10/01/2025
There is about a month and a half between these two photos.
In the first, I was feeling on top of the world. I felt like I was in better health than I had been in ever in my life, and could take on anything.
In the second, I was three weeks into an autoimmune flare with scary, serious new symptoms that I had never experienced before. I was trying to smile through it, but I was in constant pain, had a low grade fever, covered in a rash, and a few days after this my jaw would lock up, keeping me from eating any solid food or even truly smiling for about three days.
It’s a reminder of the fact that things can change in the blink of an eye.
But it’s also a reminder of resilience.
Resilience to be able to adapt to changing circumstances. To be able to keep looking ahead and moving towards the light, even when the darkness is all around you.
This doesn’t mean that we ignore our fear or our grief. Quite the contrary. True resilience requires you to feel it, to sit with it until you’ve learned what you need to learn. Then, and only then, you can start moving forward.
I’ve been to urgent care, my chiropractor twice, and my doctor once so far. I’m having a lot of tests ran to see if we can figure out what the heck is going on with me.
But I already understand autoimmunity. I understand that no matter what the specific disease is, that I need to calm the root of the issue - which is my immune system. I need to calm inflammation and focus on gut health.
I’ve done this once, and I will do it again - because I refuse to live a life that’s less than what I’m capable of.
