Tiffany Clark-Barber CARC journaling and private coaching

08/12/2025

Here is the zoom link for tonight’s class on the book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. The class will be about 1-1.5 hours. We are doing chapters 1&2. Please feel free to join us. It’s a free Bible study based around the book by Lysa Terkeurst.

Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83539821894?pwd=fOUfG8zVsoI38JEZ1EpPNeqbBI1pX9.1

Meeting ID: 835 3982 1894
Passcode: forgive

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07/31/2025

I’m really going to try and get back to posting on this page regularly 🥴 I manage a lot of pages and real life things and sometimes this one falls thru the cracks.

However- I plan to start a book study on August 5th and every Tuesday night for the next several weeks. The time will be 7 pm central time (please adjust this to your time zone if you want to join). This study will not have a charge- it’s something that I think a lot of people could benefit from.

So here’s the info!
What: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst.
When: every Tuesday night at 7 pm, starting August 5th
Where: via Zoom- I will post the info in the comments here. You do not have to have a paid zoom account to join because I have an account. I chose to use zoom as opposed to FB Live so that we can have discussion and also so I know who is in the “room,” and monitor things.
What you need: preferably a copy of the book- you can order it in paperback from Amazon or most booksellers. If you have Kindle Unlimited, it’s a free read.
**again this is a free class, and we will be following the study that was written to go hand in hand with the book**

This is a faith based book/study and there are lots of biblical references for those who aren’t familiar with this author. As a Christian, with god as my higher power, this is important to me. I understand not everyone believes this way so I feel it’s important to disclose so everyone is aware. 💙

If you have questions please message me or comment on the post and I’ll do my best to answer. You do not have to have the book before the first class, it will be more of an intro to me and my experience with the struggle of forgiveness and an intro to the book. Each class will last an hour to an hour and a half-ish, I don’t want to limit conversations and you can come and go if needed.

01/07/2024

Worry is a downfall of mine. I worry about things a lot. And for me- it’s because I seek control wherever I can find it. Living a life with a medically complex child and as a caretaker of someone w dementia- there are a lot of things out of my control. A lot.

When Eli was hurt there were even more things outside of my control. And I do not do well with the unknown. I like control. I like structure. I like to know where the day is going. Because (in my traumatized brain) when I don’t have control- things like my baby nearly losing his life happen.

I make things that have little consequence paramount in my day. I take small things and make them bigger than they are.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it serves me well- in the fact that my son who I’ve been told multiple time shouldn’t be here is thriving. That the neurosis I’ve created has made me a formidable mama bear and has given me access to many of my callings. I get stuff done and I can do with with precision and love even when it’s not what everyone wants to do.

But I know it’s also not giving everything over to god as I’m called to do. I’ve been reading a lot today about what god says about worrying and here are a few gems to save if you find yourself in the same place.

Maybe just for a bit- you can sit down your worries. Maybe I can too. Let’s give faith a shot. I love you 💙

12/24/2023

💙

12/17/2023

Hey friends! I want to invite you to tomorrow nights zoom trauma class. 7 pm. $10 per person.

The lesson tomorrow is Living Authentically after Trauma. A lot of people have suffered major traumas. And a lot of people are left reeling in the wake of trauma. We are going to discuss ways to be you while still being true to your life experiences. There is no doubt trauma changes us at our very core, it’s been proven to change our brain and the way our body responds to everyday things. But learning how to cope and overcome can help us honor ourselves and living authentically.

I hope to see you there! 💙

12/11/2023

Tonight’s class is about Grace. And what it means to have grace for ourselves and others on our healing journey.

It’s a good conversation and an important on because often time trauma survivors aren’t super good at grace for themselves. 💙

12/11/2023

Unsure what to get someone on your gift list? How about the gift of mental health?

$100 gift certificates entitle the recipient to 4 private one hour sessions or 6 community trauma classes. Classes are done via zoom and have usually 2-5 other attendees who are also on a trauma journey. Private sessions are done via phone, zoom, or video (FaceTime or google video).

My areas of work are addiction and abuse recovery, trauma, military and veteran populations, special needs/medically complex parenting. I also have extended training in LGBTQIAA+ populations, dealing with PTSD, children and adolescents, Autism/neurodivergence, and religious trauma.

11/10/2023

I’ve been asked a lot how do I do the things I do, see the things I see, and still live life and be happy.

The answer is compartmentalization. If I tried to deal with all the things, all the time. I would be a wreck.

This is my easiest visual for when people ask me how to do it.

In my mind I have an office. And in my office is a desk, and wall to wall shelves full of boxes. On my desk are the things that I have to do daily. There’s a box for my family, a box for my jobs, and a box for medical. Those are my daily things. Every other thing and person in my life- don’t live on my desk top.

All the other things lives in boxes. Neatly labeled with the lid on them. And only come off the shelf when I have the need or desire to pull them down. The emotions about Eli’s abuse and his abuser-in a box. Emotions about my childhood- in a box. All the things I don’t have the energy to deal with day in and day out- in a box.

