Ayla Fleming LLC

Ayla Fleming LLC Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Ayla Fleming LLC, Psychotherapist, Philadelphia, PA.

🌱 Family addiction therapist for women
⚡ Break the painful cycle of codependency
✨Weekly therapy or intensives- let's pick what's best for you
đź’¬ DM me to schedule your FREE consult
đź“ŤPA, NJ, NY Reach out for a free therapy consultation at https://www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist
Disclaimer: This site is for education and is not intended as medical advice.

11/10/2025

It’s not that I don’t believe in medication. But so many women in addicted relationships are immediately taught to believe their symptoms are the primary problem—anxiety, depression, panic, numbness. And when you’re convinced you are the issue, it becomes easier to stay in traumatizing relationships, to tolerate what hurts, and to blame yourself for reacting like a human being in an unsafe situation.

The medical-industrial complex often pushes the idea that the path to healing is to think differently about the situation and take medication to quiet the symptoms. But when you’re living in chaos, hypervigilance, or emotional whiplash, no amount of “changing your thoughts” is going to fix the fact that you’re drowning.

As a therapist for women in addicted or dysfunctional relationships, my goal is to help you see your situation rationally and objectively—not to demonize your partner or your family, but to help you finally understand what’s actually happening instead of blaming yourself for surviving it. I help you normalize the shame, guilt, self-blame, attempts to control unsafe situations, and the triggers that come from childhood and follow you into adulthood. Those patterns didn’t come out of nowhere. They were learned. And they show up again when we choose partners who feel like “home.”

You are not only:
Sick
Your diagnosis.
Your relationship choices.

When we love someone with addiction, we lose ourselves in ways that feel subtle at first—until one day, you can’t recognize your own needs, values, or intuition.

💛 ➡️ My job is to help you remember who you are… or discover yourself for the first time. To help you live in alignment with your values rather than the roles, symptoms, or labels the DSM or insurance companies decide are “you.”

If you’re ready to identify who you are and start doing it on purpose, contact me today.

đź“žSchedule a free 15-minute consult call via the link in my bio, or call/text/email me at ayla@aylaflemingllc.com or 267-217-3017

11/06/2025

Sometimes it’s not a fight. It’s could be an eye roll. A sigh. A “why are you so dramatic?!" Or they're silent or start ignoring you after you finally get up the courage to say "no". If you’ve loved someone and felt like you were losing yourself, you know the feeling — like the whole relationship depends on your tone, your timing, your ability to keep the peace. You start monitoring their moods. You talk yourself out of your needs, saying they "need the support more". And instead of them exploding, YOU explode. And the shame cycle continues. And slowly, you disappear.

Healthy love isn’t built on twisting ourselves into pretzels. They aren't "healthy" because we do everything perfectly. Or watch their every move. we can't be with them 24/7 to help them through all life's challenges. Nor can we change our entire lives for them. It's not a reality based expectation, nor sustainable. Healthy relationships and individuals are built on self-responsibility, honesty, and space for strong individual selves. You can’t protect someone from their pain by losing yourself in it. "No” isn’t rejection — it’s truth, health, and safety.

đź’›
I’m Ayla, a therapist helping women find calm within chaos and come home to themselves after loving someone with addiction, family drama, or other dysfunctional relationships. Whether you decide to stay or go, you matter just as much as your loved ones.

🔗 Book a free 15-min call to see if we're a good fit— link in bio

11/05/2025

Sometimes it’s a look. A comment. Forgetting to do something they asked. Even saying no. Or having a need that conflicts with theirs.

If you’ve loved someone in active addiction, you know the feeling: like walking on a tightrope, your chest tight, stomach twisted, heart racing, and every decision measured to avoid triggering their anger, disappointment, or relapse. You become hyper-aware of their moods, second-guess your choices, and constantly weigh your own needs against theirs.

It’s exhausting. And over time, you start losing yourself. You dim your feelings, silence your needs, and question your worth — all while trying to “keep them safe” or “manage the chaos.”

Here’s the truth: resilient relationships don’t operate this way. They thrive when each partner:

Takes responsibility for their own behavior

Respects boundaries and needs

Even if you're afraid that your loved one won't engage in the relationship this way, it doesn't mean you need to behave in a toxic way as well. Denial, enabling, minimizing, irritability, and gas lighting are hallmarks of codependent relationships.

If just one of you gets off the merry-go-round, it can actually have a huge impact on your relationship. You can't force them to want to have a relationship with you or engage the way you do, but you can round yourself in love and authenticity again.

You cannot control another person’s use, choices, or emotional state. And it’s not your fault when they relapse. The healthiest relationships are built on two people showing up whole, accountable, and grounded — not on monitoring, being monitored, or controlling.

đź’›

🛋️ I’m Ayla, a therapist in PA, NJ, and NY, providing coaching worldwide. I help women find calm within chaos and reclaim their sense of self after loving someone with addiction. Whether you decide to stay or go.

