05/19/2020
Conflict 101: A Therapeutic Approach by Nyah Amara
Anytime a conflict arises in your relationship the first step is to always examine yourself, your attitudes, and your behaviors because the conflict generally starts with you. It’s easy to blame others, but in all the research on conflict management the consensus is that conflict starts with the person who has the conflict. This conflict isn't always clear to the person with the conflict because it generally originates in your ego and is unconscious rooted in your past, your family of origin issues, your trauma, your personality, your attitude, or your beliefs. These conflicts are generally defense mechanisms and depending on the extent of the condition they may be delusional in nature. For this reason, it's so it's important to you evaluate yourself or seek help from professionals who can guide you because these types of conditions destroy lives. Everything can't always be someone else’s fault, so blaming, gossiping, lying, and bringing others into your conflicts only makes things worse and only cause additional problems in the relationships. In addition to the above negative consequences unhealthy conflict management damages the character of the person who you have have conflict and changes their relationships with others. So the lesson in dealing with conflict is to always deal with your own issues and never make excuses about how you feel. Talk about it, own it, and release it!
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