Loving Me After We

Loving Me After We ✨Healing, confidence + self-love for women after toxic relationships

02/07/2026

Funny how “ideal femininity” just happens to look like a child.

Small. Hairless.

Soft-spoken.

Sexually inexperienced.

Agreeable.

Easy to control.

No appetite.

No anger.

No needs.

No voice.

Are we catching on yet?!?

A culture that glorifies women being tiny, submissive, inexperienced, and compliant isn’t celebrating femininity,it’s rehearsing power.

It’s training women to take up less space so men never have to grow UP.

Adult women have bodies.

Desires. Opinions.

Boundaries. Rage.

Wisdom.

And every system that tries to shave that down into “pretty,” “pure,” and “palatable” is telling on itself.

If your version of femininity requires women to be quieter, smaller, and easier than their nervous system actually is, you don’t want a partner.

You want a doll.

And we’re done pretending that’s not creepy.

02/02/2026

Please find something safe to do that isn’t your messy ex or another rebound tour 😂

Let’s listen to our intuition or whoever you pray to at night because rolling recklessly into another pit stop on that rebound tour isn’t what you want 😂😂😂

*ahem* *therapist voice*

Let’s consider the consequences of not sitting with our feelings and giving ourselves a chance to heal.

Mmkaayyyy??

We’re ushering the era of high standards, healthy boundaries and paying attention to red flags when they show up while also embodying the very things we want in a healthy partner.

Take my relationship avatar quiz if you’re ready to find out what’s keeping you stuck on your healing journey!

Link in bio: lovingmeafterwe.com/raq

We’re not doing potential anymore ❤️

🎥

01/27/2026

I want to try something different here, because a few of you said you were hoping for a healthy conversation, and I’m actually open to that.

So this is me asking, genuinely: no political rhetoric answers allowed.

Given what is publicly documented and unfolding right now, that Black and brown men and women are being disproportionately targeted in ICE enforcement, what led you to believe that a Black woman who speaks openly about feminism, patriarchy, misogyny, and safety would be okay with this?

I’m not asking that rhetorically.

I’m asking it because I’m trying to understand the internal logic.

There are law-enforcement officials themselves who have spoken out about this targeting and said plainly that it has crossed a line.

Brooklyn Park Police Chief Mark Bruley in Minnesota reported that federal ICE agents are racially profiling and targeting people of color, including off-duty officers, during immigration enforcement operations.

So when some of you say, “I thought you were different,” I pause.

Different how?

Different as in quieter?

Different as in willing to compartmentalize harm?

What I’m wondering and again, this is curiosity, not accusation is whether familiarity with self-silencing makes other people’s silence feel normal.

When you’ve learned to tolerate things in your own life in your family systems, your romantic relationships, your proximity to power, the contrast disappears.

So when someone speaks up, it can feel less like disagreement and more like betrayal.

Not because they changed.

But because they didn’t participate in the same self-abandonment.

I’ve never believed in empowerment that requires denial.

I’ve never believed in feminism that only applies when it’s convenient.

And I’ve never believed that safety comes from pretending you’re the exception.

So if this moment is unsettling, I don’t think it’s because I’m suddenly “different.”

I think it’s because the values were never as aligned as you hoped, and sitting with that discomfort is part of an honest conversation too.

I’m open to dialogue.

But the cost of admission are honesty, introspection and vulnerability.

If immigrants were actually responsible for “all the violent crime,” the data would show it.It doesn’t.According to the ...
01/26/2026

If immigrants were actually responsible for “all the violent crime,” the data would show it.

It doesn’t.

According to the National Institute of Justice, undocumented immigrants are arrested for violent crime at less than half the rate of U.S.-born citizens.

For property crime? About a quarter of the rate.

For homicide? Lowest of all groups.

Consistently.

So if you’re still clinging to the idea that immigrants are the threat, what you’re defending isn’t public safety, it’s a narrative that helps you avoid a harder truth.

That the danger you’re afraid of doesn’t come from “outsiders.”

It comes from inside the house.

