Lemon-Aid Counseling

01/16/2018

AFTER THE BREAKUP support group next series starts tomorrow (Tues). Delayed a week due to illness of attendees. Still space for 1-2 people. Great whether person is seeing an individual therapist elsewhere or not. Registration forms required. Please contact me ASAP to sign up. Thank you for sharing this info.

11/15/2017

After numerous conversations with clients, colleagues, and friends, my colleague and I have decided to do a session for interested persons. Enrollment is limited and pre-registration is required, so please contact us if you are interested, or if you know someone else who might benefit from this session.

07/02/2017

One of my clients asked me to check out a program called Woebot. I have been using it for a couple of weeks, to see where it goes. It's a cute little robot character who guides the person through a daily set of questions about "what's your energy level today" and "how are you feeling today"? It then presents a variety of basic CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) principles and current brain research, sometimes linking to a short YouTube video. It is generally brief and kind of entertaining, as the Woebot sometimes says things like "I'm only 6 months old, and my parents would like to know what you think about how I'm doing."

It was developed by some Stanford folks. I imagine it will become an app, but right now it works thru FB Messenger (which is my main objection, as I don't know how confidential that makes it). So far, my impression is that it is probably useful as a refresher for someone who has been in therapy, or maybe as a tool for someone who does not yet know about basic CBT concepts.

If you decide to check it out, I would love to hear your reaction to the program.

07/02/2017

I used to give people a book of conversation starters, divided by categories, for going on dates or refreshing relationships. I think this would be a good alternative ... have you ever tried out such a conversation (especially when just getting to know someone)? What do you think?

Get to know someone and create a sense of intimacy, in as little as an hour.

05/30/2017

After Life gave me a ton of lemons in a painful and unexpected breakup years ago, I started the support group, AFTER THE BREAKUP, to use my experience and newer info to help others in a similar situation. The last series in this program before summer hiatus is NOW. If you or someone you know might benefit from this men's and women's group, please forward this info ASAP.

03/15/2017

I keep getting more views to my Lemon-Aid Counseling page and I haven't done a thing with it in forever! Embarrassing! My initial intent was to separate out my lists so only close people are on this one and general posts and therapeutic issues are on the other ... but I apologize ... that has not been top priority on my long To Do List. I hope to get to that in a couple of months, after some big upcoming presentations!

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 16
Travel Day - In addition to the usual chaos of airports, with thousands of travelers, it was a very confusing system at the Tel Aviv airport. The first part of screening came in the main terminal, with two young women guards checking our passports and asking the usual questions. Then we were directed to a second area with more confusion about which line to be in, more questions, and some shuffle on my part to repack my carefully packed bags, as I was not going to be allowed to carry on what I had expected.

Then came the usual security machines. Interestingly, water bottles are allowed going through security in Israel! Then I had to run to the VAT tax refund station and present papers to get back tax on one more expensive item. One drama with the bag check stage was when that agent told several of us that the flight was overbooked and we might not get on, so it was a relief to be given a seat assignment at the gate.

The Rome to LAX piece involved yet another security screening, even though we had not left the airport, and this one included all the belts, shoes, and no water deal. Oddly, when I told the guard that I had brought this water through the Israeli screening, and he could throw it away, he took it and then handed it back to me on the other side, pointing to a trash bin over there (which I ignored and continued on with my bottle).

Whew! Well, all was fine on both flights, with the Rome to LA segment being 14 hours, 3 food services, and 2 movies long ... and then we were back, with US Customs and all that.

I am very glad I went on this trip. Despite the military scenes, it was actually a peaceful place, and no more scary than anywhere in the US - maybe less so, given all the nightly TV reports of shootings ... and OAT travel is definitely the way to go, with small groups and such interesting experiences provided!

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 15
We left the Dead Sea spa and stopped at En Gedi, a desert oasis with many beautiful Ibex (or is it Ibexes?) as well as more hyrax (see photo), those rodent-looking fuzzy guys that Shimon and Wikipedia say are most closely related to elephants ... No idea how. Walked up a path until we got to the lower waterfall. Many people were hiking on to the upper falls but we had neither the time nor strength for the group to do that. Shimon pointed out fossils in the rocks, meaning this area was once under water, several million years ago.

