11/27/2025
Aggression toward a parent isn’t about disrespect or “being bad.” It’s communication … your child’s nervous system saying, “I’m overwhelmed and I don’t have the skills for this moment.” Kids often save their hardest behavior for the parent who feels safest.
Not because they don’t love you but because they trust you to help them through the storm. ♥️ So instead of seeing aggression as defiance, see it as a skill gap you can coach. 📌 Parent Regulation Action Step: Your regulation comes first. A dysregulated child cannot calm with a dysregulated adult in front of them. When you steady your body, you steady theirs. Before you respond, pause and take one slow breath while planting your feet firmly on the ground. Say quietly to yourself: “I can stay calm. This is communication, not danger.”
This 3-second reset tells your brain you’re safe and that helps their brain calm faster. 📌 Child Skill-Building Action Step (with examples):
When your child is calm, try saying: “Sometimes your body gets really big when you’re upset. That tells me you need help calming your body. Let’s practice one thing together for next time.”
👇 Pick ONE of these easy skills:
1: Squeezes – “Pretend you’re squeezing lemons in your hands… hold tight for 3 seconds… then let go.”
2: Pretzel Breathing – “Cross your arms over your chest like a pretzel and take one slow breath in and out.”
3: 10-Second Reset – “Let’s stop, count to ten together, and let our bodies melt like cooked spaghetti.”
4: Step Back to the Calm Space – “Let’s practice walking to your calm spot and taking one breath there.” Small practices build big skills. This is how aggressive moments shift from scary… to coachable. ✅
