Oasis Mind Lab, Saint Petersburg, FL (2025)

08/19/2025

Many of us struggle with motivation.
But here’s the good news—your challenge isn’t really about motivation. It’s about understanding how your brain chemistry drives habits.

Every habit, whether it’s reaching for your phone or going for a run, follows the same loop:
Cue → Routine → Reward.

Each time you complete that loop, your brain releases dopamine, the chemical that makes you feel good and signals, “Yes, let's do that again.” Over time, the loop strengthens and the habit becomes automatic (Wood & Rünger, 2016).

Here’s how that shows up for me:

Hot yoga → The reward isn’t only about finishing class, it’s the sweaty, euphoric feeling afterward. Exercise naturally boosts dopamine and endorphins, leaving me calmer and more energized.

Studying→ Sitting down with word open and reading the same dissertation over and over gets boring, but I’ve learned to link it with progress. Each revision brings me closer to my graduation goal, and momentum sparks its own dopamine hit (Schultz, 2015).

You don’t necessarily need more willpower, but instead, you need systems and routines that play nice with your brain. Motivation comes and goes, but habits tied to natural rewards last. And your environment plays a big role: is your environment helping your habit or making it harder? For example, having my yoga mat by the door and a dedicated study spot makes it easier for my brain to “cue” into the habit.

🔥 How to Get Addicted to Good Habits
1️⃣ Pair habits with dopamine triggers → like music, coffee, or small celebrations.
2️⃣ Start small & stay consistent → tiny wins compound quickly and really adds up (Lally et al., 2010).
3️⃣ Celebrate progress, not perfection → your brain learns to crave the feeling of moving forward.
4️⃣ Design your environment → make good habits obvious and friction-free, and make unhelpful habits harder to access.

🌱 The real question isn’t “How do I force myself to do this?”
It’s “How can I design this habit, and my environment, so my brain really wants to?"

If you’d like support in building habits that align with your goals, I'm currently working on getting my boards and offering free coaching hours! Link in bio.

08/07/2025

At some point in life, many of us outgrow who we used to be. 🌿 Maybe who you were isn’t who you are anymore, and that’s okay. Letting go of an old identity isn’t losing yourself. It’s how you make space for healing and growth.

The roles we take on, the fixer, the high-achiever, the extremist, the sensitive one, the one who never finishes things, often form as survival strategies. 🌀 When we experience trauma, whether acute, chronic, or complex, our nervous system and psyche adapt to help us stay safe, connected, and in control.These identities once helped us navigate chaos, earn love, or avoid rejection.

🦈 The Shark in the Tank (and the Identity You’ve Outgrown)
Some sharks kept in small tanks don’t grow to their full size, not because they aren’t capable, but because the environment limits them. In the wild, with space and freedom, they can grow several feet long.

Identity works the same way 🫆
When you keep yourself inside the walls of an old story, like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up” or "I'll always fail" it shrinks your sense of what’s possible. Even if you have the potential to grow, evolve, or lead, you’ll stay stuck if you keep living inside an identity that no longer fits. You’re not limited by your potential, you’re limited by the identity you’re still living in.

According to Identity Theory (Stryker & Burke, 2000), we behave in ways that align with our self-concept, the roles and labels we believe are true about us. So when we change our identity, our habits and choices often shift too. People who feel clear about who they are, even if that identity is changing, report more resilience, emotional stability, and confidence (Schwartz et al., 2011). This is also tied to psychological flexibility, which research shows is a key part of well-being and growth (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010). When you’re open to reimagining who you are, you adapt better to life and reconnect with your values.

Heres an affirmation to help the shift:
I'm letting go of ___, I'm ____ now, I'm becoming.....

07/21/2025

💭 “If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.” — Brené Brown

To this day, Brené is still one of my favorite authors. She studies vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage in motion.

We don’t all start from the same place, carry the same wounds, or fight the same battles. Some of us are still healing from things we’ve never shared out loud. Others are now finding the courage to step into the arena of life, love, or work; scared, but still showing up.

