Washburn CHAOS Lab

12/26/2025

This is what healing looks like for me.
My husband got me my dream guitar and I’ve wanted it forever.
Guitar has been a huge part of my PTSD therapy, and has been my favorite for years. Very excited for my next lesson. Very emotional. Very metal. 🤘

12/25/2025

Christmas disease is real — and no, it’s not from holiday cookies.
Taxonomy Gone Wild: Christmas factor is the actual name for Factor IX, a critical blood-clotting protein.
Yes. That’s really what it’s called.

12/23/2025

What were the Wet Bandits’ actual odds of surviving Home Alone 2? We ran the science.
Kevin has ZERO regard for human life. He’s basically a feral trickster god armed with household supplies and unsupervised rage.
Got a movie or fandom moment you want scientifically feasible—or scientifically ruined? Drop it in the comments.

12/22/2025

Can I lick the Christmas decorations?

You can lick anything once.

Holly and mistletoe will respond with plant toxins and consequences.

Decor ≠ edible.

Science is festive. Science is feral. Science is chaos.

12/21/2025

Holiday cheer, but make it CHAOS. 🎄✨

We did the Cincinnati light circuit and lived to tell the tale:

🖤 Dent Schoolhouse Krampus Haunt — found the Grinch, vibes were unhinged, 10/10 no notes.

🎅 Cincinnati Zoo Lights — successfully located Mrs. Claus like it was a festive scavenger hunt.

❄️ Kings Island WinterFest — nearly froze solid, still committed to the holiday spirit (and hot cocoa).

Science pauses, chaos persists.

Wishing you glowing lights, feral joy, and just enough cold to feel alive.

✨🎄 Science is festive. 🎄✨

12/20/2025

The universe absolutely understood the assignment.

12/19/2025

Did I iron Slipknot vinyl onto my caving suit?
Yes. Is this what I wear during cave science? Yes. Because science is metal.

12/18/2025

One does not simply name a snail normally.

A scientist just named two newly discovered cave snails after Éowyn and Merry from Lord of the Rings—and yes, this is real, peer-reviewed taxonomy.

Tiny freshwater snails. One limestone cave. Full Middle-earth energy.

This is what happens when biologists are allowed both Latin and fandom.

The Shellowship is real. And it lives underground.

Source: Salvador & Bichuette (2024), Zoosystematics and Evolution
doi:10.3897/zse.100.136428

12/17/2025

Ever wonder what Kevin McCallister’s traps would actually do to a human body? We ran the survival odds for the Wet Bandits.

12/17/2025

Is this rock interesting?
Absolutely not—because it’s asphalt.

Not a rock. Alex is offended. Segment compromised.

BUT the way asphalt is made? Weirdly fascinating. Chaos prevails.

12/16/2025

Interested in research? Check out this summer internship program!

Want to spend your summer doing real science in a 346-acre nature sanctuary full of rocks, streams, and suspiciously photogenic moss?

The Kentucky Geological Survey is looking for SIX students to join our research team in the Kentucky River Palisades area. Learn new skills, level up professionally, meet Kentucky researchers, and end the summer presenting your own research at the Paul Edwin Potter Internship Showcase.

Apply today. Your resume will thank you. https://kygs.uky.edu/intern/2026

12/15/2025

It looks like salt. It sparkles like salt.
It is not salt.
Do not lick the road.