RED FLAGZ

11/05/2025

10/31/2025

Yes, I know women can abandon their children too, but this fits my life….. if it resonates with you, have a laugh! 😆

10/30/2025

My ex used to have to "babysit" the kids on the weekends when I was working. WHO BABYSITS THEIR OWN CHILDREN?! 😆

10/29/2025

😈 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫

🥃 How many times did I tell myself alcohol was the reason my ex abused me and our children?
How many times did I defend him and say, “𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝑒’𝓈 𝒹𝓇𝓊𝓃𝓀”?

😡 How many times did I think,𝒾𝒻 𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓁 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇, 𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂 𝒶𝓉 𝓊𝓈?

When I stopped blaming alcohol, I started seeing the truth.
Abuse isn’t about anger or addiction — it’s about control.
It’s a choice, not a “moment.”

🃏 The truth is — alcohol and drugs do not cause abuse.
They simply lower a person’s inhibitions and reveal who they really are.
Abusers know their behavior is wrong — they just stop caring when intoxicated.

💢 And anger management? That’s not the issue either.
They manage their anger 𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝 when people are watching.
Ever seen your abuser get furious in public?
No one but you could tell. They manage their anger like pros.

🚫 Don’t buy into the idea that counseling or rehab will “fix” abusive behavior.
Change only happens when someone wants to change — and most abusers don’t.

If this hits home, please know: it’s not your fault, and you’re not alone. 💔
💜

10/29/2025

🛑 𝙈𝙚𝙣, 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙀𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙒𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣’𝙨 𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖 🛑

Seeing men post on social media about how 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷 experience life — and especially how 𝔀𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷 experience domestic abuse — is infuriating.

How does a man think he can possibly understand what it’s like to be a woman trying to survive, leave, or rebuild after abuse?

That would be like a woman claiming she knows what it’s like to be a man in an abusive relationship. Or a straight person saying they understand what it’s like to be in a same-s*x abusive partnership. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰.

When a man tells women how they think, how they feel, or what they should do, he strips away women’s individuality — and 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓅🌸𝓌𝑒𝓇
And let’s be honest: most of these guys are doing it for clout, clicks, and cash. It’s performative. It’s gross. 🤢

There is no way for a man to fully grasp what it’s like to try to survive financially as a woman when women still make about 85% of what men make (Pew Research Center, 2025).

Yes, men can experience abuse — emotionally, psychologically, or physically. But women are far more likely to be subjected to coercive control — the kind of abuse that steals your autonomy and makes you afraid to breathe wrong (Women’s Aid, 2025).

And let’s be real — women live with greater physical danger. Women can be abusive, yes, but women are more likely to be harmed, hospitalized, or killed by their abuser than men (Women’s Aid, 2025).

So please — stop platforming these male influencers who pretend to speak for women.
They don’t know our fear. They don’t know our danger. They don’t know our lives.

💋 Let women tell our own stories. 🪷

10/28/2025

Not really…. 😆🤣

10/27/2025

Well, he’s certainly doing his best!! I got all of our debt, which I took because I couldn’t be sure he would pay it. But when it came to post secondary education…. He just refused to pay it. Cool. The court should make him pay it, right?! Nope!! I paid his part and now I am pretty much bankrupt. I got a judgement. Thanks, court! Wtf. It’s fine though…. I always land on my feet. I’ll fix my credit before it’s time for my youngest son to apply for college loans. Because we know damn well we can’t depend on his dad to help, I will be the one to pay 2/3 of his college too. The courts are so blind to coercion and financial abuse. It’s pitiful.

10/26/2025

I feel called out…. 🫣 I spent years waiting for a man to change.

10/21/2025

One of the things that I am most thankful for was a “lifetime protection order”. While the state I’m from doesn’t actually give a “lifetime” PO, they do give 99 year protection orders. My daughter and I both got one. My ex was so awful that the court allowed my daughter, who was 15 at the time, to address the court. That’s super unusual. The court does not usually hear from someone who is under the age of 16. If you’re trying to leave an abusive partner, you need an attorney who understands trauma. I will forever be grateful for my attorney. My life’s goal is to be an attorney and be an TRAUMA informed attorney. Whether you’re a man or a woman, same s*x, or whatever, if you’re trying to separate from someone who is abusive, start by asking attorneys if they understand trauma and what their education on the subject is.

10/19/2025

I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to expect to be treated well and with respect.
I have the right to express my feelings and opinions.
I have the right to feel how I feel.
I have the right to my own reality.
I have the right to set boundaries.
I have the right to feel safe.

I do not have to cater to other people’s moods.
I can not control how other people will react to circumstances around them.
It’s not my job to fix anyone.

As a three dimensional autonomous being these rights belong to me. And I will never again forget it. 💜

10/18/2025

I just paid $400 for 8 bags of groceries. But maybe if I budget better, I won’t have such a hard time financially 😂🫣🤦🏼‍♀️