the Wholistic Life Coach

04/14/2022

♥️ You go first.

Is there an area in your life that you have been waiting to see change? Have you been hoping or expecting someone else or a situation to change in order for you to feel better?

What you have to realize is that manifesting change is not a spectator sport. And the fastest way to see change is for you to go first and start doing the work.

Whether your goal is to feel more connected to others, or feel more empowered and trust that you have your own back, it all starts with you going first.

It involves examining your thought patterns and beliefs, getting rid of that which no longer serves you, and reprogramming your thoughts and actions to be aligned with the outcome you want.

This process is especially difficult to do on your own. It involves working through some discomfort, and it is human nature to avoid pain.

As a life coach, I help you develop the tools and techniques to be able to go first and do the hard work. Clients learn to go first for their relationships, families, work place, themselves, and anywhere else they want to see change brought in.

I work with clients to:

🕵🏽 Connect the dots between past experiences/emotions and their current patterns.

💡Discover what they want/value, and how to normalize their nervous system to accept it.

🧠 Set and honor healthy boundaries.

❤️ Examine limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behavior, and the ability to receive love from others.

⚡️ Release negative trapped emotions through energy work.

🔨 Rebuild self-confidence, self-trust, and self-respect.

Are you ready to go first and start working on manifesting change in your life?

Schedule a free consultation at https://wholisticlifecoachlv.com/

03/28/2022

Happy Monday!

03/27/2022

“What’s wrong with me?…

…is the question a woman asks herself again and again. We feel alone in our suffering. Because other women don’t talk about theirs. Because they are ashamed, too. Because they “should” be happy-their lives are “so good”. Which confirms our worst fears, that something is wrong with us”. Valerie Reid, PhD

Hear me out… we are incapable of untying the knot that we can’t see, until we make visible the web (patterns, limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behavior) of knots that are holding us down and holding us back.

For me, the question of “what’s wrong with me?”, always dealt with the areas of my life I was too afraid to truly look at because it would “inform” me of what I already knew… some form or version of being broken beyond repair. The good news: I stopped believing that sh*t and started believing in myself. 1000% worth the work, discomfort, and magic that has been part of the journey!

It is time to break out of the prison of all that is keeping you stuck. Join the sisterhood of jail breakers!

Ready for freedom from shame, patterns, and feeling wrong? let’s talk.

📸: me, in Colombia, South America

(excerpt taken from Patriarchy Stress Disorder)

01/10/2022

Sometimes what healing from your past means is to start interrupting the pattern of always believing everything your brain offers as a fact.

Random example, say most of your life consisted of living in the woods with a family of bears constantly chasing you or trying to attack you as you tried to do your everyday life stuff find food, bath, or visit your neighbors. Chances are, when one day you move to the city, your brain might habitually keep telling you to be on guard and in fear of “bears,” even though there is a little to zero chance you might run into one.

The same goes with living a large part of your life in survival mode, feeling like a victim, or being in constant fear and anxiety of being hurt or rejected in your relationships. The one thing that follows you from one situation to a completely different one is your brain and its thinking patterns.

You may actually be safe, but your brain keeps telling you otherwise… such as in your relationships, work, financially, or even recognizing your self-worth.

Building the muscle of healing from your past and all the current patterns that show up with a dysregulated nervous system includes:
1st) Awareness of pattern
2) Interrupt of the pattern (not always believing every thought your brain provides as true or a fact)
3) Consciously deciding what thoughts you want to believe, and
4) Utilizing the process of checking in with yourself to determine if the new thoughts align with what your brain and body can believe at that time.

Are you struggling to figure this part out? I help my client successfully walk through this process and implement in their lives.

My Approach:
📊 Root-Cause Coaching: Connecting the dots between your past experience & emotion and your current patterns.

💡Creating Awareness & Clarity: discovering what you want, what you value, and what you are responsible for.

🧠Thought-work/Mindset: Aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions to create the results you want. Helping you set and honor healthy boundaries.

❤️ Cultivating Self-Love: Examining your beliefs around self-worth, acceptance, and the ability to receive love from others.

10/25/2021

My Coaching Process

Root-Cause Coaching:
Connecting the dots between your past experience/emotion and your current patterns.

Creating Awareness & Clarity:
Discovering what you want, what you value, and what you are responsible for.

Thought-Work/Mindset:
Aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions to create the results you want.

Cultivating Self-Love:
Examining your beliefs around self-worth, acceptance, and the ability to receive love from others.

10/22/2021

We are the beautiful masterpiece created from our thoughts.

Each time we choose a thought that alters the path that seems like our past... we interrupt our patterns.

Every time we interrupt that pattern, we stop losing power. We stop losing ourselves. We stop losing our purpose. We stop losing faith in what we are capable of being.

We find our magic on our unexpected journey.

Because we are magic!

We venture into a journey of finding ourselves... the road less traveled.