🔗 Book a free 15-minute chat to see if we’re a good fit — link in bio
đź“ž Call or text 267-217-3017
đź“© Email me: Ayla@aylaflemingllc.com

11/04/2025

You meant it in the moment. You wanted them to believe it. But how could they believe you, when you didn't even believe it yourself?

Each time you fail to follow through, you give another piece of yourself away. You're not sure who you resent more- them, or yourself.

Each conversation, you brace for disappointment, your boundaries disintegrate a little more, and you push aside your needs, in the hope that, this time, they will "make good" on the second, third, or even tenth chance.

Loving someone in active addiction is like trying to hold water in your hands: No matter how tightly you squeeze, it slips through. And the more you try to control it, the more crazy, embarassed, exhausted, and powerless we feel.

Here’s the truth:

You cannot make someone stop using, lying, or hurting themselves. You cannot carry someone else's recovery on your back. You cannot even know what is best for someone else, what's really going to be "worth it" to them, if they're capable, or how they will finally get sober. Unfortunately, so many people fall through the cracks of this disease, despite having all the support in the world.

What you can do is reclaim your own life, hold your boundaries, and stop giving away parts of yourself that deserve respect, safety, and peace. *Letting someone else hurt you isn't love- it's enabling*

đź’›

🛋️ I’m Ayla, a therapist in PA, NJ, and NY, providing coaching worldwide. I help women find calm within chaos and rebuild their sense of self after loving someone with addiction. Whether you decide to stay or go.

📞 Book a free 15-minute chat to see if we’re a good fit — call or text 267-217-3017
đź“© Email: Ayla@aylaflemingllc.com


Disclaimer: Posts are not therapy or diagnosis. Comments/messages aren’t monitored or confidential. If you’re in crisis, call 911 or go to your nearest ER. For support, text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org

11/02/2025

Don’t leave! 💛 It’s not that your judgments are totally wrong. But sometimes, our reactions can feel too harsh.

Why?

Because they’re coming from emotion dysregulation and trauma; not groundedness. And when we’re triggered, it’s hard to trust that our thoughts are fully rational. So instead, we call ourselves “mean.” We gaslight ourselves.

The truth?

âś… Your instincts are probably right.
❌ But, it’s the intensity of your feelings, the out-of-control reactions, and the refusal to set boundaries to “keep the peace” that keeps you spiraling.

Learning to notice your triggers and respond from a grounded place is the key to breaking the cycle — WITHOUT abandoning your instincts.
Hi, I’m Ayla 💛
I’m an psychotherapist who helps women stop losing themselves in relationships with an addicted loved one — and untangle from dysfunctional family and relationship patterns.
For good.
Whether you decide to stay or go.

Licensed to treat clients in PA, NJ, NY. Coaching available worldwide.

If this hits home, you don’t have to keep navigating it alone.

✨ Book a FREE chat with me through the link in my bio — or reach out:
đź“ž 267-217-3017
📧 ayla@aylaflemingllc.com

đź’› Follow for more on healing from codependency, family dysfunction, and self-abandonment.

11/01/2025

Odds are, it has been a while.

Maybe it was even, before you met your partner.

Or maybe, you learned to "hide" yourself during childhood:
Because it was safer to pretend you didn't care, or you would accept crumbs, rather than have needs. đź’›

Sometimes, it’s easier to stop speaking-
because you know it might push them away.
The relationship might end.
Or they might leave you...

If they leave you, it might feel like "proof" that there's something wrong with you..

The truth?

There's nothing wrong with you. But, you've been making yourself small for far too long.

You deserve clarity. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel safe. You ARE enough. Just as you are.
Hi, I’m Ayla 🌱
I’m a women's therapist providing virtual therapy to women in NY, PA, and NJ and coaching worldwide.

I help women untangle from dysfunctional family and relationship patterns in their families, relationships, and even at work.
For ALWAYS.
Whether you decide to stay or go.

If this hit home, you don’t have to keep navigating it alone.

Follow me for more tips

✨ Book a FREE 15-minute chat with me through the link in my bio.
To book, you can also call/text me at 267-217-3017, or email me at ayla@aylaflemingllc.com

I can't wait to hear from you đź’›

10/31/2025

Did you lose yourself, or is the real you hiding?

Bach and Winnicott said we split off from ourselves to be 'palatable' when our beliefs, opinions, and needs differ from what a caregiver expects of us. As a child, we feel our life is at risk if we don't mask the parts of ourselves that our caregiver feels uncomfortable with.

How many of us are doing that automatically in our relationships as adults?

