01/07/2025
Hi my name is Kylie, Iâm 11 years post-op from my bariatric surgery and even as a registered dietitian who was specializing in obesity, I relapsed.
My lowest weight was around 2 years post-op at 145 pounds and in 2023 I got back up to 221. I was 262 prior to surgery so I gained about 65% of the weight back. Here are some of the hard stuff I havenât talked aboutâŠ
âąTransfer addiction - I wasnât coping with food but my brain still wanted a âhitâ so alcohol became a crutch and I abused it often. Then used being drunk as an excuse for being a not great human to the friends I had at the time. It also was my way of numbing my chronic pain.
âąOverexercising - I damaged my body and depleted my nutrient levels because I was constantly working out trying to find a release.
âąIgnoring my actual mental health concerns and instead used my surface level diagnoses to enable my bad behaviors. Didnât mind sharing my problems but didnât actually want to fix anything.
âąAttention seeking and Iâd go as far to say I had started some narcissistic tendencies as a result. Again my brain was still looking for a âhitâ and social media made this much worse, I was addicted to the likes.
âąPutting unrealistic expectations on myself. Especially with toxic thoughts of âI canât be the fat Dietitianâ.
Itâs taken 34 years and a few docs to diagnose my ADHD and finally explain my brain to me. Iâm currently working with a psychiatrist to find the right meds. But Adderall has helped my food noise and attention span quite a bit so self care is easier.
I see a therapist every 3-5 weeks and havenât had an alcoholic drink in 4 years. Now that Iâm getting enough dopamine my brain doesnât look for it as much in my old vices. My health isnât perfect, still donât know why I have chronic pain but since July of this year I am down 22 #, back under 200 #. Focusing on my mental health and adding in low impact regular movement 3-4x per week to manage stress not lose weight.
The world feels like đïž right now and itâs been hard to self advocate because it seems so inconsequential but I do keep pushing and wanted to share my thoughts to motivate others to keep going too đ