Pier Parent Coaching

12/26/2025

We talk a lot about kids needing friends. But we forget, parents need them too.

Here’s what decades of research and real-life parenting has shown me:

- Parents with good friends cope better with stress.

- They’re less isolated, less burnt out, and less likely to take their frustration out at home.

- They laugh more, vent more, and refill their own cup.

- And all of that spills directly into how they show up for their kids.

Your child doesn’t just watch what you do for them, they watch how you live your own life. If they see you leaning on friends, nurturing connections, and not trying to “do it all alone,” they internalize that community and joy are part of a healthy life.

💡 And here’s the overlooked truth → your friendships are part of your parenting.

📌 Not a luxury. Not “extra.” But essential.
So maybe the best thing you can do for your child this week… is text that friend back. Make that coffee date. Laugh about something silly. Because a parent who feels supported is the best gift a kid can get.

12/23/2025

Let’s be real, parenting teens is like walking a tightrope. You want them to feel safe, confident, loved... but not so cocky that they think they invented life.

So no, I’m not out here lying to my kids. But here are a few things I intentionally keep to myself:

🔹 How often I’m winging it.
They think I’ve got it all figured out. Good. They need that security.

🔹 That I used to be just like them.
Moody, messy, unsure. I don’t need to trauma-dump all the time to be relatable.

🔹 When I’m proud of them AND they’re being unkind.
I save the “I’m proud of you” for moments that also come with accountability.

🔹 That I cry after arguments.
Not out of guilt, but because I care. And because emotional regulation is hard, for all of us.

🔹 That sometimes I want to run away.
Parenting is beautiful and brutal. Both can be true.

None of this makes me a bad mom. It means I understand my emotional boundaries and how to navigate MY emotional needs without harming my teen.

It makes me human.
If you’re hiding a few things too, welcome. You probably know what’s right for you and your child.

Follow along.

12/22/2025

It’s about becoming aware so we break the cycle, not pass it down.

Most of us were raised to believe that busyness = success and that “holding it all together” = strength. We now call it high-functioning anxiety and it’s sneaky, because it looks like you’re doing great.

Until your child starts doing it too.

1. Sighing loudly when you’re overwhelmed… but still doing everything anyway. Your kids learn to keep going. Don’t ask for help. Power through discomfort.

2. Answering “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not. You are teaching your child to mask your emotions.

3. Needing everything to go “just right” before you can relax, telling them that peace comes after perfection, not before.

4. Reacting sharply to small mistakes (yours or theirs). Messing up = danger. Not being perfect = not being lovable.

5. Overbooking your calendar and calling it “being productive.” They learn that rest = laziness. Doing more = being better.

6. Replaying what went wrong even after a good day. Your brain is never fully safe. There’s always something to worry about.

7. Rushing your child constantly, even when you don’t need to. There’s no space for slowness. Hurry = survival.

8. Avoiding rest unless it’s “earned.” Your child realises that you don’t deserve calm unless you suffer first.

9. Saying yes to things you resent. Your needs don’t matter. People pleasing is the way to be accepted.

10. Celebrating outcomes more than effort: Achievement is everything. Trying isn’t enough.

🧡 So what can you do instead?
Not overhaul your entire life. Not become a perfect parent.
(Continued in comment)

12/19/2025

Here’s the thing no one tells you:
Progress in therapy doesn’t always look like no more anxiety.
It often looks like this:

1️⃣ They start telling you they’re worried instead of melting down over “nothing”.
They’re finding words instead of explosions.
2️⃣ They still get anxious... but recover faster.
It used to ruin the whole day. Now it ruins 10 minutes. That’s growth.
3️⃣ They notice physical clues.
“My tummy feels weird.”
“My heart is going fast.”
That awareness? It’s step one to managing it.
4️⃣ They try the coping skill and roll their eyes while doing it.
Yes, even the eye roll is a win. They remembered. They’re practicing.
5️⃣ You hear them self-talk quietly in the backseat.
“I can do this.”
“It’s just a worry.”
They’re learning to coach themselves.
6️⃣ Their worries shift from catastrophic to more realistic.
It’s not “I’ll die if I go to school.” anymore.
It’s “What if I embarrass myself?”
It’s less extreme. It’s more workable.
7️⃣ They say things like “My therapist said...”
They’re internalizing. Even if they don’t admit it’s helping, they’re carrying the work with them.

