Dr. Cortney S. Warren - Choose Honesty, LLC

11/24/2025

Breakups can feel like withdrawal. The obsessive thoughts, the cravings, the pain that won’t let go.

I joined Scarlett Chang on The Healing Energy Collective podcast to talk about why heartbreak can feel like an addiction, how early attachment wounds shape our pain, and what it really takes to let go and rebuild your identity.

If you're struggling to move on or want to better understand the psychology of love and loss, this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen here: https://apple.co/4ilVmJF

Podcast Episode · Healing Energy Collective with Scarlett Chang · 11/12/2025 · 54m

11/20/2025

Why is getting over your first love so painful?

Although all breakups can be hard, the first love is often particularly challenging becasue it’s not just about the person, it’s about where people are developmentally when it happens.

Often, people fall in love for the first time during adolescence and young adulthood. During this time, breakups are particularly hard for a few key reasons.

1️⃣ It’s all new. Love, s*x, and intimacy are intense firsts and we’re not emotionally equipped yet.
2️⃣ We’re still figuring out who we are. Without a strong sense of self, breakups can be particularly destabilizing.
3️⃣ Our brain isn’t fully developed until around age 25--until then, impulsivity and emotional intensity run high.

If you’re a teen or young adult struggling with heartbreak, know this: You’re not broken, you’re growing.

Give yourself time. Be honest. Keep learning who you are.

11/12/2025

Searching for closure after a breakup?

Here’s the hard truth: You may never get the answers you’re looking for—and even if you did, they might not help you feel any better.

Here are 3 reasons why closure often doesn’t come from your ex:
1️⃣ They won’t tell you why they left.
2️⃣ Even if they did, it wouldn’t make you feel better.
3️⃣ Their reason wasn’t logical, it was emotional.

Instead of obsessing over why they left, ask yourself:
💭 What do I need to heal and move forward now?

You may not get closure from them, but you can let them go and focus on what you need to do to move forward.

11/05/2025

Ever heard “I’m sorry you feel that way” and walked away feeling… not so great?

That’s because it’s not really an apology, it’s a subtle way of avoiding responsibility.

A true apology sounds like:
👉 “I’m sorry for what I said.”
👉 “I’m sorry for how I acted.”

If you want to own your behavior and repair connection, don't deflect.
Say I’m sorry and mean it.

11/05/2025

Do you know someone who’s misusing substances in an effort to lose weight?

Research shows a concerning link between body dissatisfaction, disordered eating, and drug use—especially among women. In my latest Psychology Today article, I explore why so many women turn to drugs as a weight-loss strategy and what we must do to support long-term recovery.

Read the full article here:

Do you know someone who's used drugs in an effort to lose weight? Research suggests that substance use aimed at weight loss is increasingly common in women.

10/29/2025

In my recent interview with Equilibria Psychological Services, we discussed why letting go of an ex can feel so difficult, the role of red flag thinking in keeping us stuck, and how love can become addictive. We also explored how self-deception shapes our relationship patterns and what it really takes to move forward after a breakup.

If you're struggling to let go or want to understand yourself better in the context of love and loss, I hope you'll take a moment to watch.

Thank you to Dan Gomez and Dr. Erika Kawamura for chatting with me on Mental Health Super Omnia with Equilibria.

Watch the full interview on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3J3S80c

Cortney Warren, PhD, psychologist, author, and speaker with numerous media appearances including TedTalk, talks to us about how love addiction is a real phen...

10/28/2025

If you’re in a relationship with an addict, read this carefully. 💔

The hard truth is this:

👉 The addiction will always come first. It's their top priority.

For someone struggling with addiction, the stimulus they’re addicted to becomes the center of their life. It holds central importance. Drugs, alcohol, s*x, gambling--whatever the addictive stimulus, it will come first.

That means you will never be their top priority until they actively begin the journey of recovery.

This is not about judging people struggling with an addiction. Millions of people struggle with addictions of many kinds. This is about being honest with yourself about how their addiction will likely influence your importance in their life unless they're actively in recovery.

10/21/2025

Breakup grief is real and common. It rarely follows a linear path. 💔

Grief can emerge any time we lose something deeply meaningful. And breakups are no exception.

Here are five signs you may be grieving a breakup:
1) shock
2) denial
3) bargaining
4) extreme emotions
5) acceptance

You may move back and forth through these phases many times. But ultimately, acceptance is the goal.

10/14/2025

Emotionally resilience doesn't mean pretending life is easy. It means that you confront the challenges head-on as they emerge.

Here are 3 powerful phrases often used by people with high levels of resilence:

1) “Life is hard.”
Pain is part of being human. Denying that only makes it harder.

2) “I can handle it.”
No matter what comes, I trust that I’ll figure it out.

3) “I’m focusing on what I can control.”
Because while I can’t control everything that happens to me, I can control how I respond.

These aren’t just phrases, they’re mindsets that build emotional strength.

10/06/2025

Love is not enough to make a relationship work.

It’s one of the hardest truths to accept about romantic relationships. Most of us desperately want love to be enough. But it’s not.

Healthy, lasting relationships require so much more than love to be last. Things like emotional honesty, mutual growth, behavioral effort, compromise, and a shared willingness to do the work required for sustained connection.

If you’re in the painful place of letting go of someone you love, pause.

Remind yourself:
💔 Love may be necessary, but it’s not sufficient.

09/24/2025

Sometimes stress emerges in situations you can’t physically escape. It could be a tense meeting at work, a hard interpersonal conversation, or in a crowded family gathering. In these moments, you easily walk out, but you still need a way to ground yourself in the moment.

That’s where a small, physical tool can help. A stress ball, a fidget, even a smooth stone in your pocket or holding your own hand can give you a physical outlet to focus on. It’s a discreet way to release tension, take a breath, and remind yourself that you’re okay.

The goal isn’t to erase the stress entirely—it’s to give yourself a self-soothing tool to get through it. Sometimes, one quiet squeeze goes a long way.

09/19/2025

Snooping on your partner’s phone might feel justified, but it rarely leads to trust or resolution.

It’s often driven by insecurity, past trauma, or a gut feeling that something’s off. But snooping usually causes more harm than good, no matter what you find.

If you're feeling the urge to snoop, it's time for a deeper conversation—with your partner and with yourself.

👉 Read the full article on YourTango: https://bit.ly/46yJHBF

One really bad sign for a relationship, and it's one very few people look for.