Kayleerosetherapy

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Kayleerosetherapy

Trauma informed psychotherapist, coach, speaker, & mindfulness instructor living in Los Angeles, CA.

Learn how to undo a lifetime of cultural, familial, and trauma-related conditioning so you can unearth and reconnect to your deepest self.

05/12/2024

Big shoutout to the fierce, fabulous Mommy Doms who keep their subs in line with love, care, and maybe a little bit of discipline 😉

Nurturing comes in many forms. Here's to the Mommy Doms 🌟💖

**MMommy ***r

05/11/2024

Reflection Questions-

Where am I pretending?
Where am I hiding parts of myself?
Where do I perform my worth?
Who can I be my full self with?
What thoughts and fears hold me back from allowing myself to be in my fullness with everyone in my life?
Where is that protection necessary for safety and where might it be an old fear to re-examine?

It never feels good to be rejected, but sometimes it saves us a lot of time and energy when people who are not for us let us go.

And hey, there’s always the possibility that when we allow our full selves to show up, others who are more aligned will actually join the party 🎉

05/10/2024

Doing the aligned, loving thing for ourselves will almost ALWAYS look different from person to person.

There is no objective “right” way to live.

Our ego LOVES to take our own shame and turn it into judgments of others. It’s scary to entertain the idea that the “thing” that I’m afraid would destroy me is actually your medicine, because if I accept that what’s for you may not be for me and vice versa, I can no longer feel “right” based on some universal truth about rightness.

I actually have to examine what is “right” based on my own needs, values, and choices.

That’s a lot more work…

There’s a lot more pressure and responsibility in making intentional decisions for yourself rather than just doing what society (family, culture etc) says is “right” automatically.

So, if I make you wrong and bad then I don’t have to do the work of examining why my choice is “right” for me.

Next time you feel judgment arise, I’d invite you to get really curious. Is it possible that this judgment is protecting you from facing something about your own choice?

What is something you felt deeply judgmental about earlier in life that you’ve now accepted as a valid way to live?

05/09/2024

Power is inherent in every relationship you have, but you probably mostly ignore it, and pretend we’re all equal.

The truth is, we all come to the table with different amounts of power in different areas of our lives.

B/D/S/M for those that are interested, can help us explore that power intentionally and consciously.

Playing with power and surrender can be an incredible source of self awareness building, empowerment, pleasure, healing, and creativity.

If you have a submissive side you like to play with, where do you fall within these archetypes?

What questions, insights, or curiosities arise as you read through this list?

**For the those unfamiliar with the culture of B/D/S/M, it’s important to note that all of this role-playing takes place within a context of very intentional negotiation, safety, and consent. Without those practices, it’s not B/D/S/M, it’s abuse.

**MSubmissives **MCommunity **MExploration

05/08/2024

One of the most fun parts of B/D/S/M is getting to explore different parts of yourself through play.

If you’re new to the scene, you may not realize how many flavors there are of Dominance and submission to explore.

In fact, there are as many different ways to play with power as there are humans doing the playing.

Here are some common “types” of Dominants, just to get your mind inspired.

After all, you can’t be curious about something you know nothing about!

Each type of Dominant brings their own strengths, preferences, and style to the dynamic, creating a rich and diverse landscape of power exchange experiences within the B/D/S/M community.

Obviously these are not well defined categories, and everyone creates their own style of Dominance based on their own needs, skills, and preferences.

Where do you fall within these descriptions?
How do you describe yourself?
What questions or curiosities arises as you read through this

**For the those unfamiliar with the culture of B/D/S/M, it’s important to note that all of this role-playing takes place within a context of very intentional negotiation, safety, and consent. Without those practices, it’s not B/D/S/M, it’s abuse.

**MDominants **MCommunity

05/07/2024

For some, healing porous or rigid boundaries is healing trauma.

While we can all improve how we set & maintain boundaries, for some the work goes deeper than practicing a script.

If you have developmental trauma, there may be some reprocessing work that is needed in order to feel grounded and safe enough to risk rupture or disconnection in intimate relationships.