From the men you know.
The systems you protect.
The violence you excuse because it feels familiar.

Immigrants make a convenient villain because they can’t talk back, can’t vote, and can be blamed without consequence.

Fear works better when it’s aimed downward.

This isn’t ignorance anymore.

The data has been available for years.

At this point, it’s a choice:

Do you care about facts or do you care about preserving a belief that makes you feel righteous while pointing in the wrong direction?

Because the numbers aren’t confused.

Only the story you’ve been told is.

01/26/2026

Some of you are furious because I refused to perform palatability in the face of dehumanization in my last post.

And that rage isn’t about me.

It’s about recognition.

You are angry because you recognize the same survival strategy you use with men, stay quiet, stay agreeable, stay pickable and you don’t like seeing it reflected back without cushioning.

You’ve learned how to be prey to men who don’t like you so well that you mistake silence for safety and self-betrayal for maturity.

So when I refuse to contort myself for approval, it disrupts the fantasy you have of me.

But I see you.

You wanted me to want to be chosen by you the way you want to be chosen by them.

You thought I’d trade my integrity for likes the way you trade yours for proximity.

I won’t.

I will never betray myself to make you comfortable.

I will never go quiet to validate what you tolerate.

And I will never soften violence just so you don’t have to look at the cost of your own silence.

What you’re actually mad about is this:
I’m not playing the role you’ve accepted as normal.

Because if I stay loud, clear, and unmoved you can’t keep pretending that your suffering is inevitable instead of familiar.

So yes, unfollow. That was the point.

Some of you are not here to heal, you’re here to be reassured that betraying yourself is still a viable strategy.

It isn’t.

And no, I’m not setting myself on fire so you can stay warm in dynamics that are burning you alive.

That’s the work.
That’s the mirror.
That’s why this hurts.

You don’t see me as fully human, and that’s why my speaking up enrages you.

Because it mirrors the truth you don’t want to face: you keep laundering humanity for men who would gladly strip it from you too.

Nothing new here, but just so we’re clear for the uninitiated to this page:Therapy is political, but it goes deeper than...
01/26/2026

Nothing new here, but just so we’re clear for the uninitiated to this page:

Therapy is political, but it goes deeper than that at this point.

When you still support Trump after Renee Good and Alex Pretti were killed, you are no longer talking about “policy differences” or “economic anxiety” about eggs.

Because they’re now $15.99/dozen and some of you are still championing the evil we see before us in this moment.

You are making a moral choice.

Because those names didn’t become known because they were rare.

They became known because their deaths were caught on camera.

There are countless others whose names you will never learn.

No footage.

No outrage cycle.

No hashtags.

Just silence and a body count that doesn’t interrupt your comfort.

And when you say “I don’t agree with everything he does, but….”
what you’re really saying is:
‼️The cruelty isn’t a dealbreaker for me‼️

You are signaling that state violence, racialized fear, and the casual disposal of human lives are acceptable collateral as long as you feel protected, powerful, or politically aligned.

You gave consent to this.

And while we will all get through this, know that I will never forgive any of you who voted for this or those who stayed on the sidelines.

Supporting Trump in this moment means aligning yourself with a system that requires dehumanization to function.

The same dehumanization so many of your exes engaged with you.

The same men in many cases who voted for this.

So no, we don’t share values.

And no, this isn’t about being “divisive.”

It’s about being honest.

If that truth makes you uncomfortable, that’s not my tone.

That’s your conscience knocking.

History doesn’t ask how you intended to show up.

It records what you tolerated, and who you stood with while others were dying.

And some of you are standing on the wrong side of it.

This country will come back from this but as for those who voted for this?

We won’t.

Because when you choose men you don’t respect, you stay on edge.Hyperaware. Resentful. Reactive.He’s not a partner, he’s...
01/19/2026

Because when you choose men you don’t respect, you stay on edge.

Hyperaware. Resentful. Reactive.

He’s not a partner, he’s a trigger.

He’s not stable, he’s familiar.

But there is a different way to love.