We next stopped at an Ancient Synagogue, with beautiful mosaic floors that were excavated. They still hold Bar Mitzvahs there. He also showed us a beautiful tree with green Apple-looking fruit, and warned us not to touch them. He broke one open and showed us the interior "milk" seeping out. This is the hemlock tree ... Afterward he went to wash hands,

At a roadside stop, I finally got a chance to do something I'd been hankering for ... photo below.

Then we took a very narrow, rough road, like a construction or maintenance road (cheers to our awesome driver, Osama) to a well-hidden memorial to September 11. The center has a piece of metal from the twin towers, and it is surrounded by all the names of victims, alphabetical and raised letters, so visitors can do rubbings. It was completed in 2009 but they ran out of money for the road, so for now, it is a little-known treasure.

Onward to a surprise lunch (well, the meal was no surprise -- I've had more falafel and shawarma and hummus the past 2 weeks than the past two years, or maybe decades!). The surprise was this place, a hole-in-the-wall restaurant/liquor store with a machine making tahini. We got to watch the sesame seeds being ground and the thick textured stream dripping into a vat. Held tiny spoons under the drip to catch a drop of something that tasted a lot like almond or peanut butter. Then the owner did a demo, how to make tahini by adding ingredients and mixing literally by hand to the proper consistency. We ended up with another taste, a copy of the recipe in English (as well as one for hummus), and we we each given a jar of the product to take home, in checked luggage and well-wrapped in plastic and clothing ...

We returned to Tel Aviv for one last night in the same hotel where we started. Had to repackage and reorganize, and then, even tho I was very tired, I went out for a short walk down to an enormous mall ... Four floors with ramps from one level to the next, in two huge buildings on opposite sides of the street connected by an interior bridge. There are several entrances, each numbered, and each with a security line waiting to have bags checked and sometimes bodies wanded before entry. It was similar in many ways to American malls, filled with groups of tweens and families with young children and older people ... Different products in some stores, and different food stands. In one section, there were several tattoo places. I was looking for a shirt and finally found one, so I could wear something clean for our farewell dinner.

After another very filling happy hour on the outdoor 4th floor patio with live musicians, we gathered for one last trip with Osama, who took us to an area that was once very poor and dilapidated but now modernized, with lots of shops and many dozens of people out walking or riding bikes or motorcycles or even cars through the narrow streets, too narrow for the bus, so we walked several blocks to the restaurant. It was Thursday, a popular wedding day in Israel, and we saw two different couples in wedding attire, walking along the streets. We had another huge meal at an outdoor restaurant and finally walked back to the area where a minivan was supposed to pick us up.

And then we had the first glitch in all our adventures -- turns out not only was Elton John performing not far away, but also there was a huge annual food and music festival on the Mediterranean. The roads were packed solid, and many were closed off, so the driver was delayed by almost an hour, while we stood on the side of the road. When we finally hooked up with him, we had the same traffic jam getting out of the area. (Meanwhile, Osama was stuck in a different jam on the way back to Jerusalem, because of some fires that we had seen starting off the road earlier in the day.) I guess it was a reminder of our upcoming return to LA traffic ...

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 14
Drove along miles and miles of barren desert on one side and the Dead Sea on the other, finally passing a large industrial complex where potash, borax, and magnesium are processed. Got to a Research and Development Center in a Moshav (farming community). They have an interactive display that is absolutely remarkable. The photo shows a sand table that has topography projected onto it, and the projection changes as the user moves the sand to make lakes, rivers, or mountains. The hand waving over the display in lower part of picture causes "rain" to fall. Really fun and informative.

Then we viewed a demo greenhouse with a wide variety of the vegetables and flowers produced in this Moshav. They have developed some practical and innovative growing methods (for example, running tomato vines and other plants vertically, taking less ground space while producing more fruit; and growing strawberries in hanging gutters, which gets them off the sandy soil and also makes it easier to pick them).

We drove the Peace Route along the divide between Israel and Jordan, and learned about the ways the two countries are cooperating with each other, swapping pieces of land and helping each other with water and agricultural technology. We stopped at a large and deep cave with salt deposits, where Lot's wife presumably looked back and turned into salt.

