11/24/2016
Thanks for nothing.
I have to be honest, I hate hypocrisy even when Im guilty of it myself. In fact that makes it worse. I am not saying that I'm not guilty of it, in some cases I’m worse than most. I know better, I see things from a perspective that I don’t think most people get to. I can actually pull myself out of the drama and look at things from a vantage that allows me to assess things and bring peace even to the most chaotic of situations at least temporarily.
But this year I have really been looking at my life, and where I want to be. Who I want to be. And lets face it, where I am cant be where that is.
My wife and I talk a lot about out kids and their seeming entitlement mentality, we want them to get some perspective on the blessings we have. We want them to be grateful. But why should they be so grateful, when on most days I cant honestly say I even come from that place half of the time.
That made me look at what it is I am asking them to do. I’m not asking them to thankful for the giving. I am asking them to be grateful for the getting. Thanksgiving, is and maybe always was about Thanksgetting.
While I’m sure Im not the first to come to this realization, I don’t think that matters , as much as the fact that I have come to the realization itself. There are billions of blogs and websites, and books, and religious and spiritual teaching that talk about this. But this is my journey and we all come to things in our own time, and blog posts like this one, bring us one step closer to attaining whole wellness where we all meet our true selves.
So what is wrong with “thanks getting”? Is it really that bad to grateful for what we’ve gotten? Is it wrong to want more, so that every proclamation of what we are thankful comes with it the wish for more good in our lives. I think not, I think that, like Deepak Chopra has stated that our ultimate position in the Universe is that of affluence and luxury, is true. That if the universe is infinite and has all the resources inside of it, and I am part of that universe and therefore have access to all the good and material I want, should I choose to collect it. That abundance mentality is a little off topic, but for the purposes here it only speaks that we are entitled to that which we are in alignment with. But there has to be balance, between giving getting and well nothing.
It seems like my kids have everything they materially need, of course I want more for my kids, but what I want is for them more than anything is to be happy. Even in the absence of the material. If there is strife in their life, for them to be happy no matter what life presents them. For them to be grateful and thankful for nothing more than the pleasure of just walking this earth, breathing this air, feeling the breeze, and creating the lives they choose. Im not asking for much right???
But how on earth can I expect them to be this “evolved”, this conscious, if most days I can’t see past my own plight? What kind of example am I setting for them. What kind of behavior do I model for them day after day, as I struggle, the way we all struggle, because lets face it we all struggle.
The short answer is, I have no bleeping idea. I have no clue, I’m not wired that way, I am wired for the struggle to be disheartening, for some reason I see defeats and setbacks to automatically mean doom and devastation. For all defeats to be final. I can’t tell you how often over the past couple of weeks, that because of the stress I have been under where I really have “believed” my life is over. That I will go no further. I’m serious this is how I roll. What hope do my kids have?
And the answer has become apparent to me, as I lift the vail off of what I have deemed “my dark times" I need to get well. I need to be the example my kids need to keep from becoming , well this.
When I was in high school, I played for a coach named Ed Kissell, and Coach Kissell screamed at me, “Shapiro, you may be the stupidest smart person I have ever met.” Finally nearly over 30 years later, I not only understand it, I agree. I have all the knowledge I need to not only undo the physical and mental wreck I carry around every day, I now know why I have jokingly called myself “the unwell guru”
I started this post, with hypocrisy, and what I hate about it, and thankfulness, and what I want for my kids and myself about being thankful. What I have come to believe is I feel the way I do, because I feel like I am only thankful for the getting and I fail on the thankful for the giving, Even though I do give. I don’t think I appreciate the ability to do so. And I have to be thankful for nothing as well, I have to be thankful for things that don’t happen, for moments of empty space, for moments of peace.
Gratitude, is not just something we should express, when we get the big things, it is something we should be in a state of with every breath we take. And even with that breath we give back and create balance in the world. So thank you Lord, Universe, Obama, Trump --whoever, for nothing. Being grateful for nothing is the best most of us will achieve