It starts with choosing men who feel like home, not homework.

You don’t need more self-help books, another silent treatment, or one more fight where you end up apologizing just for having a need.

You need a healing space that gets it.

That gets you.

That’s what the Inner Circle is.

It’s a guided membership where I help women like you:
➖Understand your triggers
➖Break painful patterns
➖Learn how to feel safe loving and being loved

You get weekly mini-lessons (no fluff, just truth, tools, and healing), journaling prompts, and access to an entire vault of self-paced masterclasses.

➡️For what you’re going through now? Start here:

🌸Overcoming The Attraction to Emotionally Unavailable Partners
→ Helps unpack why you chase chaos over consistency.

🌸Healing The Father Wound
→ Gets into the core reason some women “wait for daddy to do better.”

🌸Chaos to Calm: Why Boring Feels Wrong (But Isn’t)
→ Explains why you’re reactive in safe dynamics and addicted to chaos in unstable ones.

These are not quick-fix “rah rah” pep talks.

They’re grounded, evidence-based, and trauma-informed—but still real enough to make you laugh through the tears.

Because I’ve been there too.

Choosing men I didn’t even like because it felt safer than being alone.

Overfunctioning so I wouldn’t have to sit with the ache of being under-loved.

Calling it strength, when it was just survival.

But healing is possible. And I’d love to help you do just that!

Here’s how:

👉Tap the 🔗 in my bio for INSTANT ACCESS!!
👉Or comment/DM me “JOIN” and I’ll send you the link.
👉Facebook: http://lovingmeafterwe.com/join

Our next live workshop will be:
January 31, 2025 at 12pm EST!

01/16/2026

This is exactly why we talk about these things
at Loving Me After We.

Because every time I call this out, there’s always a group of women saying,
“Why are you coming for women?
Men are the problem.”

And yes. Men are a PART OF the problem.

But some of you are also the problem that supports the problem.

Because some of you are actively reinforcing the same systems that keep women stuck.

Some of you are happily and deceptively leading other women into toxic relationships and unsafe dynamics because it benefits you financially.

Let’s call it what it is.

Just like some men deceive women for s*x, some women are deceiving other women
for money.

Selling shrinkage as strategy.
Selling self-betrayal as femininity.
Selling silence as peace.

That’s a grift.

And this is why male-centered women are their own worst enemy.

Some of you are literally selling content that teaches women how to betray themselves
for male approval.

And some of you aren’t even selling it, you’re in the peanut gallery cheering it on, parroting it, defending it, and shaming women who refuse to comply.

All of it serves the same function:
keeping women small, quiet, and available.

And it’s wild to watch women enforce it while calling it femininity.

01/14/2026

The sister wound is a subset of the mother wound.

And if we are really honest,much of how we interact in romantic relationships is shaped by the relationships we have with other women.

I’ve had toxic “friends” who behave just like the narcissist they hate, yet projecting that same behavior onto the women in their lives.

Because their mothers did it to them.

Some behave like monitoring spirits because it’s more so about surveillance than support so they use that to hide their hidden hatred.

Others are more outwardly hateful making slick comments to other people meant to demean you.

Then there’s the type who becomes more and more passive aggressive trying to spark a fallout.

As more and more awesome things were happening in my life it made her angrier.

She’d try to mask it but didn’t very well.

And my intuition got louder making it hard to ignore.

So I sat back and watched her make slick comments, set up situations where I might lash out and instead gracefully moved on with my life.

It felt like I was shedding “skin” because a more boundaried and graceful me showed up in that moment.

And the way my ancestors and spirit team are set up, that was in her best interest 🙂

Because I could have cursed her out because she’s used to that dynamic in her previous friendships.

But something in me detached.

I just stopped caring. INFJs call it the “door slam”.

In my mind she was literally dead to me.

Not because she had necessarily done anything egregious but because the version of me that tolerated her behavior died in that moment.

She wasn’t emotionally mature enough for a conversation because I’d watched her gaslight others who had the same issues with her.

