Midlife Midwife Functional Health

02/20/2026

✨ WE’RE NOMINATED! ✨

I’m beyond honored to share that Midlife Midwife Functional Health has been nominated for Best Holistic Health Practice in the 2026 Best of Loudoun awards.

This isn’t just a nomination.
It’s a reflection of every woman who refused to accept “your labs are normal.”
Every woman who chose root-cause healing over quick fixes.
Every woman who trusted us with her hormones, her energy, her sleep, her story.

If you’ve ever felt heard here… supported here… empowered here…

Would you take 30 seconds to vote for us?

🗳 Voting is open February 20 – March 3
✔ You can vote once per day

Here’s how:

1️⃣ Click the link:
https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g
https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g
https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g

2️⃣ Go to the Body & Soul group in Holistic Health Practice category
3️⃣ Find Midlife Midwife Functional Health under Best Holistic Health Practice
4️⃣ Click our name and submit your vote

Every single vote helps us reach the Top 5.

Thank you for being part of this community and believing in a better way to care for women in midlife. 💛

https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g
https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g
https://ogden.revfluent.com/bestof/og/364yx2z5j1/oxnxg2lo7g

02/20/2026

02/20/2026

Here’s what most people don’t know:
Lab reference ranges are statistical averages, not optimal levels.

They’re based on the average population getting tested…
And the average person getting labs drawn isn’t vibrant, they’re tired, stressed, inflamed, and already struggling.

So when your:

• Ferritin is 15 (you’re told it’s fine, but you can’t get off the couch)
• TSH is 4.0 (you’re told it’s normal, but your hair is thinning)
• Insulin is 18 (you’re told it’s in range, but the weight won’t budge)

You’re not crazy.
You’re just being measured against the wrong standard.

In functional medicine, we don’t look for disease.
We look for dysfunction before it becomes disease.

That’s why I created my Optimal Labs Guide, the exact ranges I use with private patients to restore:

✔ Energy
✔ Metabolic flexibility
✔ Thyroid function
✔ Hormone balance
✔ Immune resilience

Inside you’ll see the difference between:
“Reference range” vs. “Optimal range”
So you can walk into your next appointment informed, confident, and empowered.

If you’re ready to stop settling for “fine” and start aiming for vitality

Comment OPTIMAL and I’ll send it to you.

Because average health was never the goal.

02/19/2026

Tonight’s the night 💛

Beyond the Detox: A Plan That Sticks for 2026

If you’re tired of starting over every Monday…
If you’re done with quick fixes that don’t actually fix anything…

This free functional medicine session is for you.

We’re moving beyond restriction — and into real, sustainable health.

🗓 Tonight
⏰ 6:30 PM EST
📍 Midlife Midwife Functional Health

Come ready to learn. Leave with a plan that actually lasts.

02/16/2026

Beyond the Detox: A Plan That Sticks for 2026
https://webinar.midlifemidwifefh.com/beyond-the-detox
with Donna Kaplan Figueroa

02/16/2026

Beyond the Detox:
A plan that sticks for 2026
A free functional medicine–based session designed to help you move beyond short-term resets and build a sustainable, realistic plan for long-term health.

Date: Thursday, February 19, 2026
Time: 6:30 PM EST
Location: Midlife Midwife Functional Health

Inside The Body, Birth, and Baby Center, 821 S. King St, Suite B, Leesburg

Register here: https://webinar.midlifemidwifefh.com/beyond-the-detox
with Donna Kaplan Figueroa

02/15/2026

Energy dips return.
Digestion feels off again.
Old habits slowly creep back in.

Not because you failed.
But because there was never a long-term system in place.

Beyond the Detox: A Plan That Sticks for 2026 is a FREE functional medicine–based session designed to help you move beyond short-term resets and build a sustainable, realistic plan for long-term health.

📍 Midlife Midwife Functional Health
Inside The Body, Birth, and Baby Center
821 S. King St, Suite B, Leesburg
🗓 Thursday, February 19, 2026
⏰ 6:30 PM EST
💛 Cost: FREE (Limited Slots)

This is not a new cleanse.
This is what comes after the detox.

You’ll learn how to:
• Transition from a reset into sustainable daily habits
• Support detox pathways long-term (without extremes)
• Build routines that work with real life
• Create a realistic, flexible plan you can actually maintain into 2026

No crash diets.
No perfection.
No all-or-nothing thinking.

