 11, 2026

Assignment: Worksheet 11.B – Going Opposite to Fatalistic Mind

This week, we are challenging the voice that says “nothing will ever change” by acting as if change is possible.

Your task is to notice when fatalistic mind shows up and practice opposite action by behaving as though hope makes sense.

What you will be doing:
• Catch yourself in fatalistic thinking (for example: “what’s the point,” “nothing ever changes,” “this is just how I am”)
• Notice how fatalistic mind affects your behavior and keeps you stuck
• Ask yourself: “What would I do right now if I believed change was possible?”
• Do that thing, even if you do not believe it will work
• Record both the fatalistic thought and the opposite action you took
• Observe what happens when you act against hopelessness

Key insight:
Fatalistic mind is not wisdom. It is overcontrol’s way of protecting you from the risk of trying and failing again. When you believe nothing will change, you avoid the vulnerability of hope. That safety comes at a cost: you stop participating in your own life.

The goal is to act your way into a new way of thinking. You do not have to believe change is possible to behave as if it is. Sometimes the belief follows the behavior.

Going opposite to fatalistic mind is risky because it requires risking disappointment. Staying stuck, however, guarantees the very outcome you fear.

You have one week to practice going opposite to hopelessness. Start small. Fatalistic mind does not require grand gestures. One opposite action at a time.

02/02/2026

01/30/2026

DBT Class Update
Assigned: January 29, 2026 | Due: February 5, 2026
Assignment: Distress Tolerance Worksheet 2 Practicing the STOP Skill

This week we're learning to create space between impulse and action when crisis hits.

Your task: Practice using STOP (Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully) to interrupt impulsive reactions before they take over.

What you will work through:

• Identify situations where you felt an urge to act impulsively or destructively

• Practice stopping physically before reacting

• Take a step back mentally and emotionally from the situation

• Observe your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and urges without judgment

• Proceed mindfully by choosing your next move based on your goals, not just your feelings

• Record what happened when you paused versus when you didn't

Key insight:
Crisis moments shrink your world down to one option: DO SOMETHING NOW. The STOP skill interrupts that tunnel vision. It creates a pause, even a tiny one, between the urge and the action. In that pause, you have choices.

The goal is to prove to yourself that you CAN pause, that you CAN observe, that you DO have other options even when it doesn't feel like it. The power isn't in avoiding all impulsive actions forever. The power is in creating space.

Due: February 5 – You have one week to practice stopping before reacting. Even a one second pause counts. That pause is where your power lives.

01/30/2026

RO-DBT Class Update
Assigned: January 28, 2026 | Due: February 4, 2026
Assignment: Radical Openness Worksheet 11.A – Being Kind to Fixed Mind

This week we're practicing something counterintuitive: responding to rigidity with compassion instead of criticism.

Your task: Notice when fixed mind shows up and practice self-kindness instead of self-judgment.

What you will be doing:

• Catch yourself in fixed mind or rigid thinking patterns

• Notice the harsh, critical voice that often accompanies rigidity

• Practice self-compassion when you notice yourself being inflexible

• Ask: "What is this rigidity trying to protect me from?"

• Record both the fixed mind moment and your compassionate response

• Observe whether self-kindness makes flexibility easier or harder to access

Key insight:
Beating yourself up for being rigid just creates more rigidity. When you catch yourself in fixed mind and immediately attack yourself with thoughts like "I'm so inflexible, why can't I just be more open?", you’ve just layered more control on top of the original control.

The goal is to change your relationship with rigidity. Fixed mind isn’t your enemy it’s a protection strategy your nervous system developed because, at some point, being cautious and controlled kept you safe. Self compassion creates space for genuine flexibility, while self criticism just builds more walls.

Remember: Being kind to rigidity doesn’t mean giving up on growth. It means recognizing that shaming yourself will never lead to openness.

Due: February 4 – You have one week to practice being kind to fixed mind!

01/23/2026

DBT Class Homework Update — Assigned January 22, 2026 | Due January 29, 2026

Assignment: Distress Tolerance Worksheet 3 – Pros and Cons

This week we're slowing down between urge and action to make choices we won't regret later.

Your task: Identify a crisis urge you struggle with and systematically weigh the consequences of giving in versus resisting.

What you will work through:

• Pick a specific crisis behavior or impulse you're tempted to engage in

• List the pros (benefits) of giving in to the urge, even the uncomfortable truths

• List the cons (costs) of acting on that impulse

• List the pros (benefits) of resisting and tolerating the distress instead

• List the cons (costs) of not acting on the urge

• Look at the full picture across all four categories to make a wise mind choice

Key insight:
Crisis urges promise quick relief but often deliver long-term pain. Your brain in emotion mind wants what feels good now. This worksheet creates space between the impulse and the action. It forces you to see the whole truth: yes, the crisis behavior might feel good in the moment, but what happens after? And yes, tolerating distress is hard and has real costs, but what do you gain by riding it out?

The goal is to do this work before you're in full crisis mode. Fill it out when you're calm, then keep it accessible for when the urge hits. Seeing it all written out can shift you from:

"I need this right now"
to
"I can make a different choice."

Due: January 29. You have one week to map out your crisis urges and consequences.

Knowing the costs doesn't make the urge disappear, but it helps you choose differently.

01/22/2026

RO DBT Class Homework Update

Assigned: January 21, 2026
Due: January 28, 2026

Assignment: Worksheet 10.B – Flexible Mind Is DEEP + Eyebrow Wag Practice

This week, we’re working on flexible thinking and a surprisingly powerful facial expression that can help shift your nervous system.

Your task:
Complete Worksheet 10.B and practice eyebrow wags in various contexts throughout your week.

What you will be doing:

• Practice eyebrow wags in the mirror when you are tired, stressed, or in pain

• Use eyebrow wags during interactions with others

• Try eyebrow wagging at someone who appears grumpy

• Combine a closed-mouth smile with an eyebrow wag and notice what happens to your breathing

• Record your observations in your self-enquiry journal

Complete Worksheet 10.B, identifying situations where you shifted from rigid to flexible thinking

Key insight:
Overcontrol craves certainty and clings to rigid thinking, even when it creates suffering. Flexible thinking doesn’t mean abandoning your values—it means holding complexity and adapting when needed. The eyebrow wag is a universal signal that says, “I see you and I’m approachable.” When combined with a smile, it can change your breathing and soften your nervous system from the outside in.

The goal is to practice flexibility in both mind and body. When you can think flexibly and signal openness, you create space for connection, even during difficult moments.

You have until January 28 experiment with this!

Start with mirror practice. Notice any discomfort. Then take it into real interactions and observe what shifts.

01/22/2026

When I ask a question like this, I’m flooded with comments asking, “what is a healthy way to express anger?” Well, in general, it’s anything that doesn’t hurt you or someone else. If you’re still confused by that explanation, I would say you are not alone. There is a balance that can be hard to master.

Learning how to model emotional intelligence is one of the more complex and difficult challenges of parenting responsively. I think that is because we’re carving out a new path here. Most of us don’t have a prototype or a model for what that looks like. Many of us rarely see expressions of anger that don’t hurt others.

Do you enjoy my posts about parenting? This post made the cut for my latest book. It’s a concept I’ve never seen before and I’m excited to be the first content creator to do this. I’ve taken my posts and created a book. The book is visually appealing and easy to read, just like when we scroll online or read a book to our child. You can read one post or a whole section. I know I’m bias but it is a must have for all parents who enjoy this page. It is also a way to pass on the knowledge you have gained from this account, to someone else.

Title: Love Grows: A Collection of Works By J. Milburn

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