11/30/2025
Horses, Life and Part X: The Universal Mess No One Escapes
If life came with a user guide, it would probably begin with something like: Welcome. At some point, everything will feel a bit rubbish. This is normal.
The documentary Stutz, created by Jonah Hill, explains this perfectly. Therapist Phil Stutz says life always contains what he calls Part X. Pain, uncertainty, effort. A rolling conveyor belt of challenges that arrive whether you feel ready or not.
And here is the uncomfortable truth. You can be the kindest, most patient, most generous person in your postcode and you will still get your fair share of Part X. Being lovely does not grant immunity from reality.
Once you stop fighting that idea and start accepting it, things get lighter. Not magical unicorn-light, but more like carrying a heavy backpack that finally has the straps adjusted properly.
Horses specialise in teaching this lesson. I meet people every week who are locked in a cycle of conflict with their horse. To them, the horse feels like one giant Part X in hooves. A hobby that was meant to bring joy suddenly becomes a source of stress, fear, guilt or frustration.
Often the problem is not the horse. It is the human resisting the discomfort required to help the horse learn.
Many people want their horse to behave like a wise old movie hero who can somehow sense they are kind and therefore stays calm, steady and compliant with no clear communication. They want their horse to understand them while they avoid understanding the horse.
This never works. People grip the reins tighter because it feels safer, not realising it is the very thing worrying the horse. They avoid using pressure clearly because they do not want to feel bossy, even though the horse actually needs clarity to learn. They want the outcome without going through the messy middle.
Their resistance becomes the horse’s stress. The horse reacts. The human reacts to the reaction. Both end up overwhelmed. It is like two people trying to dance while refusing to learn the steps.
The reality is simple. Conflict is normal. Discomfort is normal. Horses did not evolve to carry humans. They need guidance, repetition and clear communication before they can feel confident and safe with us. Learning to navigate the uncomfortable bits is part of the deal.
And this is the quiet gift horses give us. They treat everyone equally. They do not care about your personality, your job, your past or how good your intentions are. They will hand you Part X again and again until you grow the skills to meet life head on.
And even once you do, they still give you the hardest Part X of all. Goodbye.
And somehow, painfully and beautifully, you learn to survive that too.💔
Collectable Advice Entry 90/365. Crafted with care, caffeine and a sense of duty to help you learn something before the scroll elsewhere. Save it. Share it. Send it to someone who needs a nudge. But if you are a creator who enjoys copy and paste more than creative effort, kindly resist.😎
IMAGE📸: Beautiful photography by Lynn Jenkin ❤