Have you really lost yourself, or are you making yourself small to avoid losing them or avoid a feeling similar to fear of death?
🛋️I'm ayla and I'm a therapist for women who fear they've lost themselves in relationships characterized by a loved one's addiction or mental illness.
Serving clients virtually in NJ, NY, & PA

If you're ready to escape the maze and feel grounded and whole again, contact me today đź’›
Free therapy consult via link in bio 🌱

10/30/2025

When you love someone struggling with addiction...
You know what you want,
but you’re afraid to say it (or sometimes, say it again)...

Sometimes it’s easier to stop speaking-
because you know it might push them away.
The relationship might end.

Or, they might tell you again that you’re “ruining things.”

And you wonder when you started believing them…
and stopped believing yourself.

Still, deep down, you want:
đź’› Them to start prioritizing you over drugs and alcohol
đź’› Them to stop denying their use
💛 To stop feeling like you have to go through their phone or drawers to find out what’s going on
💛 To know if they’re really committed to you—or to the substances
💛 To understand why they keep calling you “controlling”
💛 To know why you can’t fully trust them with your kids (or if you're an adult child of an alcoholic, how you even survived childhood)
đź’› To help them become the best version of themselves
💛 To understand why they’re giving up—on themselves, the relationship, or their child

None of this makes you crazy, needy, or controlling.
It means you care.
It means you’re human.
It means you're trying to get out of the ceazy-making maze that is addiction.
It's like you're Alice in Wonderland- totally disoriented.

But most of all? It means you’re hurting and struggling with the disease of addiction, too.

You deserve clarity. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel safe.
Hi, I’m Ayla 💛
I’m a Bowen Therapist helping women untangle from dysfunctional family and relationship patterns- for ALWAYS. Whether you decide to stay or go.

If this hit home, you don’t have to keep navigating it alone.
✨ Book a free 15-minute consultation through the link in my bio. I have made it my life's mission to help you get there. You deserve this. And your loved ones will ultimately benefit from your healing as well.

10/28/2025

When a loved one has addiction…
It can feel like you’re falling — fast —
and you’re begging them to catch you.
But instead… they just stand there and watch.

You try harder. You love harder.
You take responsibility for both of you.
You convince yourself: If I can just be enough…
maybe they’ll show up this time.

But addiction steals presence.
It hijacks the person you love.
It turns crisis into chaos,
and you’re left feeling invisible, unimportant,
and somehow to blame for their absence.

If you grew up in dysfunction or addiction,
you learned to over-function in relationships —
to rescue, to fix, to hold it all together.
But you deserve someone who reaches back.
Someone who catches you, too. đź’›
🛋️ Hi! I’m Ayla — a therapist for women in NY, NJ & PA.
I help women who feel like they’ve lost themselves
in relationships shaped by addiction, mental illness,
and emotionally immature family dynamics.
Together, I can help you rebuild confidence, boundaries, and safety —
so you can stop free-falling and start standing tall again.

✨ If this resonates…
Follow for more support
and click the link in my bio to book a free therapy consult today.

10/27/2025

The loneliness of making yourself small
isn’t just about being quiet.

It’s the ache of:
✦ dimming your joy so no one rolls their eyes
✦ laughing it off when someone crosses a line
✦ needing connection so badly that you disappear to keep it
✦ being “easy” so no one leaves
✦ holding back opinions to avoid the argument
✦ being chosen… but never really known

If you grew up around family dysfunction or alcoholism…
you probably got really good at shrinking yourself to keep the peace.
Or to get others to pay attention to you.

And without realizing it…
you found friends or partners who needed you to stay small, too.

But that survival skill?
It’s getting old.
And deep down, you know you deserve so much more.

You deserve relationships where you don’t have to disappear
to belong. 🤍
Hi, I’m Ayla. I help women who’ve lost themselves in their relationships find their grounded, whole selves again.

If this hit something in you… you’re not alone.
Follow for more support — and reach out if you’re ready to feel like you again.

Schedule a free therapy consult with me via the link in bio or go to calendly.com/aylathetherapist or text 267-217-3017.

10/23/2025

It isn’t a bad thing until pity turns into action — or you start thinking you know every single thing about someone else, or it's your job to "fix" them.

Remember: when someone tells you how you should feel, they’re saying your feelings aren't allowed. That itself is controlling.

That’s why this matters so much if you’re struggling with guilt or shame about how you feel in a relationship that’s been abusive or emotionally harmful.

Taking space, saying enough is enough, or ending the relationship isn’t mean or selfish.
It’s an act of self-respect — a way of protecting your well-being from someone trying to extinguish your sense of self.

đź’› You are allowed to choose peace over chaos.
Schedule a free therapy consult with me via the link in bio.
You can also email me through my website (link in bio) or call/text 267-217-3017.

Address

Philadelphia, PA
19123

Opening Hours

Tuesday 9am - 3pm
Wednesday 9am - 3pm
Thursday 9am - 3pm

Telephone

+12672173017

Website

http://www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist

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