17/10/2024
Hi,
I have seen so many inquiries about the status of our journey and I apologize as I have not had to courage to update this forum.
After multiple unsuccessful IVF cycles, we chose to pursue surrogacy.
Our first surrogate failed because she found herself blessed with her own baby while waiting on medical clearance. We are happy for her fortune.
Our second surrogate was disqualified for medical reasons. We are so grateful for her regardless.
Our third surrogate decided to pursue a divorce while under contract and we felt that this was not a healthy situation so we chose to terminate the contract.
At this point, we chose to pursue the option of adoption. We pursued an organization who excluded us because my partner is human and has an infraction on his record from his past.
So...we pursued fost-to adopt. This was done through our county and we attended all the classes they required and completed all medical exams, vet exams and necessary paperwork. After months of waiting they informed us they were short-staffed and told us to move on to another company.
At this point we pursued a company out of Jackson, California. They use similar software and their management team was sensitive to our plight. They did what was necessary to request an exemption to give us clearance from our past life indiscretions. We have both been diligent in following up on the status. Unfortunately there has not been any follow through on the other end and, after a year of waiting, we still do not have an answer.
This is the reality these days. Children are being removed from households due to unmentionable offenses but the government keeps putting those children back in those same households while they create unrealistic evaluations of foster parents. It is very frustrating.
The summary of my story...we have tried everything to have a child. We have been unsuccessful. I do not have any motivational words to soften the disappointment. Perhaps that is the reason I have been absent from this forum. How do we cope? Well, I spend time with my animals and unfortunately, I avoid anyone with children. Is that a resolution...well, let's ask our medical community. Perhaps infertility should be a covered medical benefit...because I know that after 10 years, a failed marriage and over $100,000 directed towards infertility costs having a family is not an option for me.
I am not someone who gives up easily and we have the option of pursuing an egg donor and s***m donor in order to have a family. However, that's another $40,000 to 60,000. I would give anything to be able to have the opportunity to become a mother (whatever that looks like) but at what point do you draw a line. At what point does your dream become financially impossible?
