Dr. Cindy Sholes

11/09/2025

Forgiveness Isn’t Reconciliation — and That’s the Point. 💖
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or reconciling. It means freeing yourself from the bitterness that fuels contempt—the most destructive emotion in any relationship.
As Arthur Brooks writes in 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘌𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴, contempt poisons connection and divides hearts. Neuroscience confirms it: when we hold contempt, our brain locks into defense mode. Our heart rhythm becomes erratic. We lose the capacity for empathy and clarity.
But when we forgive, we release the bitterness driving that contempt. The heart and brain fall back into coherence. Calm returns. Boundaries become clearer. And love—where it’s possible—can flow again.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase accountability. It simply releases the poison so we can move with peace, dignity, and strength.
🌿 Read the full blog here ➜ https://www.drcindysholes.com/forgiveness-isnt-reconciliation/

“Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to invite them back in your life. It means you are choosing to release the weight of resentment, not the wisdom of experience.” — Brené Brown Forgiveness Is

11/08/2025

🌿 Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation 🌿
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened or letting someone hurt you again. It means releasing resentment—not boundaries.
A client of mine recently felt betrayed when her sibling used family funds to buy ugly blinds without consulting anyone. It wasn’t about the blinds—it was about the pattern of disrespect. Other family members told her to “just let it go,” but her inner child said clearly: “No. I won’t let you hurt me again.”
That’s not unforgiveness—that’s boundary-setting.
Forgiveness frees you from poison. Boundaries keep you safe. Justice can still be sought.
✨ You can forgive and require fairness.
✨ You can forgive and say “never again.”
✨ You can forgive without reconciling.
Forgiveness is about reclaiming your peace, not erasing your wisdom.
👉 Read more in my latest blog: https://www.drcindysholes.com/forgiveness-isnt-reconciliation/

“Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to invite them back in your life. It means you are choosing to release the weight of resentment, not the wisdom of experience.” — Brené Brown Forgiveness Is

11/04/2025

Arthur Brooks writes that we live in an addictive culture of contempt, and neuroscience supports his view: negative emotions spread quickly through emotional contagion.
But research from Dr. Rollin McCraty and HeartMath Institute shows that positive emotions—love, appreciation, compassion—create heart coherence: a measurable state where the heart and brain synchronize, improving emotional balance, decision-making, and connection with others.

When we generate coherence, we’re not only regulating our physiology — we’re strengthening our relationships and contributing to global harmony.

I explore this powerful intersection of neuroscience and compassion in my new article:
👉 Be the Vibe You Want to See in the World

And I invite you to experience it directly by joining one of three free Heart Coherence Meditations using HeartMath’s Global Coherence App:
🕊 Monday, Nov. 17 at 8:30 am PT
🌙 Tuesday, Nov. 18 at 6:30 pm PT
🌞 Wednesday, Nov. 19 at 2:00 pm PT
If you’d like to participate, message me for the Zoom link and group instructions.
Let’s bring coherence to our hearts, our homes, and the global field. 💗

https://www.drcindysholes.com/be-the-vibe/

Arthur Brooks, in his insightful book Love Your Enemies, argues that we live in an addictive culture of contempt. He suggests that if we consciously and intentionally generate loving-kindness in our own hearts, we can not only free ourselves from that addiction but also positively influence the

11/02/2025

Have you noticed how contagious contempt has become in our culture?
A roll of the eyes. A cutting comment. A dismissive tone.
It spreads fast — and it leaves us all feeling a little more divided.
Neuroscience shows that emotions like anger and contempt are born from the stress response and can trigger the same reaction in others. But here’s the good news: love, kindness, and appreciation are contagious too. 💞
Research from HeartMath Institute and Dr. Rollin McCraty reveals that when we intentionally generate positive emotions, our heart’s electromagnetic field becomes coherent — creating harmony in our nervous system and rippling outward to others, even across distance.
When you practice heart coherence, you don’t just calm your body or lift the global field — you also change the atmosphere in your home. 💗
It helps you respond rather than react, reconnect rather than retreat. It’s one of the most effective ways I know to bring people closer together — whether that’s with your partner, your children, or anyone you love.
When Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world,”
I like to say: Be the vibe you want to see in the world. 🌍✨
💡 Read my new blog to learn more:
👉 https://www.drcindysholes.com/be-the-vibe/
Then join me on Monday, November 17th at 8:30am, Tuesday, November 18th at 6:30pm, and Wednesday, November 19th at 2:00 pm (Pacific Time) for a free Heart Coherence Meditation using HeartMath’s Global Coherence App.
Reply or message me for the Zoom link and simple instructions to join our global field of love.

Arthur Brooks, in his insightful book Love Your Enemies, argues that we live in an addictive culture of contempt. He suggests that if we consciously and intentionally generate loving-kindness in our own hearts, we can not only free ourselves from that addiction but also positively influence the

09/08/2025

On a recent family trip to Yosemite, I was struck by the resilience of a single pine tree that survived a devastating fire. 🌲
Amidst the white skeletons of burnt trees and the tender green of new saplings, this lone survivor stood tall—offering cones and carrying the responsibility of regeneration.
It reminded me that sacrifice isn’t always about loss. At its root, sacrifice means sacred offering. Living authentically, sharing our unique gifts, and contributing to something larger than ourselves can be a joyful act of love. 💖
I wrote about this reflection in my latest blog—how nature teaches us about purpose, cooperation, and what it means to live as a sacred offering.
👉 Read it here: https://www.drcindysholes.com/the-sacred-offering/

