02/17/2026
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When Grief Lives in the Body
Grief is often treated as if it is only emotional.
As if it lives only in the heart.
As if it is something we can think our way through.
But grief lives in the body.
It settles into muscles.
It lingers in the nervous system.
It interrupts sleep.
It tightens the chest.
It drains energy.
It exhausts us in ways that are difficult to explain.
The body remembers.
There is something called “muscle memory,” and grief has its own version of it. The body can sense a date approaching before the mind fully recognizes it. An anniversary draws near and suddenly you feel restless. A birthday approaches and your body feels heavier. An Angel Anniversary comes and your breathing changes.
The body remembers love.
Scripture describes this physical weight of sorrow. In Psalm 6:6, David writes, “I am weary with my groaning; all night I flood my bed with tears.” This is not poetic exaggeration. It is embodied grief.
In Lamentations 2:19, we are told to “cry aloud in the night… pour out your heart like water.” That is physical language—crying, pouring, emptying.
And in Job 6:2–3, Job says, “If only my anguish could be weighed… it would surely outweigh the sand of the seas.” That is the language of heaviness. Of burden. Of something that presses down.
The Bible never treats grief as a small or purely emotional event. It acknowledges that sorrow affects the whole person.
Carrying grief is heavy.
And heaviness is exhausting.
That is why grief needs release.
Not dismissal.
Not suppression.
Release.
Release can look like writing until the words empty out.
It can look like worship that trembles.
It can look like lamenting honestly before God.
It can look like prayer whispered through tears.
It can look like walking, running, breathing deeply.
It can look like sitting in stillness and allowing emotion to move through instead of staying trapped inside.
When grief is not given movement, it can become lodged in the body.
Caring for the body is not a lack of faith. It is wisdom.
Hydration matters.
Rest matters.
Nourishment matters.
When we tend to our physical strength, we are not “fixing” grief. We are supporting our capacity to carry it. We are strengthening our nervous system so we can sit in the presence of emotion without becoming overwhelmed.
This is not about “coping skills” in a clinical sense.
It is about stewardship.
It is about honoring that you are embodied.
It is about giving your mind and body the support they need so you have the strength to feel what you feel, say what you need to say, and allow grief to move through you rather than consume you.
Grief truth:
Grief lives in the body, not just the heart.
And because it lives in the body, it requires compassionate care—not pressure, not timelines, not dismissal.
If you are exhausted, that does not mean you are weak.
If your body aches, that does not mean you are stuck.
If certain days feel physically heavier, that does not mean you are regressing.
It means you loved deeply.
And your body is carrying that love.
May you give yourself permission to care for your body as gently as you care for the memory of your child.
Father God,
You see the weariness in our bodies and the weight we carry in our hearts. Strengthen us where we feel weak. Restore our rest, steady our breath, and gently release what feels trapped inside. Thank You that You are near to the brokenhearted and faithful through every wave of sorrow. Fill us with quiet hope and the grace to carry love one day at a time.
Amen.
Dr. Cali
Bereaved Mother
Bereaved Parents Advocate
Grief Educator
Compassionate Friend