Some people see this as a negative thing or as avoidance. I don’t. I see it as a super useful tool that allows me to live with purpose and clarity. Doesn’t mean I don’t ever pull them down- because I do as I work on myself and work towards healing. But it means that I don’t wallow in it all day everyday or get lost in the sauce of it bc it’s just laying all around.

If you’re struggling with overwhelming emotions and things that you can’t seem to deal with- clean up your mental workspace. It really makes it easier to be intentional about your healing bc in order to put things away into those boxes- you have to label them, even if it’s just super broadly- to pack them up. And labeling and acknowledging is part of the battle.

📦 ❤️‍🩹📦

11/06/2023

Tonight’s trauma class is focused on The Mother Wound. What is the Mother Wound?

The mother wound inside of us isn’t just from our mother- it’s carried over from generations before her.

It’s carried over from the women who weren’t allowed a voice. It’s carried over from those who were held down by religion and society of their era. It comes from ignorance yes, but it also comes from fear. It comes from poverty. It comes from lack of emotional intelligence. It comes from desperation.

So we will talk about first and foremost acknowledging the mother wound and addressing your own wounds from previous generations. And how to move thru the steps of dealing with your wound and to ways to help stop the perpetuation of generational wounds. We are specifically focusing on the mother aspect tonight.

If you would like to join in feel free to message me for info. Classes are $10 per person per class. 💙

10/28/2023

Attending training for Understanding Military Culture in the realm of behavioral health. The opening keynote talk was about Medical Trauma and it not only falls into the area of caring for military- but it falls heavily into my abuse recovery section and working with caregivers of special needs and medically complex children/adults in the aftermath of abuse.

The thing that hit me the most was the statement by the presenter of what is needed in mental healthcare in dealing with medical trauma. What she said was greatly needed and lacking was “Holistic evidence based trauma informed person centered care that’s flexible, with advocacy” and I honestly feel that what I offer my clients.

With my life experiences and the things we as a family have experienced, I have first hand views of so much of the things they covered. I am the mom of a medically complex adult who was put in his situation due to abuse at the hands of someone outside of our home. The medical community by and large has written him off so many times. I am the wife of a military veteran who is partially disabled due to his time in the military and has had to fight very hard for the benefits he receives. Both of these demographics are highly discriminated against and are disenfranchised.

I’m learning a lot that will not only help my client base, but also gives me ideas for my own family. 💙

10/25/2023

Why do we keep having failed relationships? And I say we bc I’m not acting like I haven’t had a bucket load of failures in my lifetime.

It’s because we go for the dysfunction that’s “normal” as opposed to having to make sustained changes and getting what we truly desire and are worth.

For people raised in dysfunction, it feels normal and natural to have chaos- we weren’t taught what healthy relationships looked like. We saw disrespect. We saw infidelity. We saw addiction. We saw narcissism. We saw love bombing. We saw lack of accountability. We saw “stand by your man” for the sake of religion. That’s our normal. So when we see that, it looks like love. Because we want to believe that that’s what was in our home of origin.

It’s not love. It’s a bouquet of red flags disguised as roses. And it’s less than you deserve. You don’t deserve someone who puts you last. You don’t deserve someone who doesn’t respect you. You don’t deserve some unhealed hot mess of addiction and narcissistic tendencies.

You do deserve love. You do deserve
Respect. You do deserve someone who is working on themselves. You do deserve someone who can say I’m sorry and I’ll do better.

Let’s start taking an emotional and moral inventory of ourselves first, and then those that we think we want to build something with. Because it’s exhausting going thru love and hate cycles over and over again- I know because I did it. But now that I know better and have vowed to not accept less than I’m worth, it pains me to watch in others that I love and care about. 💙

10/18/2023

Copied from the book The Secret She Kept by Elle Grey

“here’s the thing—we can either be held captive by our pain and grief, or we can channel them into something better. We can choose to take control of our lives—even if we’ve lived for a long time feeling that we have no control over our lives. That’s a choice we make every single day,” So, you can choose to let your grief, as entitled to it as you are, define you. You can choose to let it s***f out that fire I see in you. Or you can choose to harness it. You can choose to let it temper you and make you stronger than steel.”

This is very very true. We can’t control the things that have happened to us and we can’t change the past. But we can choose if and how we move forward or if we live under the binds of our trauma.

I for one, refuse to do that. I refuse to let the pain and hard lessons be in vain. I refuse to settle for what people are willing to give and not holding them to the same standards I hold myself to. I refuse to live in the past or let it rule my current choices.

I choose to embrace healing. I choose the terms of my relationships and only hold on to those that enrich and pour into me as much as I pour into them. I choose to be happy. I choose to be strong. I choose empathy, education, and change.

My trauma didn’t give me a choice. But I took it and refused to let it have a choice in in my current and in my future. 💙