The Massage Beast

12/31/2025

“Healthy. Fit. Swollen Ankles? Here’s Why.”
by: Dr. Laura McKemie FMD, MMT

🌿 “But Laura, I’m Healthy — WTF Is Wrong With My Legs?!”

I was talking to a patient yesterday — 5’8”, 160 lbs., fit, active, healthy in her 40s, but she has severe ankle swelling with no history of injury. I said listen everyone needs help with their Lymphatics and MOST of the time its your lymph, diet and exercise.

Most people immediately look at the legs and think that’s where the problem starts. Spoiler: it almost never is.

Swelling, pain, inflammation, fatigue — even in healthy people — almost always traces back to flow, load, and regulation: specifically the lymphatic system, fascia, and how the body clears what it produces.

This is why I’m obsessed with it. Once you see how much depends on flow, you can’t unsee it. Nearly every chronic issue I treat comes back to these systems — and they’re almost always ignored.

💚 Takeaway:
Swelling in healthy legs is not a failure. It’s your body signaling upstream congestion. Treat the infrastructure, restore flow, and the body self-corrects.

12/27/2025

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Antibiotics

Cold & flu season is here!

As a functional medicine doctor, I focus on supporting your immune system and gut naturally.

Prescription Antibiotics: What They Really Do

Penicillins – amoxicillin, ampicillin, penicillin

Kill bacteria, but also good gut bacteria → diarrhea, yeast overgrowth.

Cephalosporins – cephalexin, cefuroxime, ceftriaxone

Broad microbiome disruption; diarrhea, nutrient absorption issues.

Macrolides – azithromycin, clarithromycin, erythromycin

Alter gut flora; nausea, inflammation.

Fluoroquinolones – ciprofloxacin, levofloxacin, moxifloxacin

Gut disruption, mitochondrial stress, tendon/nerve issues.

Tetracyclines – doxycycline, minocycline, tetracycline

Gut disruption; photosensitivity.

Aminoglycosides – gentamicin, amikacin, tobramycin

IV only; kidney & ear toxicity.

Sulfonamides / Trimethoprim – sulfamethoxazole/trimethoprim

Block bacterial folic acid → gut flora disruption.

Sources: Merck Manuals, NCBI

What is the flu vaccine do?

Flu Vaccine: The Facts

Helps with: Training your immune system for specific flu strains; may reduce severity or duration of illness.

Doesn’t: Protect against all viruses or guarantee you won’t get sick.

Important: Some people (including those with sensitive immune systems) can have strong inflammatory reactions. Make your own informed choice.

Sources: CDC, Mayo Clinic

🌿 HOMEOPATHIC & FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE SUPPORT 🌿

Golden Seal Root (Berberine) – Antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory | 500 mg capsule 2–3×/day | 3–5 days at first sign

Clove – Antimicrobial, antiviral | Steam inhalation 2–3 drops EO, 5–10 min 1–2×/day; tea 1–2 cloves in hot water 1–2×/day

Dandelion Root – Liver & gut support | 1 cup tea, 1–2×/day

Lavender (EO) – Antimicrobial, calming, sinus support | 3–5 drops in diffuser 15–20 min 1–2×/day; inhale from tissue 1–2×/day

Eucalyptus (EO) – Respiratory support | 3–5 drops in diffuser or steam 15–20 min 1–2×/day

Peppermint (EO) – Clears sinuses | 3 drops on tissue for inhalation 1–2×/day; optional diffuser 15 min

Colloidal Silver (Nasal Spray) – Antimicrobial | 1–2 sprays per nostril, 3–4×/day (max 3–5 days) ⚠️ Do not ingest

Hot Toddy – 1 cup hot water, juice of 1 lemon, ½ teaspoon cinnamon, 1 shot whiskey, 2–3 tablespoons honey, pinch of salt

Chicken Soup – Hydration, immune support | As needed

Echinacea – Immune-stimulating | Tea 1–2 tsp dried root in hot water 2×/day

Astragalus – Immune support | Tea 1–2 tsp dried root in hot water 1–2×/day

Andrographis – Antiviral, antibacterial | Tea 1–2 tsp dried herb or tincture, 2–3×/day

Zinc (lozenges or syrup) – Antiviral | 15–25 mg lozenge every 2–3 hours for up to 5 days

