19/11/2025
I'm reposting from Rebecca Claiborne, a therapist in Hampton Virginia. It can be so difficult to honor our personal limits as we enter the holiday season.
"🌿Setting Boundaries This Holiday Season 🦃
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’m hearing the same question in therapy sessions over and over again:
“Is it okay if I… don’t?”
Don’t attend every gathering.
Don’t stay all night.
Don’t explain yourself to everyone who asks.
The answer is yes.
And it matters more than you think.
Boundaries are not about being difficult or punishing others—they’re about honest communication and protecting your mental health. When you’re clear about what you can and cannot do, you show up as your most grounded, regulated self.
Here are boundaries many clients are setting this year:
• “I’m only staying for two hours.”
• “I’m not discussing politics or my personal life.”
• “I need a 15-minute walk alone to recharge.”
• “I’m not hosting this year—I need a break.”
• “I’m declining events that don’t align with my energy or values.”
Why is boundary-setting during the holidays so hard?
• Family traditions can trigger guilt.
• “It’s only once a year…”
• Fear of disappointing loved ones.
• Cultural or religious expectations.
But here’s the truth:
You can love your family and need space.
You can be grateful and exhausted.
You can honor traditions and change them.
These are signs of healthy self-awareness, not selfishness.
✨ Practical Boundary Scripts
Try these:
• “I appreciate the invitation, but I won’t be able to make it this year.”
• “I’m planning to leave by 7pm to keep my routine intact.”
• “I’m not comfortable discussing that—let’s talk about something else.”
• “I need a few minutes of quiet. I’ll rejoin you shortly.”
No over-explaining.
No heavy apologizing.
No defending your needs.
To my fellow clinicians:
Your clients may need explicit permission to protect their wellbeing.
We can model that with clarity, compassion, and neutrality.
To everyone navigating the holidays:
If setting a boundary helps you show up more genuinely—even in smaller doses—that is a gift, not a problem.
What boundary are you setting this holiday season?"
