Dragonfly Grief Care

12/15/2025

I wrote this last year but thought it was worth sharing anually. This is my second season without Mom and to be honest it’s not much easier than last year. Im trying but still struggling to find my holiday spirit. I know I’m not the only one and wanted ya’ll to lmoa you arent alone either.

As we get closer to Christmas you may be wondering how to help friends or family members who are grieving. It’s hard enough to grieve on a random day of the year but throw in all the fa la la la la and twinkling lights and parties and it only magnifies the fact that someone important is missing from the celebration. Here’s a few helpful tips-

* Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to avoid customs of the past and do something new. It’s okay to do things differently. Some may even choose not to acknowledge the holidays and that needs to be ok too.

* I cannot emphasize this enough… Say their name and share their stories- that you remember too is the greatest gift you can give them!!

* Offer to help them set up their tree/decorations “if” they want to. And bring goodies so they don’t feel the need to entertain you.

* Invite the person to join you or your family during the holidays. You might invite them to join you for a religious service or at a holiday meal where they are a guest. Do not however place an empty chair or other memorial for the one who died without asking if that’s something the grieving would find comforting. For some it’s just a magnified physical reminder of the absence.

* Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holidays. Doing something for someone else, such as helping at a soup kitchen or working with children, may help your loved one feel better about the holidays.

* Donate a gift or money in memory of the person’s loved one. Remind the person that his or her loved one is not forgotten.

* Never tell someone that he or she should be “over it.” or “try to be happy and enjoy!”Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, he or she will enjoy the holidays again.

* Be willing to listen. Active listening from friends and family is an important step to helping some cope with grief and heal.

* Remind the person that you are thinking of him or her and the loved one who died. Cards, phone calls and visits are great ways to stay in touch.

* Follow up after the holidays to check in. Given the activity of the season, some people may make it through the holidays without any issues but they might find the post-holiday period to be more difficult. So checking in after the holidays to see how he or she may be doing is important.

May you all feel PEACE this holiday season.

11/24/2025

I miss her every second but right now with the holiday season I’m really struggling. This is the first year in my entire lifetime where I haven’t had my mom or my siblings for Thanksgiving. It’s a weird feeling. We have friends who have invited us to join them and I’m grateful. But oh how I wish she were here doing the “do we go to a restaurant or do I cook?” dance. When she chose restaurant she wished we had cooked missing all the traditional sides our family enjoyed. When we cooked she wished we had gone out because it was too much work and mess. In later years we started having turkey sandwiches with the sides on the Friday after. Then she would say “why did we go out if we were just going to make all the sides anyway?” The conversation stressed me out when she was here but I’d give anything to do the dance now.

11/22/2025

This is one of my favorite illustrations of the grief process. We think the goal is to get past it and move on but we slowly learn it’s to move through. As I work through the second holiday season without Mom I’m having a heck of a time. I have to remember there are no rules and it’s ok not to be ok.

11/08/2025

11/02/2025

My sister and I are taking a cruise for her 60th birthday which falls at Thanksgiving. I’m not looking forward to when we get back because there will be Christmas decorations everywhere!! Including at work since I’m in retail. Mom was Christmas. Mom was home. This is our second season without her but I dread it just as much as the first. And that’s ok. Just here to remind you there are no rules in grief. Just try not to run from it. It always catches back up to you.

10/13/2025

Some days I just doggy paddle or tread water. And that’s ok.

08/23/2025

Such great points- all true. Today is a hard day… no reason. It just is. I needed to read these and remind myself it’s ALL normal. I’m reminding you too. ❤️

08/18/2025

So so true… hey laughter is part of grief too

07/28/2025

Yes! It’s ok to fall apart!! Being told how strong I am wears me out sometimes.

07/24/2025

It’s been a rough week for Gen Xers with the losses of Malcolm Jamal Warner, Ozzy Ozbourne, and today Hulk Hogan. It may seem silly to some to truly feel sad about the loss of people we never knew in person but it’s not. Not at all. I hope things brings comfort or understanding if you need it.

07/17/2025

This offers some good information about how the brain processes grief and loss. But again I remind you that everyone’s journey is unique so take what you like and leave the rest.

Understanding how loss affects our brain and body can help us realize that healing from a loss takes time, and we need to be gentle during the grieving process.

07/13/2025

Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours,
Can understand.

Let me come in -- I would be very still
Beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears can bring relief.

Let me come in -- I would only breathe a prayer,
And hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours,
And understand.

by Grace Noll Crowell

Thank you to Gary Sturgis - Surviving Grief for posting.