✨ Therapy doesn’t make anxiety disappear.
It gives kids the tools to live with it and you the chance to see them use those tools in real life.

And sometimes the smallest, messiest signs mean the biggest shifts are happening.

12/18/2025

As a pediatric psychologist, I see so many well-meaning parents miss these signs. Not because they don’t care but because they seem so normal.

Here’s what to watch for:

1️⃣ Laughing uncontrollably at inappropriate times
Not just being “silly.” It can be a stress release, dysregulated laughter when they can’t handle big emotions.
2️⃣ Constantly interrupting or talking over everyone
Not just “chatty.” It can be impulsivity when their system is on high alert, unable to slow down and listen.
3️⃣ Overly apologizing for small mistakes
Not “polite.” It’s a sign of fear or hypervigilance, always bracing for anger or disappointment.
4️⃣ Refusing even fun new experiences
Not “shy.” Their brain says new = unsafe because it’s overloaded by unpredictability.
5️⃣ Explosive reactions to tiny disappointments
Not “dramatic.” Their tolerance window is gone. Small stressors tip them over.
6️⃣ Extreme perfectionism
Not “driven.” It can be survival: controlling everything they can because their system feels unsafe.
7️⃣ Playing “baby” or regressing in behavior
Not always “seeking attention.” It’s a nervous system reset, retreating to safety and predictability.
8️⃣ Needing constant background noise
Not just “loving music or TV.” Silence feels threatening when their nervous system is used to being on edge.
9️⃣ Avoiding eye contact even when calm
Not always “rude.” A sign their social engagement system is shut down, self-protecting.
🔟 Asking endless questions about routines or rules
Not “being difficult.” Their brain is hunting for safety, needing certainty to relax.

✨ If you see these in your child regularly, it’s not about “bad behavior.”
It’s their nervous system screaming for regulation.

✅ Your calm, consistent, attuned response can help bring them back to safety.
Want to learn practical ways to help your child regulate?

Follow along for more real, parent-friendly strategies.

12/15/2025

12/15/2025

Because your child mirrors your emotional state. They absorb how you handle stress, disappointment, frustration, and even joy. Your reactions become their template for how they’ll react to the world.

By working on your emotional regulation, you break the cycle of yelling, snapping, or shutting down in frustration. This creates a more peaceful home and a stronger connection with your child.

📌 Daily Steps for Emotional Regulation:

1: Morning Check-In (2 mins):
Take a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling before the day starts. Name the emotion and set an intention for how you want to show up as a parent.

2: Deep Breathing (1 min):
Practice deep breathing during stressful moments. A simple 4-4-4-4 breathing method (inhale 4 secs, hold 4 secs, exhale 4 secs, hold 4 secs) can help you pause and reset.

3: Positive Self-Talk (30 secs):
Throughout the day, remind yourself: “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” This helps reduce self-criticism and pressure.

4: Gratitude Pause (1 min):
Take a moment to recognize something you’re grateful for, even in tough moments. Shifting your mindset helps regulate emotions.

5: Walk Away (30 secs - 1 min):
If you feel triggered, it’s okay to take a break. Step away for a minute to cool down, rather than reacting out of frustration.

6: Mindful Connection (5 mins):
Spend 5 distraction-free minutes with your child daily. Listen and engage with them fully, creating an emotional connection.

7: End-of-Day Reflection (2 mins):
Reflect on how you managed your emotions today. What worked? What didn’t? Celebrate small wins and be gentle with yourself.

Want to learn how to stay calm, emotionally connect with your child, and handle challenging parenting moments with confidence? 🎯
Follow for more.

12/13/2025

1: Model Self-Love:
Your child absorbs how you talk about your own body. Avoid negative self-talk like “I need to lose weight” or “I hate how I look in this.” Instead, practice body positivity in front of her—embrace your uniqueness!

