12/28/2025
🦋Rewiring the Nervous System: Why Gratitude is the Ultimate Act of Healing🦋
We often talk about "breaking generational curses" as if it’s a single, dramatic cinematic moment—a bridge burned or a final confrontation. But in reality, the work of breaking a cycle is much quieter, much more repetitive, and far more profound. It looks like a pen hitting paper in a silent room at 6:00 or 7:00AM (joke for any kids who might be reading this), choosing a new thought before the old one can take root.
For me, that work began when I realized I was carrying an inheritance I never asked for: the inheritance of rage. 🧬
🧨The Inheritance of Rage
In many families, anger is passed down like a heavy, rusted heirloom. We are taught—either through observation or survival—that when we lose control of a situation, we must regain it through intensity. If you grew up in this environment, like I did, your nervous system was likely trained to live in a state of high alert. You learned that when life doesn't go your way, you meet it with fire.
The problem with using anger as a primary tool is that it eventually burns the person holding the handle. I spent years being the person who "blew up." I hated the way it felt in my chest, the way it clouded my judgment, and the way it made the people I loved feel small. I didn't want to be that person, but I didn't know how to stop the train once it left the station.
🧱The Weight of the Next Generation
The turning point came when I looked at the "why" behind my healing. Breaking a generational curse isn't just a gift you give to yourself; it is a profound act of love for the next generation.
If I don’t heal the way I handle disappointment, I am essentially handing that same heavy, rusted heirloom to my children, my nieces, my nephews, and my community. I am telling them that the world is a battlefield and that peace is only possible when things go perfectly... when things go only the way they want them to.
When we heal, we stop the "leak." We ensure that the trauma we inherited ends with us. We trade the legacy of reactive anger for a legacy of emotional intelligence. We teach the next generation that you can be frustrated without being destructive, and that you can be disappointed while still being grounded. Healing is the most selfless thing you can do, because it changes the trajectory of lives you haven't even met yet.
⛓️😫 ➡️The Reparenting Practice: From "Have To" to "Get To"
To stop the cycle, I had to reparent my own nervous system. I had to teach myself the skills my environment couldn't: Emotional Regulation and Perspective.
✍️I started a daily practice of writing down five things I’m grateful for. At first, it felt... forced. It felt "fake." But I persisted because I knew I was rewiring a brain that had been conditioned for decades to look for threats.
The most radical part of this journey has been the shift from Obligation to Opportunity.
The Old Default: "I have to deal with this mess. Nothing ever goes right." (Cue: The rise of anger🌡️).
The Reparented Voice: "I get to have a home that is lived in. I get to solve problems because I am capable and safe." (Cue: The presence of peace 🌿).
When you change "I have to" to "I get to," you take the power back from the situation. You stop being a victim of your circumstances and start being the architect of your own peace.
🛑🔥Permission to Feel, Without the Fire
I want to be clear: breaking this curse doesn't mean suppressing your feelings or becoming a "positivity robot." You are ALLOWED to be angry! Anger is a valid human emotion that often tells us when a boundary has been crossed or an injustice has occurred.
But there is a massive difference between FEELING anger and BEING anger.
By starting my day with gratitude, I’m building a "buffer" for my nervous system. I am creating a gap between the trigger and the reaction. So when things inevitably do go wrong, and they will... because guess what? life happens... I don't immediately reach for the fire. I reach for the perspective I practiced that morning.
🧗Healing is hard. It is uncomfortable to dismantle the only defense mechanism you’ve ever known. But on the other side of that anger is a life of freedom. YOU'RE FREEDOM. You are not your ancestors' rage. You are the peace you choose to build every single morning. You are the peace you choose to gift to those you love most. You are your own peace...
https://thecouchfl.com/good-reads/f/rewiring-the-nervous-system