09/05/2025

So much of the conversation about collapse focuses on what’s broken in our systems. But what if the biggest challenge—and the most powerful solution—lies within us? 🌱
In Part 2 of my series, The Problem We Can Solve, I explore why emotional agility, spiritual grounding, and relational strength are the real resources we need now. This is the inner work that changes how we face an uncertain future.
✨ Read the full post here: 🔗 https://www.drcindysholes.com/the-problem-we-can-solve/

09/03/2025

Are you wondering how to stay grounded when so much in the world feels like it’s unraveling? 🌊
In my new blog, Facing the Future with Power, I share how we can navigate collapse with resilience, compassion, and clarity. It’s not about fixing everything “out there”—it’s about reclaiming ourselves and building the inner and relational resources we need to meet this moment with courage.
💡 Read the full blog here: 🔗 https://www.drcindysholes.com/facing-the-future/

Learning to Navigate Collapse Without Losing Ourselves This past year has opened my eyes in ways I can’t unsee. As the world around us shifts—climate, politics, culture, even our personal relationships—I’ve found myself reckoning with truths I once kept at a safe distance. What began as a se...

09/01/2025

The world is changing around us—climate, politics, culture, even the ground of our own identities. Many of us feel the grief, the uncertainty, the overwhelm. And yet, there is also resilience, beauty, and purpose to be found. 🌱💫
I’ve written a new two-part blog series on navigating collapse with clarity and compassion:
1️⃣ Facing the Future with Power — how to stay steady in the midst of unraveling
2️⃣ The Problem We Can Solve — why the real work begins within us
These aren’t just reflections on what’s breaking down. They’re invitations to discover what’s still possible—and what’s waiting to be reclaimed inside each of us.
The first post is live now:
👉 Facing the Future with Power
https://www.drcindysholes.com/facing-the-future/
Stay tuned next week for Part 2: The Problem We Can Solve.

Learning to Navigate Collapse Without Losing Ourselves This past year has opened my eyes in ways I can’t unsee. As the world around us shifts—climate, politics, culture, even our personal relationships—I’ve found myself reckoning with truths I once kept at a safe distance. What began as a se...

08/30/2025

Are you doing everything “right” but still feel off?
We’re taught to work hard, keep our heads down, and hustle for success.
But somehow... it still doesn’t feel like enough.
You might be caught in the vortex of the hedonic treadmill—chasing happiness through stuff, success, and productivity.
Closets full. Calendars full. Hearts… strangely empty.
Have you started asking: Is this really all there is?
You’re not alone. Keep reading: https://www.drcindysholes.com/escaping-the-vortex/.

In the rapid flow of modern life, we're taught that success means staying busy: get a good job, keep your head down, work harder, climb higher. But somewhere along the way, many of us get pulled into the eddy of the hedonic treadmill—chasing short bursts of pleasure and external validation, hoping...

06/11/2025

🎙️ 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗣𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄: 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗪𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 ✨
What if healing didn’t have to be hard?
I recently had the honor of joining Angie Berrett on her powerful podcast Healing Doesn’t Have to Be Heavy, where we dove deep into one of my life’s most important callings: helping people heal emotional and ancestral trauma so they can reclaim their power and live in alignment with their truest self.
In Episode 13: From Wounds to Wisdom, we explore:
💫 How childhood and generational trauma shape our beliefs and behaviors
💫 The neuroscience of the subconscious mind and emotional regulation
💫 Why hypnotherapy, movement, and play can unlock deep healing
💫 How healing can be gentle, hopeful, and even joyful—with the right tools
Whether you're just starting your healing journey or are deep in the work, I believe this episode will offer you both validation and inspiration to continue forward.
🎧 Listen now on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4YnFHkjpm0s?si=Qm7FtZ2DhdKGmCki
🔗 Or visit my website: www.DrCindySholes.com
🎁 And if you’d like to go deeper, claim your free Soul Destiny Blueprint — it’s a powerful mirror of your soul’s encoded potential. Tag me in a comment and I will send you a link.
Thank you to Angie for this heartfelt, hope-filled conversation. 💖

In this powerful and heartfelt episode, Angie Berrett and Dr. Cindy Sholes explore the deep-rooted impact of trauma, both personal and generational, and the ...

05/26/2025

Being right feels good—until it costs you peace.
New blog: Out Beyond Right and Wrong
👉 https://www.drcindysholes.com/the-problem-isnt-the-conflict-its-the-map/

What If Your Map Is Wrong? There’s a popular meme that you may have seen before. It shows a three-dimensional cylinder placed between two colored light sources. From the left, a blue light casts a shadow on the wall that looks like a circle. From the right, an orange light casts a shadow that

05/24/2025

🌀 What if your version of reality isn’t the full picture?
Our brains build internal maps to help us feel safe—but those maps aren’t always accurate. In my latest blog, I explore what happens when we mistake the map for the truth… and how that creates unnecessary conflict in our closest relationships.
✨ Featuring one of my favorite Rumi poems and a client story that might just sound familiar.
👉 Read here: https://www.drcindysholes.com/the-problem-isnt-the-conflict-its-the-map/

What If Your Map Is Wrong? There’s a popular meme that you may have seen before. It shows a three-dimensional cylinder placed between two colored light sources. From the left, a blue light casts a shadow on the wall that looks like a circle. From the right, an orange light casts a shadow that