This post? It’s for the creators, the dreamers, the sensitive, the bold, the ones wanting to build something real.

And here’s the thing no one really talks about:
Sometimes, what’s actually holding you back from your dream vision isn’t time, money, or lack of clarity.
It’s fear of being judged.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of putting yourself out there and hearing the wrong voices echo back.

The hardest part?
You might not even realize it.
That fear hides behind “not ready,” overthinking, procrastination, or endlessly tweaking things that are already good enough.

Before you let someone’s criticism hold you back, ask yourself:

🌿 Do they know what I’ve been through?
🌿 Are they even trying to build anything themselves?
🌿 Have they walked through fire like I have?
🌿 Or are they sitting in the stands, comfortable and silent?

Yes, real growth needs feedback, but not from everyone.
Discernment is self-protection.

So post the art.
Launch the book.
Create the thing.
Even if it’s imperfect.

And save your energy for those who fight with you; not against you.

07/09/2025

A client recently asked me, “Why do I feel angry or uncomfortable when someone shares their wins? It’s like I can’t be happy for others unless I’m winning too.”

It got me thinking about how comparison can often be the thief of joy and many people are stuck in that state.

It’s easy to feel grateful for the little things, a warm coffee, a sunny walk, a personal breakthrough in coaching or therapy.
But what about feeling grateful for someone else’s joy?

Their success? Their glow-up?

In coaching and positive psychology, we know that genuine gratitude for others even when we’re struggling can actually boost our own well-being, not just theirs. There's a term in yoga called mudita, joy for someone else's happiness.

You don’t have to be envious to want good things for yourself.
Their joy doesn’t mean there’s less available for you.
In fact, when you choose to be happy for someone else, you’re sending a powerful message to your nervous system:

😁There’s enough joy, success, and love to go around.
That’s not only a spiritual idea, it’s grounded in psychology.

Research shows that practicing gratitude for others rewires comparison habits, increases emotional resilience, and improves your own well-being.

Try this:
• When someone shares good news, pause. Breathe. Let yourself really feel happy for them.
• Say out loud (or in your mind): “I’m truly happy for you.” Even if part of you feels envious — both feelings can exist.

• Keep a journal and identify what is that you are comparing in others and if its something you long for in yourself. If it is, create action steps to attain that goal.

This practice can soften your nervous system and expand your capacity for connection, joy, and compassion.

07/01/2025

During coaching, we create a safe space to explore how past experiences have shaped your beliefs, habits, and emotions. Instead of pushing for quick fixes, the process is paced with care and respect for your nervous system. We'll work together to

establish safety and trust
define clear boundaries, agreements, and practices that help you feel secure and respected.

build awareness
gently explore patterns and responses rooted in past experiences without judgment or pressure.

develop self-regulation skills
learn practical tools to calm stress, manage triggers, and stay present when big emotions arise.

clarify values and goals
reconnect with what matters to you today and set goals that align with your strengths and aspirations.

practice new strategies
experiment with healthier ways of thinking, relating, and taking action in your life and work.

integrate and reflect
review progress, celebrate growth, and adjust your approach as you continue healing.

"Trauma-informed coaching is a way of understanding the presence of past trauma and using the client’s resiliency to guide them toward solution-focused growth." — Butler University

book a free intro call today to see if this approach feels right for you.

06/30/2025

🌿 Feeling the Monday Blues? You’re Not Alone.

Does anyone else feel that tension in your chest when you know there’s something you’ve been putting off… but you can’t bring yourself to start? 🌀

This week, give yourself permission to take one small, compassionate step forward. Whether it’s sending that email, tidying your space, or setting a 10-minute timer to get started, you deserve to feel more at ease.

To help you shift out of stuck mode, I created this FREE Anti-Procrastination Strategy Worksheet.
✔️ Break your task into small steps
✔️ Identify your distractions
✔️ Find rewards to motivate yourself
✔️ Create a gentle action plan you can follow

💌 Download via the link in my bio.

📝 Reflection Question:
What’s one thing you can do today to make starting easier?