✨ Reserve your spot now:
https://webinar.midlifemidwifefh.com/beyond-the-detox

02/14/2026

📰 let’s stop whispering and start reclaiming our power! 👑 I recently sat down with the Menopause Association to get REAL about something most women only discuss in hushed tones: vaginal pain and dryness.
​I’m sharing exactly why your body isn’t ready for the "junkyard"—it just needs a functional overhaul! 🛠️ From the magic of DHEA to the bioidentical "gold standard," we’re talking about how to turn things from shriveled to juicy. 🍑✨
​Intimate wellness is your birthright, beauties! Don’t settle for a "relic" when you deserve to be showroom-ready. 🏎️💨
​🛑 ​Stop surviving. Start thriving. Stay sassy! 💋👋

Donna Figueroa is breaking the silence around the topic 75% of postmenopausal women experience but almost no one talks about—vaginal dryness—and she's rejecting the standard advice to just use lubricant and lower expectations.

Her article explains why Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause isn't an isolated tissue problem but a signal of systemic hormonal dysfunction driving the same estradiol drop behind brain fog, fatigue, and disrupted sleep. She covers how local DHEA application restores vaginal tissue without synthetic hormone side effects, and how botanical adaptogens like Maca Root and Tribulus Terrestris—which showed a 79% improvement in libido in clinical studies—support complete intimate wellness restoration.

https://redefiningmenopause.com/articles/from-junkyard-to-juicy-your-midlife-vaginal-rehab-guide/

02/10/2026

If you’ve ever detoxed and thought, “Okay… now what?”, this session is for you.

In Beyond the Detox, you’ll learn:
• how to support detox pathways daily, not just during a cleanse
• what actually keeps energy and digestion stable long-term
• how to build simple routines that hold up under stress and real schedules
• how to stop cycling between “reset” and burnout

This is functional medicine, not extremes, and it’s designed to give you a plan you can reuse, adjust, and maintain.

📅 Feb 19 | 6:30 PM EST
📍 Midlife Midwife Functional Health
Inside The Body, Birth, and Baby Center, 821 S. King St, Suite B, Leesburg
💰 Free | Limited spots

👉 https://webinar.midlifemidwifefh.com/beyond-the-detox

02/09/2026

I challenge you to take a health-tracking device break and let me know how it goes

02/09/2026

👋🏼 It’s National-Clean-Out-Your-Computer 💻 Day, and what does that have to do with midlife health and wellness, you ask. ⁉️ It’s the perfect prompt to discuss cleaning out the digital clutter of too many health-tracking apps, one of my pet peeves! 😫
🏥 In my clinical practice, I’m seeing more "Data Burnout" than ever before. And it’s not just my patients – it’s my friends 👯‍♀️ family, and even gym buddies. As a society, we’ve traded our internal intuition for external validation from pieces of plastic and metal that are worn on our bodies.⌚
🩺 As a functional medicine nurse practitioner, I want to know, is it time to clean out your brain? 🤯 Are you obsessed with your data a little too much? Is your wearable wearing you out? Is that shiny little device on your wrist or your finger 💍 helping you… Or is it just feeding your anxiety?😰
😉 Don’t get me wrong, for some, these devices are medically necessary (like glucose monitors for a diabetic), but for the rest of us, we need to make sure the data is a tool, not a taskmaster.✔️
🦾 No doubt, we’re in the era of biohacking, but in midlife, our nervous systems are already juggling too much. 🤹🏼‍♀️ When we start tormenting ourselves over every sleep score, we can fall into something called 👁️👁️ Orthosomnia—where we’re actually losing sleep because we’re so stressed about our sleep data!🫩
🌞 If you wake up feeling refreshed, but your watch ⌚ alerts you to a “poor recovery”, which do you believe? ❓ Let’s take a step back and remember how to trust our own old-fashioned biofeedback again — our energy, our mood, our digestion — instead of reacting to a digital readout.🖲️
📝 If your sleep score is ruining your morning before you’ve even had coffee ☕ it’s time for a reset. Even perfect data can actually spike your cortisol, increasing your anxiety.⚠️
🤔 My challenge to you on this 'Clean Out Your Computer Day' is to close the health apps for 24-48 hours. Don't check the steps,🚶‍♀️ don't look at the heart rate.🫀 Just ask your body: 'How are we doing right now?' and actually listen to the answer.👂🏼
🎗️ Remember …. the best health-tracking device on the planet is actually the one you were born with – Your Brain!🧠
Donna Kaplan Figueroa