And then the fascinating experience of floating in the Dead Sea, which is hard to describe. You wade out into the warm water, kind of sit down, and then lay back. It feels very peaceful to just relax, floating with no effort other than keeping your balance without having some small waves roll you over. Then there is the odd sight of people walking around in robes (my favorite image was two old guys in their robes standing on a corner to cross the street, right behind two women wearing hijabs). Later, I had a salt peel (a new one for me) and a massage. Best part was hearing how each of these women came here, one from China 9 yrs ago, and the other from Chechen, 21 years ago as a refugee. Both speak several languages.

Our night ended with a wrap-up session, with everyone writing a bullet point on a chart, naming one special or favorite thing about the trip.

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 13
After 5 days in Jerusalem, we stopped at Gethsemane Church, where Jesus was betrayed and arrested. It is in Mt. of Olives, an old town in an Arabic community. In the courtyard, there is a 2000 year old olive tree, still growing. Across the way is the grotto of the Tomb of Mary, where some of the group climbed down and back up a difficult staircase. We stopped at a very cold and windy overlook where the golden dome and gold roofs of churches can be seen. From there we headed to Qumran, where the Essenes lived for two centuries. We toured the remains of their homes and ritual baths, and saw where the caves were in which they hid what was later called the Dead Sea Scrolls, found by accident by Bedouin shepherds in 1947.

From there we went to Masada, where we took a cable car to the top of the mountain (the other way up is called the Snake Path, that winds up the steep hill, and takes most people 30-60 minutes or more to climb). At the top, we had a 360 view, which explains the location and the name, which means "stronghold." It was constructed by King Herod (one of several palaces he built before his death a few years BCE) and has 3-4 foot thick walls, extensive water systems and elaborate bath houses. Previously, about 152 BCE, it is thought to have been inhabited by the Macabbees (the well-known story of the defeat of Romans who had destroyed the temple, and then the miracle of Hanukah lights). It was later taken over by the remainder of the Essenes and other Jewish rebels against the Romans.

After almost a year of fighting off the Roman attackers, the 1000 rebels found themselves trapped, surrounded, with no way out. They were sure to be invaded and killed, enslaved, or forced into prostitution by 8000 Roman troops. Rather than face those certain results, they decided on a mass su***de. Each man was responsible for killing his own family. The last 10 men drew lots (see photo with their names) to determine the order in which they would kill each other, and the last one was to commit su***de -- a practice prohibited by their religion. The Romans arrived to find all dead. Only a couple of women and a few children survived to tell the story. There was a TV mini-series in 1981 called Masada, and another in 2015 called The Dovekeepers, dramatizing the tragic story. Below is a photo of the dove houses.

The day ended at the Dead Sea at a beautiful spa resort with a private beach ... and of course another HUGE buffet meal spread.

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 12
Today we started Jewish and ended as Christian as can be! Went to the City of David, where Shimon had us stand in a close circle and pile one hand upon the next until we were all stacked as he named each era -- with each hand representing one layer of the history beneath our feet. We then watched a 3-D film of the history of the city, climbed around an ongoing archeological dig (many layers of history found under a parking lot), and walked through a long, narrow, deep tunnel that goes under the highway and comes up at the south end of the Western Wall. The age and construction of these old walls and temples is unbelievable -- somehow they are so well designed and fabricated that they have lasted more than 2000 years and below that, more than 3 or 4 or up to 5000 years!

We saw 8th grade students from the U.S. on a trip there, as well as Bar Mitzvah processions -- quite impressive, with klezmer and shofar and drums leading the boy and family to the wall. Monday and Thursday are the days when Bar Mizvahs take place.

Then we headed to a museum display of the city of Jerusalem, constructed in precise detail, at I think 1/50 scale. It was interesting to see how all the places we have been actually fit together on the layout. Next we went to an odd shaped white upside down funnel with ridges and water fountains, which turns out to be the storage for the Dead Sea Scrolls. The above ground part keeps the temperature at the proper level for the safety of the scrolls beneath. It is really amazing to see these thousands of pages on display, the entire Bible handwritten on parchment scrolls more than 2000 years ago.

