06/09/2020
When I was 12, my mom and I were watching the news. An adoption feature for two black young men came up. Somehow, my mom and I knew instantly that we wanted to invite them into our family. No question.
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The twins, Ranell and Danell, are medically fragile. We later adopted two more medically fragile boys, Angel (who is Latino), and Danny (who is white). I have a biological sister with special needs as well. So, my sisters and I paired with a sibling, our “care buddies”, to help my parents with the efforts in caring for everyone each day.
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My buddy was Danell. I fed him each day, provided medication, packed his lunch for school, helped him hold a baseball bat at little league, tucked him in (he LOVED getting snuggled in blankets), and held him so he could “swim” in the pool.
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When I would hear racist comments being made about him and Ranell, I was baffled. Why would anyone hate them? They did nothing to deserve these comments. And, due to their conditions, they could not speak to defend themselves. How dare you insult someone at all? How dare you insult someone who can’t even talk? It’s cowardice, it’s malicious, and it’s wrong. But is calling someone out at the dinner table enough?
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On this day in March 2020, Danell passed away at the age of 26. I was and am still devastated by this loss. I miss him dearly. My brother, my friend, my joy.
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I know I’ve done a good job loving my siblings, but the time is overdue to extend that love far and wide. Not just in sentiment but in action. Speaking up at the dinner table helps, but that alone is not enough. How can I care for the people around me with the same amount of love and compassion I gave Danell?
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Furthermore, is not the life of your fellow human more important? Shouldn’t our BASELINE for how we treat each other be led by love, understanding and advocacy?
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If extending this love means I lose followers and clients, good. If wanting to grow and change my perspective loses followers and clients, good. But I do hope you’ll join me in this journey of growth and action. I hope to grow with you, deepen my understanding with you, and stand with you. I will never apologize for that.
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(Cont. in comme