Making Connections Therapy & Consultation Services

Making Connections Therapy & Consultation Services A safe space filled with resources, inspiration, and knowledge on subjects that matter most.

Discover tools and ideas designed to spark growth, connection, and positive change.

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11/13/2025

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11/12/2025

Signs Of Human Trafficking Can Be Dangerously Subtle — Here's What To 👀Look For: bit.ly/htsignstospot (Some may find content explicit) | www.robinallardlmft.org

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11/11/2025

Everything you could possibly want to know about chiropractors: bit.ly/allaboutchiro | www.robinallardlmft.org

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11/10/2025

New research indicates high-rates of domestic abuse against men: bit.ly/mendomabusevictims | www.robinallardlmft.org

When science meets heart.As a therapist who has spent years specializing in couples work, I’ve always believed that rela...
11/07/2025

When science meets heart.

As a therapist who has spent years specializing in couples work, I’ve always believed that relationships deserve more than surface-level repair. They need depth, understanding, and tools that truly reach the emotional root.

My greatest professional passion has been integrating the transformative power of EMDR therapy with the wisdom of Attachment Theory, Emotion-Focused Theory, and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Over time, I developed an advanced EMDR-informed couples protocol that honors both partners’ inner worlds while keeping the integrity and fidelity of EMDR at its core.

This approach helps couples not only understand what is happening between them, but also why, and allows healing to occur at the emotional level, where the patterns were first formed. It’s been incredible to witness couples move from reactivity to connection, from protection to presence.

If you’ve ever felt like traditional talk therapy wasn’t quite enough to shift old patterns or truly create emotional safety, this kind of integrative work can be life-changing.

❤️ For those looking for a deeper, evidence-based way to heal and grow together, this is what I love to do. If you or someone you know is seeking support to reconnect and heal together, please reach out.

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11/07/2025

You may not know anything about somatic therapy, so how do you find a good somatic therapist? bit.ly/findsomatictherapy | www.robinallardlmft.org

How EMDR Strengthens Reflective Functioning and Deepens ConnectionReflective functioning is the ability to hold a curiou...
11/03/2025

How EMDR Strengthens Reflective Functioning and Deepens Connection

Reflective functioning is the ability to hold a curious, compassionate awareness of our own and others’ inner experiences, to mentalize, as attachment researchers Peter Fonagy and Mary Target described. It allows us to wonder about feelings and motives rather than react to them, to pause and reflect instead of assuming and defending.

When we are in a reflective state, we can see both our own mind and another’s mind at the same time. We notice what is happening inside us, the fear, the need, the protectiveness, and we also stay open to how someone else might be feeling. This capacity is at the heart of emotional regulation and secure relationships.

Trauma and the Loss of Reflection

Trauma can temporarily shut down our natural capacity to reflect. When our nervous system senses danger, the brain shifts from curiosity to protection. Thoughts and emotions can become rigid, and we begin to see the world through the lens of past pain: I’m unsafe. I’m not enough. I can’t trust anyone.

Instead of reflecting, we react. Instead of wondering, we assume. And even when the danger has passed, those old neural patterns may continue to shape how we see ourselves and others.

How EMDR Helps Restore Curiosity and Flexibility

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy helps the brain resume its natural integrative process. Through bilateral stimulation, the gentle back and forth rhythm that mirrors the brain’s natural processing in REM sleep, frozen memories begin to thaw. Emotions, sensations, and beliefs that were once stuck start to reorganize into adaptive understanding.

Often, clients describe spontaneous insights during EMDR: “I suddenly saw it differently,” or “I realized it wasn’t my fault.” These moments mark the reactivation of reflective functioning, the mind’s return to curiosity, compassion, and perspective.

Over time, EMDR does not just reduce distress from traumatic memories. It also strengthens everyday reflection, the ability to see oneself with gentleness, to pause before reacting, and to stay connected in relationships even during conflict.

Living Reflectively

A reflective stance changes how we parent, partner, and relate. We become less ruled by fear or shame, and more guided by understanding. We recognize missteps without collapsing into self criticism. We repair more easily, listen more deeply, and cultivate relationships that feel safe and alive.

Through EMDR and other attachment informed therapies, we rediscover what our nervous system always knew how to do, make sense of experience, integrate emotion, and stay connected to ourselves and others.

Reflective Healing in Practice

At Making Connections Therapy, I use EMDR and attachment based approaches to help clients rebuild this reflective capacity, to reconnect with curiosity, compassion, and trust after trauma. When reflection is restored, relationships deepen, and a gentler, more grounded sense of self emerges.

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Licensed In Vermont &
Jacksonville, VT
32205

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+18025050377

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