12/21/2022
from the NAMI BLOG: "It started in fifth grade: the thoughts and feelings of wanting to die, to disappear. It took me decades to learn how to manage it, and I’m still learning every day. I say manage because that’s what I do: manage. It isn’t just going away for me.
In my late teens, I struggled with drug use. I didn’t care if I lived or died because I didn’t feel like my life was worth living in this world. I was able to come off the drugs through a six-week drug class I took to expunge an arrest. After getting through the program, I worked on seeing my own self-worth. Even after this work, I later had three episodes of serious suicidal ideation over the next 20 years.
Depression can be a lifelong rollercoaster that goes up, down, fast, slow — and sometimes it’s a smooth, steady ride. I really want people to know that the negative thought cycle that accompanies depression often is not a “one and done” victory. Survival is something to celebrate but so is the journey.
I don’t want to focus on the whys — why people experience suicidal ideation — that’s for my therapy sessions (yes, I go to therapy, and I take medication). What I want to focus on is how to help yourself and others.
What Does Suicidal Ideation Feel Like?
.. " https://tinyurl.com/nasy8d9y