Vitamin C – Antioxidant | 1–2 g every 4–6 hours, 3–5 days

Garlic – Antimicrobial | 1–2 cloves raw or in capsules 2–3×/day

Oregano Oil – Potent antimicrobial | 1–2 drops in water or capsule 2×/day; diffuse 2–3 drops EO

Thyme (EO or Tea) – Antimicrobial, respiratory support | Tea 1–2 tsp dried herb in hot water, 2×/day; EO 2–3 drops in steam inhalation

Sage – Antimicrobial, soothing for throat | Tea 1–2 tsp dried leaves in hot water 1–2×/day; or gargle with warm tea

Chamomile – Anti-inflammatory, calming | Tea 1–2 tsp dried flowers in hot water 1–3×/day; steam inhalation 2–3×/day

Elderberry (Sambucus nigra) – Antiviral, immune-stimulating | Syrup or capsules, 1 tsp syrup 2–3×/day

Ginger – Anti-inflammatory, mild antimicrobial | Tea or fresh 1–2 tsp grated ginger in hot water 1–3×/day

Licorice Root – Antiviral, soothing | Tea 1–2 tsp dried root in hot water 1–2×/day

Foot Soaks / Socks Therapy – Circulation, immune support | Hot foot soak 10–15 min with Epsom salts; dry and put on warm socks

Nasal Irrigation (Neti Pot or Naväge) – Clears sinuses, reduces congestion | Use saline solution as directed

Occlusion Patch / Wraps / Poultices (e.g., hot mustard) – Localized warmth, circulation, immune support | Apply 10–15 min as needed

Sources: NCBI, CDC, Merck Manuals, Medical Medium, functional medicine references

12/23/2025

💥 GUT DRAMA? LACTOFERRIN TO THE RESCUE 💥

Are you and your stomach always at odds and can't get along?
Bloating. Gas. Burping. Bad breath. Reflux. Food reactions.

Your gut isn’t being dramatic — it’s reacting to everyday life:

* Shallow or stressed breathing
* Sitting at a desk or in traffic for hours
* Running, standing, or exercising right after meals
* Chronic stress repeated all day
* Long-term antacid / Pepcid / PPI use

HOW LACTOFERRIN HELPS
* Binds excess iron so bad bacteria and yeast can’t thrive
* Supports gut lining repair
* Breaks down stubborn biofilms
* Calms immune overreaction
* Balances gut microbes instead of masking symptoms

HOW TO USE IT
* Start 100–200 mg once daily
* Typical support: 250–300 mg once or twice daily
* More stressed guts: up to 500 mg twice daily
* Take between meals

WEANING OFF ANTACIDS
* Reduce slowly over 1–2 weeks
* Support digestion naturally with betaine HCl or apple cider vinegar
* Track meals, symptoms, and triggers
* Avoid stopping cold to prevent rebound acid

EXTRA GUT SUPPORT
* Slow, diaphragmatic breathing
* Gentle movement after meals
* Focus on functional and homeopathic strategies

HELP YOUR BODY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN
Stop fighting your gut. Start supporting it.
Lactoferrin calms inflammation, balances microbes, and restores digestion.
Combine with slow breathing, gentle movement, and tapering antacids — and your body finally chills.

12/22/2025

RESOLUTIONS ARE B🅄🅻🅻🅂🅷🅸🅃!!!

Y'all The words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. Was having this conversation about resolutions the other day, one of my friends was freaking out because she’d gained five pounds over the holidays.

I hollered,

“RESOLUTIONS ARE 🅱️🅄🅻🅻🅂🅷🅸🅃!”

She stared at me, made a weird noise then busted out laughing, popped out of her chair, hugged the hell out of me, then smacked me with a hard kiss right on my forehead. We were laughing and hugging so hard I about peed my pants.

My girl was crying and said, “I love you so much! I’ve just been feeling like such a loser over the holidays, eating all this junk.” My heart broke for her, I wiped her tears and we both cracked up laughing and hugged it out.

That moment sparked a conversation about why to me resolutions aren’t sustainable—and why it’s okay.

Everyone’s asking me, “What’s your 2026 resolution?

Forget that noise...Resolutions don’t change your life. How many people do you know who maintain and really keep resolutions permanently?

They don’t build endurance. They don’t tune your frequency. This is about alignment, sustainability, and staying in your lane.

