11/18/2025
It’s time. The time of the year when the bereaved start to feel more than they would like…
We start to feel the chest squeeze and the pictures start to become more real in memory.
We can hear them… or we think we can.
We see more shadows in the corners just as the tears become a steady stream instead of the trickle that we have comfort with.
We are thrown, some days, into the waves of grief and even years later, it can take your breathe and attempt to drown you…..
The thoughts of “when I get there..” and “it’s not fair” and “I’m sick of fighting the pain” come and go more frequently….
It’s Kavi season here in the Gray household, it’s runs until mid January, roughly the 12th. 🪽
Kavi has decided we start a little before his birthday this year. He has been loud and has been sharing his story with me which means I think he wants me to share it with all of you. And I should. He was a prize and a treasure and I have kept him to myself for the last almost 4 years….. I have kept his old soul knowledge of things I had no idea, and am still learning. I kept his humor and his whit and his antics to just us because it felt so sacred and special and I didn’t want to share it anymore. But now, he wants more of his story out there. It’s hard to talk about at times, when I’m in my mama heart this child pulls at the strings like a puppeteer, he always has. So if you look at me with tears in my eyes know it’s because Kavi is on my heart and that space misses him desperately.
We know I live and breathe for both of my boys in heaven and my daughter in her body but they each have a season and it’s Kavi’s now.
Stayed tuned for some Kavi tales… of the 10 years he gave to us, not a single one of them wasn’t full of adventure, love and heart felt moments of pure human experience.
#68 x 2🪽👼