When we can name and describe our fear, and then develop strategies for managing it, the process becomes a little easier.

What has empowered you to get better at boundaries?
What are some challenges you’re still working on?

05/06/2024

Let’s talk about B**M. 💥

There’s so much misinformation floating around about this complex and diverse realm of human sexuality.

Here are some common myths I hear from non-kinky folks-

Myth: B**M is all about pain.
Truth: While some B**M practices may involve pain, B**M is primarily about power dynamics, trust, and consent. Pain is just one aspect and is often consensual and pleasurable for those involved.

Myth: B**M is abusive.
Truth: B**M is rooted in mutual consent, communication, and respect. It’s about exploring desires and boundaries in a safe and consensual way. Abuse and B**M are entirely different, and consent is always paramount.

Myth: B**M is only for damaged people.
Truth: People from all walks of life engage in B**M, and it has nothing to do with being damaged. B**M can be a healthy and fulfilling expression of sexuality for individuals and couples who enjoy exploring power dynamics and kinks.

Myth: B**M is always extreme.
Truth: B**M encompasses a wide range of activities, from mild bo***ge and role-playing to more intense practices like impact play and edge play. What’s considered extreme varies from person to person, and many enjoy B**M in a safe and controlled manner.

Myth: B**M is only for heterosexual couples.
Truth: B**M is inclusive of all sexual orientations and genders. People of any sexual orientation can enjoy B**M, whether they’re in a relationship or single, and it can enhance intimacy and connection regardless of gender identity.

Myth: B**M is anti-feminist.
Truth: B**M is about consensual power exchange, and feminism is about empowering individuals to make choices about their bodies and sexuality. Many feminists engage in B**M as a form of sexual expression and empowerment.

B**M, like any other form of consensual sexual expression, deserves understanding, respect, and acceptance. 💕

**MMyths **M

05/04/2024

Why are we measuring the “success” of a relationship based on its length?

If we stay in an unsupportive, unhealthy relationship for 20 years does that mean we did romantic relationships “successfully?”

Really think about your relational values here.

For me, a relationship was successful if it held space for joy and pleasure, helped us grow and achieve goals, facilitated healing, or expanded our world view and self-understanding.

The length is inconsequential.

That doesn’t mean we don’t feel grief when we let something go, but we can see a relationship as a success no matter how long it lasted if it added value to our lives.

Nothing in life is permanent, and not everything is for every season.

How do you measure the success of a relationship?

05/03/2024

It’s beautiful to be inspired by others…to see parts of ourselves in others we’d like to amplify or deepen.

We are supposed to affect and be affected by one another.

However, rejecting parts of ourselves as “bad” and trying to become someone different will never get you where you want to be.

The path to a grounded sense of self is to go deeper inward rather than to follow another’s path.

Sometimes we may need a guide to help us find clarity or a path forward in the midst of our inner-forest, but true answers always lie within.

If you feel like you’re always looking for someone to tell you what’s next, what you “should” do or how to fix your problems, that may be a sign that you need to develop a deeper relationship to self.

For those of you on that journey, what practices have been most helpful or supportive?

05/01/2024

When people say relationships are hard, I tend to agree, but I think a lot of people use that trope to accept toxic, damaging, or unhealthy dynamics.

There’s too much context in relationships for me to give you rules around this, but here are some reflection questions that might help…

🌱Is this relationship helping me grow or am I growing despite it?

🌱 If this relationship is triggering my childhood stuff, is it also holding space for me to have corrective experiences around that same stuff?

🌱 Overall, am I evolving or feeling stuck?

🌱 Are we co-creating a positive dynamic?

🌱 What patterns am I noticing?

🌱 Am I learning from challenges?

🌱 Are boundaries being respected?

🌱 Do I feel safe, and if not, does my partner acknowledge there is work to do?

🌱 How do I feel about my individual identity?

🌱 Am I encouraged to prioritize my well-being within this relationship?

🌱 What do I envision for the future? Does my parent envision the same things?

What comes up as you read this list of reflection questions?

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Los Angeles, CA
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http://kayleerosetherapy.com/

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