This is the type that feeds on the reaction to her manipulation.

Loves it when you ask is everything ok, she says yes but continues with the same drama.

She told me years ago that women just seem to walk out of her life and stop talking to her without giving a reason.

🙃
What have your experiences been with the sister wound?

IG: Link in my bio/ comment JOIN to catch the Healing The Sister Wound workshop.

Facebook: http://lovingmeafterwe.com/join

01/13/2026

When resentment enters the room, betrayal is often riding her coattails 👀

You can love someone, build a life with them, and still outgrow the version of yourselves that first came together.

That doesn’t make anyone a villain.

But how you exit says a lot about your emotional maturity.

Reminder: social media couples are still just people. You never know what’s happening behind closed doors. Stop idolizing dynamics you don’t have the full picture of.

These are my opinions and not expected to be taken as fact.

What do you think happened?

I’m not saying all your exes were narcissists. I’m saying... you might not realize how deeply these relationships have a...
01/12/2026

I’m not saying all your exes were narcissists. I’m saying... you might not realize how deeply these relationships have affected you.

Comment “narc” and I’ll send you my
FREE infographic on “A Survivor’s Toolkit for
Healing After Narcissistic Abuse”.

This you?Lowering your bar so someone can limbo under it?You’re not asking for the moon. You’re asking for:Consistent co...
01/08/2026

This you?

Lowering your bar so someone can limbo under it?

You’re not asking for the moon. You’re asking for:

Consistent communication
Basic respect
Follow-through
Emotional availability
Someone who shows up

That’s not high maintenance. That’s the bare minimum.

And if a man thinks that’s too much?

Good.

He just told you everything you need to know.

Your dating exhaustion isn’t from having standards.

It’s from abandoning them every time you meet someone who shows the slightest bit of interest.

You’ve been exhausted trying to make exceptions work.

Imagine how much energy you’d have if you just enforced your standards the first time.

No more “but he had a rough childhood.”

No more “but he’s working on himself.”

No more “but when he’s good, he’s really good.”

Your standards aren’t negotiable.

They’re the price of admission. And if someone can’t afford it, they don’t get in.

Stop lowering your standards hoping someone will meet you halfway.
They won’t.

They’ll just keep going lower because you taught them that your boundaries are suggestions, not requirements.

Raise your standards. Enforce them without apology. Watch half your dating pool disappear.

Good. Those weren’t your people anyway.

The right person doesn’t make you question your standards. They make you grateful you kept them.

P.S. If you’ve been called “too picky,” “too demanding,” or “expecting too much,” you’re probably doing it right. Keep going.

P.P.S. The Loving Me After We membership is where you learn to set standards and actually stick to them without explanation, without guilt, without negotiation.

Follow + comment “join” and I’ll send you the link to sign up if you’re ready.

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We Aren’t Doing That Anymore

Hi I'm Ginger! I am a psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of Loving Me After We. My specialty is helping women overcome heartbreak, increase self-love and confidence after a toxic relationship. All while learning how to heal their hearts and finally become the best version of themselves. In order to embody confidence, emotional security and availability, you must heal your heart and become aware of the road blocks to a healthy relationship - with yourself. Working with me you will learn how to stop: ❌ Over-giving, over-functioning and people pleasing in order to secure love, attention and affection. ❌ Choosing emotionally unavailable partners ❌ Burying the emotional pain you've endured ❌ Letting narcissists and emotionally unavailable men play hot potato with your heart ❌ Entertaining men who don't know what they want (or who they want) ❌ Trying to turn your "friends with benefits" into a forever relationship ❌ Cooking, cleaning and paying the bills of men who want a mama not relationship ❌ Leading with s*x, your resume, degrees and who you are on paper ❌ Settling for the "where is this going" limbo relationships ... and learn how to heal your heart, increase your confidence and self-love so that you can become the best version of yourself and attract amazingly healthy love! Cheers to the revolution of women healing their hearts so they can stop accepting bad behavior and start the best love affair they’ve ever known - with themselves - before doing so with the men in their lives.