The journey of a lifetime.

10/12/2021

Trick or Treat! Let's talk about…. Emotional Vampires 🧛‍♀️

You might actually be familiar with interacting with an emotional vampire based on how you feel after an interaction with them, but not have known there was a name for this type of person in your life.

An emotional vampire is someone who has the tendency to drain your emotional energy or leave you with the feeling of having sucked the life out of you after interacting with them. Often you may begin to experience dread or worry when thinking about spending time with this person again. Emotional vampires can be family members, coworkers, spouses, or friends. Still, the central theme of the relationship is a feeling of drained of personal power or emotional energy due to allowing interactions to continue unchecked. And... sometimes, WE may be showing up as an emotional vampire ourselves.

4 Types of Emotional Vampires:
🧛 The Victim:
The victim views the world or situations out of their control and as if everything is against them, leading to their constant unhappiness. Often we may find ourselves in the continuous role of offering a solution or trying to fix their problems. These attempts are usually met with more reasons why they are powerless to change what is "happening to them". Eventually, you may end up in the dynamic of wanting to help but feel overwhelmed by their constant state of victimization.

🧛 The Narcissist:
To a narcissist, the most significant person in their life is themselves, and everything orbits around them. They tend to drain your energy due to needing to overfeed on your energy to fuel themselves and their ego.

🧛 The Controller:
Due to their need to obsessively seek/attempt to control you, there can be a significant strain on the relationship that makes you feel you are constantly battling to feel heard, seen, or respected. The controller is always looking for ways to direct how you "should" be feeling, acting, and thinking and control you by invalidating your emotions... leaving you feeling exhausted.

🧛 The drama seeker:
Drama seekers often flood you with minor situations and circumstances that they view as overwhelming and potentially unmanageable. Every interaction can feel like the catastrophe is around the next corner. They feel out of control and take you on their rollercoaster ride. They constantly need attention or circumstances to be tailored to them because life is continually overwhelming; however, you usually find that they don't want to get off the toxic ride.

Usually, at the root of an emotional vampire is a self-esteem issue. Whenever you feel emotionally drained after talking, working, or socializing with someone, that should raise a red flag. Also, keep an eye on yourself and how you show up with others.

How to protect yourself:
🎃 Set boundaries
🎃Determine what limits you want to set with others, especially emotionally.
🎃Don't take it personally, but don't just hand your energy to anyone.
🎃Determine what lessons you can learn from these interactions
👻Ex: What is it about this situation that makes me lose personal power? Am I not willing to speak up? Do I allow my boundaries to be cross? Is this a relationship that needs more space and less of me in it?

Do you find yourself falling into this pattern? Let's talk... I can help.

05/27/2021

Ladies... can I get a hell yes 🙌

It’s been a tough past year... have compassion with yourself however you are showing up. You are worthy regardless of any circumstance ♥️

05/22/2021

You matter... your journey matter... your dreams matter! Don't stop.

05/22/2021

Self-Care = Fuel

05/22/2021

05/01/2021

Do you know the FOUR warning signs that your relationship is headed towards disaster?

According to Dr. Gottman's book, the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, there are 4 key signs that when left unchecked in a relationship, can be extremely damaging... if not end the relationship altogether.

"Usually these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a relationship in the following order: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling" (Gottman).

1) Criticism is a direct attack of expressing negative feelings toward someone's character or personality. This shows up as anger, disappointment, or rejection of who the other person IS. Criticism is different from a complaint in which there is displeasure with behavior or situation.

"Two very common forms of criticism are statements that contain "you always" or you never" (Gottman). Another statement to stay away from is, "What is wrong with you?"

2) Contempt is a feeling of superiority over the other partner. Common ways that contempt shows up is through the use of sarcasm, eye-rolling, cynicism, hostile humor, and name-calling. Bottom-line contempt primarily communicates disgust and disrespect towards one's partner. Most often, the partner showing contempt would not ever display this behavior with someone they respect, such as a boss, co-worker, or friend... possibly only with someone they felt was beneath them.

3). Defensiveness within a relationship communicated that "the problem isn't with me, it's with you" (Gottman). This slows any attempt that either partner may take to come to an understanding or apology. The more one partner feels called to defend themselves or their acts, the slower it is to find common ground.

4) Stonewalling is the act of displaying that the stonewaller could care less about what the other person is saying or what is going on with the other person. They "tend to look away or down without uttering a sound and sits like an impassive stone wall". (Gottman). By avoiding fights, the partner that stonewalls also ends up avoiding the relationship or potential growth with the partner.

Do you notice any of these creeping into your relationships? I work with my clients specifically on these areas. The most beautiful thing that I have found in my work with my clients is that it only takes one person in the relationship to change things for the better. Is that person you? Are you going to be the one that invests in changing your relationships for the better?

Contact via messenger or email WholisticLifeCoachLV@gmail.com