The bus dropped Shimon back near the hotel and we went on with our driver into Palestine. He cannot enter, as he has an Israeli passport and this is part of Area A, under Palestinian jurisdiction (see photo). We had been told to bring our passports in case the bus was boarded and we were asked to show them, but that did not happen. We met our new guide at a restaurant where we had lunch in the town outside Bethlehem where Shepherd's Field is located. He took us into a cave that presumably was where the shepherds were when the Angel arrived to tell them of the birth of Jesus. Then we went to one of many, many, MANY shops, to buy souvenirs. Shimon had told us that this is how these poor people make a living and encouraged us to shop, so we did.

From there we went to Bethlehem. Explored a church divided into three parts: Greek orthodox, Armenian, and Catholic. This is the Church of the Nativity. Within the first section there was a narrow stairway down into a small area where we saw the place that presumably Jesus was born. Then we came up through the Catholic church part and descended another stairway into some more caves underground, one of which was used by I forget who to transcribe the Bible. I'm fuzzy on this, sorry! Our guide then gave us five definitive reasons why they are sure that this in fact is where the manger was located.

There were two surprising events during the day. First, we were told by a policeman to back away and not cross the street, which we assumed was because of an arriving parliamentarian or something like that. But we discovered that the problem was a bag left on the other side of the of the street. Abandoned bags, of course, are highly suspicious! We expected a bomb squad to come and blow this thing up, so we backed away. But after a while, a man showed up and retrieved the bag he had apparently left by mistake! Surprisingly, there was no citation or anything else. He just took it and left.

Our second surprise occurred at the Church of the Nativity, where the parking lot was totally jammed with diplomatic vehicles. There were bodyguards and drivers all over the place, because the prime minister of France was in the church! Apparently, he is in Palestine for some discussions with the leadership here.

This country is the most complex and interesting place I have ever been. The tour was well-planned to take us to the "lighter" places first and not to encounter the more complicated and militaristic sights until later, when they began to make sense andnot be so scary.

06/07/2016

ISRAEL TRIP - DAY 11
Our days got longer and more complicated, and I had less to say about them in many ways. This is just a very overwhelming place.

Today we were at Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum. It is such a powerful place, words cannot describe ... The entrance walkway is lined with trees Honoring the Righteous Among Nations, Gentiles and others who helped save Jews. Schindler and many others. They also initially planted 6,000,000 pine trees, some of which burned in a fire. The building is beautifully designed, and the content extremely powerful. When we first entered the museum, which is organized chronologically, there were films of Hi**er giving speeches and audiences reacting. (It was sickening in itself, but also in the deep similarity to the presumptive Republican candidate. Similar rhetoric and similar audience response ...)

It is incomprehensible that some people claim this did not happen. General Eisenhower told the army, when they were about to enter the camps, to take as many pictures as possible to document the horror, so it would be be on record. The photos near the end of the museum show the almost-corpse like bodies of the prisoners, as well as piles of actual corpses being pushed with a bulldozer into burial ditches ... Brutality to the enth degree ...

The Children's Memorial was most moving. You hold onto a handrail and proceed in the dark along a pathway. On both sides, extending in every direction, are little candle lights, one for each child, 1.5 million lights, and you hear their names and ages being read as you walk through. Chilling. It turns out there were only 6 candles, and all the rest are mirror reflections ... Absolutely astounding, and very emotional. When we exited that, we stopped, Shimon lit a candle, and we recited Kaddish (the prayer for the dead).

I mentioned in an earlier post that the military are everywhere in Jerusalem, and that they are not allowed to put down their rifles when on duty. However, there are no weapons allowed in Yad Vashem, and it is a part of their education to spend time there. So their rifles were removed for a few hours and surprisingly stacked along a wall (see photo).

Went went to another building for a talk by a survivor, not someone in the camps but someone who escaped by hiding with a family in France. After lunch in the museum cafeteria, we left for Hadassah Hospital, where 12 Chagall Stained glass windows adorn the synagogue there, each depicting one of the original tribes of Israel.

We came back to the hotel and later went to dinner at an ultra orthodox home. It did not feel like that, in many ways, as the family was not as I expected. The wife (wearing a denim skirt just below the knees) spent time answering questions and telling us about their marriage arrangements, and the husband, who never said a word, brought in the food. Then a rabbi, a young man, arrived and took over talking and answering questions. The questions were pretty interesting, especially since half of our group is Christian and the rest of us are nowhere near Orthodox in our approach to Judaism. End of another deeply interesting and exhausting day.