2: Celebrate What Bodies Can Do, Not How They Look:
Instead of complimenting looks, celebrate what her body can do. Say things like, “Your legs help you run fast!” or “Look at how strong you are climbing that tree!”

3: Limit Certain Screen Exposure:
Social media and certain TV shows can distort reality and beauty standards. Curate the media she consumes—encourage content that showcases a variety of body types and values inner qualities over appearance.

4: Encourage Physical Activity for Fun, Not Weight Loss:
Frame physical activity as a way to feel good, not as a means to change her body. Help her find activities she enjoys, whether it’s dancing, swimming, or riding a bike.

5: Talk Openly About Media Messages:
Help her deconstruct unrealistic beauty standards by discussing the way bodies are portrayed in the media. Ask her questions like, “Do you think everyone looks like that in real life?” to encourage critical thinking.

6: Stop Engaging in Conversations About Diet Food:
Avoid talking about diet trends, restrictive eating, or labeling foods as “good” or “bad” in front of your child. Instead, focus on balance and nourishment. Teach her that all foods can be enjoyed in moderation and that no food should be off-limits or associated with shame.

12/12/2025

Confidence doesn’t come from trophies or grades. It comes from the little things our kids hear and feel every day.

📌 Here are 7 things you can start saying (or showing) today:

1: “You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”
Because kids often believe love = performance. Break that cycle early.

2: “I like spending time with you.”
Not just “I’m proud of you” but that you enjoy them as they are.

3: “Mistakes are how we learn.”
Say it when they spill milk, mess up homework, or lose a game. Normalize trying again.

4: “You get to choose how you do this.”
Give them small choices: what shirt to wear, which book to read. Autonomy builds confidence.

5: I don’t always know the answer either.”
Show them it’s okay to not have it all figured out, that’s human, not failure.

6: “I see how hard you tried.”
Praise effort, not just outcome. Kids need to know trying matters.

7: “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Let them know you’re on their team. Confidence grows when kids feel supported, not abandoned in the struggle.

The truth?

Most of us wish we had heard these things when we were kids. It’s not too late to give your child the words you didn’t always get. 💛

12/11/2025

Parents think aggression means a child is being “bad.”

But here’s the truth: Aggression isn’t a choice, it’s a nervous system reaction happening faster than their skills can keep up.
Kids don’t hit, kick, bite, or throw because they want to hurt someone.

📣 They do it because in that moment, their body is overwhelmed and they don’t yet have a better way to cope.

Aggression almost always points to missing skills like:
• emotional awareness
• frustration tolerance
• impulse control
• flexible thinking
• communication (“I need help”)
• transition skills
• sensory regulation

This is a skill problem….not a character problem.
What to do in the moment?

Not lecture.
Not “Why would you do that?”
Not consequences while their brain is on fire.

Instead:
• move closer
• soften your voice
• reflect feelings: “This is big. You’re upset.”
• block unsafe behavior with your body, not your words
• model a slower breath

Your calm isn’t passive.
It’s leadership.
The actual teaching happens 24–48 hours later — when the nervous system is calm enough to learn.

That’s when you coach:
• naming feelings
• asking for help
• frustration strategies
• what to do next time

You’re not raising a “violent child.”
You’re raising a child whose nervous system communicates loudly until their skills catch up.

👉 Follow for prevention-first parenting that builds skills and lowers aggression for both of you.

12/09/2025

Phrases used by strong parents raising resilient kids are not just words; they’re powerful tools that shape a child’s emotional strength and well-being.

Here are eight examples of phrases you can use to raise emotionally resilient and confident kids:

1: I believe in you!

2: Let’s figure out what we can do differently next time.

3: You can always talk to me about anything.

4: It’s okay to feel angry/sad sometimes. But it’s not OK to be aggressive.

5: Wow! I am so proud of you.

6: What could help you be more responsible?

7: Why do you think that way? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

8: I’d like to make time to talk with you about [topic]. When would work for you?

9: You’re really important to me, and I love you.

10: I can’t stop thinking about how well you did on [topic]. You’re really good at it.

Follow for more 💙