Nicole Byrne, LMFT

01/28/2026

New Newsletter: I Tried Not to Over-Function at Disneyland. Here's What I Noticed.

When you're solo parenting - or doing anything alone without support - you can't exactly "stop over-functioning." There's no one else to do it.

In this week's newsletter, I share what a family trip to Disneyland taught me about over-functioning when you're actually alone:
✨ The difference between having support vs. doing it all yourself
✨ What happens when you snap at your kids (and how to repair without spiraling)
✨ The real question: "How do I not burn out when there literally is no one else?"
✨ Why sometimes you can't do less - but you can stop punishing yourself for being human

If you're in a season where you're carrying everything alone, this one's for you.

Read here 👇

Specializing in over-functioning, burnout, and helping high-achievers in California & Nevada

Sometimes you can't do less. But you can stop punishing yourself for being human.

01/21/2026

New Blog Post: 10 More Signs You're Over-Functioning (That You're Probably Missing)

Waking up with dread even when nothing's wrong? Snapping at people you love, then spiraling with guilt? Always on the verge of tears or breaking?

These aren't character flaws - they're signs of over-functioning.

In this post, I share 10 subtle signs of over-functioning that most people miss:
✨ Waking up with dread (even when nothing's actually wrong)
✨ Snapping at loved ones - then spiraling with guilt
✨ Constantly "on the verge" of tears, rage, or breaking
✨ Exhausted but unable to rest (even when you have time)
✨ Looking at your life thinking "how did I end up here?"
✨ Feeling resentful of other people's "freedom"
✨ Can't remember doing something just because YOU wanted to
✨ Performing "fine" even when you're drowning
✨ Feeling guilty for having needs
✨ Reading this thinking "maybe I just need to try harder?"

If you're checking most of these boxes, you're not broken. You're burnt out. And that's different.

Read the full post - link in the comments 👇

01/16/2026

There’s a difference between being “nice” and being kind.

Nice = avoiding discomfort (even when it hurts someone later)
Kind = being honest because you actually care

The lipstick example hits different when you realize: the person who tells you is the one who actually cares about your wellbeing - not just their own comfort.

This came up in my podcast conversation on “Say Hello to Your Therapist” where we talked about people-pleasing, boundaries, and what authentic relationships actually look like.

If you’re someone who avoids hard conversations to be “nice” - or you’re frustrated with people who do this to you - this distinction matters.

Full podcast episode link in bio 🎙️

(Yesterday I shared the full episode - today I’m sharing clips that really stood out. More coming this week!)

podcastclip nicevskind honestconversations

01/14/2026

New Podcast Episode: People-Pleasing, Burnout & Trustworthy Relationships

I was recently a guest on "Say Hello to Your Therapist" podcast where I talked about:

✨ The signs of people-pleasing and why it's so exhausting
✨ My 5-point checklist for identifying trustworthy people
✨ How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps with people-pleasing patterns
✨ Setting boundaries without guilt (especially in motherhood)
✨ The difference between being "nice" and being authentic

If you've ever said yes when you meant no, or questioned whether someone in your life is truly trustworthy - this conversation offers practical insights and compassionate guidance.

I'll link where you can listen in the comments below!

01/13/2026

Is taking two kids to the aquarium by yourself really self-care?

My therapist said yes - and it changed how I think about what burnt-out moms actually need.

Most weekends look like parks, libraries, play dates. Things my kids want, that I facilitate.

But this past weekend, I chose something I was genuinely excited about (that they'd enjoy too).

The difference? I wasn't just surviving the outing. I was actually living it.

Self-care for moms isn't always solo vacations or spa days. Sometimes it's choosing activities that light YOU up - even when your kids are there.

I wrote about this (and the connection to mom burnout) in my latest newsletter:
https://byrnen.substack.com/p/we-went-to-the-aquarium-and-it-counted

If you're a burnt-out mom who's forgotten what genuinely excites you - I'm here. Specializing in mom burnout therapy for California & Nevada.

I took two kids to the aquarium by myself. My therapist said it counted as self-care. Here's why.

01/08/2026

Are you burnt out or just tired?

Here's how to tell the difference:
❌ Just tired = sleep helps
✅ Burnt out = exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix
❌ Just tired = you still feel like yourself
✅ Burnt out = you can't remember who you used to be
❌ Just tired = a rough few days
✅ Burnt out = you've been running on empty for months (or years)

If you're a mom who's been:
• Snapping at your kids over small things
• Feeling resentful of your partner (especially if they travel for work)
• Fantasizing about getting sick just to have an excuse to rest
• Questioning if you're a good enough mother..you might be dealing with mom burnout, not just exhaustion.

I wrote about the 15 signs of maternal burnout that go beyond "just tired" - plus what actually helps when self-care advice falls flat.
Read it here: counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog/2026/1/6/mom-burnout-the-checklist-no-one-talks-about-15-signs-youre-not-just-tired

You're not failing. You're burnt out. And that's different.
💛 Nicole

12/30/2025

This past holiday season, we skipped a lot.

No Santa photos.
No big holiday events.
No perfectly curated family memories.
No holiday card.

Instead, I’m practicing something that doesn’t get talked about enough — giving myself permission to be a just okay mom, and letting others feel disappointed.

I wrote about what that’s been like, and why this kind of “good enough” can be deeply regulating for burned-out, over-functioning women.

What did you give yourself permission to skip?

(And to disappoint people when being “good enough” means choosing myself)

12/18/2025

Why don’t they understand my boundary even after I’ve explained it 10 times?

Because explaining works when the problem is confusion - but it doesn’t work when the problem is their discomfort with your boundary.

More explanation just gives them more to push back on.
Your boundary doesn’t need their agreement to be real. 💛

Click the link in my bio to watch the the full video.

12/11/2025

New Video: What Happens When Someone Won't Accept Your Boundary

Have you ever set a boundary and instead of respect, you got pressure?

Shaming. Guilting. Urgency. Messages from other people asking what's going on.

And suddenly you're explaining yourself endlessly, wondering if you were too harsh.

Here's what's actually happening:

**Repair** respects your choice—even when it's uncomfortable.

**Pressure** tries to move you out of your choice so someone else can feel better.

In my latest video, I break down:
→ The difference between pressure and repair
→ Why over-functioners get pulled into endless explaining
→ What to do when someone won't accept your limit

You don't need agreement for a boundary to be real.

Watch the full video on YouTube 👇

If you're navigating this right now, you're not alone 💙

🌟 you set a boundary, most people expect things to calm down.But sometimes the opposite happens — the pressure ramps up.You’re questioned. Guilted. Pushed t...

12/11/2025

You don’t need agreement for a boundary to be real.

You don’t need understanding. You don’t need approval. You don’t even need them to think it’s fair.

Your boundary exists because you need it. Full stop.

Your job isn’t to make the other person comfortable with your limit. Your job is to notice what’s happening—and choose what’s workable for you.

Full video on my YouTube (link in the comments) about what happens when someone responds to your boundary with pressure instead of repair.

12/09/2025

3 questions I wish I'd asked myself years ago:

1. When did I learn my worth depends on how much I do?
2. What would happen if I stopped trying so hard?
3. Who taught me my needs come last?

Burnout has roots. And understanding those roots? That's how we stop the cycle instead of just managing symptoms.

If you're burnt out from over-functioning, these questions might help you see the pattern.

P.S. Just published: 10 Signs You're Over-Functioning (And What to Do) - link in comments 💙

12/09/2025

Sometimes the urge to explain isn’t about clarity.
It’s about trying to settle someone else’s discomfort.

You don’t have to keep talking for your boundary to stand.