Most people don’t even know their rhythm anymore. Their radio is scrambled. Signal hijacked. Everyone else’s noise jumping their dial nonstop. No wonder you’re exhausted. No wonder you can’t hear yourself.

Drift on someone else’s current long enough and suddenly you’re in a riptide you can’t get out of. Stay in your own lane.

If I could write a recommendation for 2026
…it would be this:

⚡ Unplug – Turn down the noise. Step off the chaos. Protect your energy and learn how to get quiet and be still.

🔥 Face the pain – Sit in discomfort. Growth, clarity, and strength live here.

✂ Cut ties with Fear and false potential –Drop it and Let it go. The race is long; don’t carry dead weight.

🙏 Accountability – With yourself. With God. No excuses. No hiding. Discipline and integrity keep you on course.

Sometimes you have to turn the station off completely. Slow down. Get quiet. Rebuild your signal from scratch.

Your own rhythm.
Your own lane.
I can’t stress this enough—focus on yourself.

I’m not handing you another pill that destroys your liver or gives a quick fix that's a false positive.

I’m here to show you how to regulate your energy, your nervous system, and your life.

2026 is about sustainable endurance, not short-term sprinting.

Stay in your lane.
Reclaim your station.

Merry Christmas and here's to an amazing 2026 of Love.

Love ya Beasties!

Laura

12/21/2025

12/16/2025

Your Tongue Is Holding You Back. Literally. 👅🔥

Yes — I do tongue pulling.
Yes — it works.
Yes — it’s one of the most underutilized tools for fascia, TMJ, and nervous system release.

Your tongue is fascial, neurological, emotional, and structural. It connects to your jaw, neck, skull, vagus nerve, and even your pelvic floor. When it’s restricted, it creates:

Jaw tension & TMJ pain

Tongue twists & soft palate injuries

Headaches, neck tightness, and posture issues

Emotional holding patterns you didn’t even know were stored in your mouth

This happens in everyone. Women tend to experience it more often because:

Hormones like estrogen affect fascia elasticity

Jaw and airway structure can make restrictions more noticeable

Chronic tension patterns often accumulate in the face, jaw, and throat

And women are more likely to seek help for TMJ, headaches, or posture issues

But this is intense, intimate therapy — it’s not casual. It takes:

Vulnerability

Trust as it evokes a deep release that can be very intense

An environment where your body can finally relax and feel safe, even if you don’t know how to relax yet

This isn’t gimmicks or DIY TikTok tricks. This is clinical, precision fascia work that frees your body from the inside out.

I assess. I treat. I guide.
TMJ. Tongue restriction. Facial injury and reconstruction Broken jaws, Soft palate injuries. Fascial tension. Nervous system locks. I do it all.

If your head, jaw, or nervous system feels “stuck”…
Your tongue might be the missing key. 🔑

12/15/2025

The more I deep dive into hormones the more I learn and this is something I did not know.

12/14/2025

✨ Your body Is Frequency.

Chaos creates disease. Peace creates repair.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Get back to God's frequency.
Your health depends on it.

With all my Love,

Your Body

Homeopathic Doctor | 20+ yrs Root cause medicine, Medical Massage Trauma Therapist specializing in Lymphatics, Rehab, Oncology, Fascia Remodeling, Central Nervous Reset, Regenerative Care.

12/12/2025

Folate: The Nutrient Your Body Actually Needs

Your body is smart. It knows how to detox, balance hormones, repair DNA, and keep inflammation in check. Most of the time, it just needs the right kind of folate to do its job.

Synthetic folic acid (in fortified foods and some prenatals) isn’t the same as natural folate. Your body has to convert it into a usable form—and some people, especially those with MTHFR mutations, do this very slowly or not efficiently at all.

When folic acid builds up in your bloodstream, it can block real folate from getting into your cells. That slows detox, hormone balance, and DNA repair—even if your blood tests look normal.

How to Support Your Folate Pathways

✅ Choose methylated folate (5-MTHF) instead of synthetic folic acid
✅ Eat folate-rich whole foods: leafy greens, beans, liver, and vegetables
✅ Support methylation and detox with B12, antioxidants, and liver-friendly nutrition

By giving your body folate it can actually use, you’re letting your natural intelligence do its job: heal, detox, balance hormones, and thrive.