01/14/2026
When Philip and I became parents, we never envisioned having the conversations that we have had to have since our sweet John was born.
We are constantly being asked to consider whether we want to prioritize quantity of life, or quality of life. It is impossible to look at our baby and make such decisions.
This most recent admission, and devastating private family matters going on at the same time, put some things in perspective for me. We are almost daily required to make decisions for John that will directly affect his life. Some of these decisions have been sickening and unbearable. We live with fear, guilt, regret, and the constant wondering if we are doing enough for John, if there is something else that we and his doctors haven't thought of.
We continue to pray for a miracle, for our sweet John to live a long, happy, healthy life. But if the Lord chooses not to heal him in this life, the reality is that our very difficult lives will become progressively more difficult as this disease progresses.
Something that started to hit deeply this weekend was how fast time passes, and you don't get time back. This weekend we experienced something in our private life that made us realize that sometimes, you have to put up boundaries and just walk away to protect yourself and more importantly protect your children.
It is especially hard when it is family who don't spend the time to know our children and celebrate who they are: absolutely incredible, loving boys!
Or the inability of some to put aside differences and work through problems honestly, in order to have a relationship with our children.
We fear there might be a time, someday in the future, that some of these people will live with guilt and regret for not knowing our children, for not knowing John.
One thing that I know John knows, is how much his mama, daddy, and big brother love him. He knows how treasured he is in our family. He knows that he is perfect as he is, and we would choose him over and over and over again.
We want to acknowledge you all, this community that the Lord has given us. So many of you have spent hours praying for the Lord to spare John, praying for strength for us as we care for him, praying for the decisions that we have to make every day. You all have watched our children grow for almost two years, and helped us celebrate every single milestone, every single challenge that our John has overcome. Not only have you supported us financially, but also with daily encouragement and emotionally as well.
John will turn 2 years old in about 7 weeks. We are praying he gets many more years with us. As we step into this new year filled with new challenges along with the joys and celebrations, we want you all to know how much we love and appreciate you.