06/16/2025

Feeling unproductive doesn’t always mean you’re not doing enough.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, try this instead:
Write a done list: even if it’s “got out of bed” or “answered one message.”
Small actions matter. They are often where healing begins.

Why a Done List Helps with Overwhelm and Burnout

Shifts focus from pressure to progress
Burnout often shows up in environments where you're constantly striving. A to-do list highlights what has not been completed, which can feed guilt, shame, and the feeling that you are not doing enough.
A done list shifts the focus. It reminds your brain that you are making progress.

Activates the reward system in your brain
When you acknowledge what you have accomplished, it stimulates dopamine, which is the brain's motivation and reward chemical. This boosts your sense of achievement, even from small wins.

Calms the nervous system
Burnout can keep the body stuck in fight or flight. A done list helps bring you back to the present and slow the spiral of stress. It grounds you in reality and allows you to realize that you are, in fact, getting things done.

Builds self-compassion and momentum
Recognizing your effort, especially when you're exhausted or in recovery, creates a more gentle and realistic mindset.
It is a way of saying, "Look at what I have already held today. That matters."

06/10/2025

Neuroplasticity in action! Every step you work on today rewires your brain for a better tomorrow. Future you is throwing a dopamine party for every habit and goal you're building!

Your prefrontal cortex loves when you plan, take action, and align with your goals so give it something to celebrate today.

Start now. Stay consistent. Thank yourself later. 😄

📥 Download a free smart goal-setting PDF to kickstart your momentum — link in bio!

06/09/2025

Three years ago today, I started my PhD.

Time really flies.

Have you ever felt your heart pulling you toward something you couldn’t fully explain

Like a quiet nudge that made no logical sense but you followed it anyway?

That was me.

I stepped into a commitment with no real guarantee I’d finish, but I trusted the pull. Trusted that if I were able to finish, I would be able to keep this accomplishment for the rest of my life.

And now, looking back, I see how all the pieces were always leading me here.

Like maybe this is where I was meant to be all along.

During these past three years, I’ve let go of a serious relationship, spent most of my time by myself, learning who I really am, moved to a new area after a flood, walked away from a 13-year work relationship and started building new streams of income from the ground up as an entrepreneur. Grew and changed.

And still, I’m here.

Still writing.

Still showing up.

Still believing in the vision that pulled me in from the very beginning.

My PhD has been my anchor through it all

a constant thread of purpose while everything else around me changed.

---

Here’s to trusting the process, honoring the progress, and not giving up on the dreams that ask everything of you because they also give everything back.

Your dreams chose you for a reason.

They’re not random.

They’re rooted in your heart for a purpose.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need to trust that taking one step will lead to the next.

Even if the timing isn’t perfect.

Even if no one else understands.

and praying that I finish my dissertation this year!

06/05/2025

Starting a business isn't only about branding and strategy, it’s about how your mind and nervous system feel in the process. 🧠🌿

If you've been stuck in overthinking, imposter sydrome, or fear of failing… this post is for you.

Swipe through for psychology-backed tips to help you:
✔️ Regulate your nervous system
✔️ Take aligned, gentle action
✔️ Build a business that fits you

You don’t have to hustle your way into success, you can build with flow, clarity, and care.
Small, Sustainable Steps = Real Momentum

🌀 1:1 Coaching is open now.
Let’s co-create your business blueprint.

06/03/2025

Creative blocks aren’t laziness. They’re often a nervous system or focus issue. Flow is a state, not a mood, and you can get back into it with the right tools. These 6 psychology-backed practices will help you reconnect with your flow, especially during slow, stuck, or stressed-out moments. 🎨🧠🌿

Save this post for your next creative block, and share it with a fellow artist, writer, or maker who needs a reset.

04/14/2025

Ever wonder why you feel your best when you’re fully in the moment?

It’s not magic! It’s backed by science.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi spent decades studying what he called Flow State — the mental space where time disappears, creativity unfolds naturally, and happiness skyrockets.

Research shows flow increases:
✔️ Focus
✔️ Well-being
✔️ Creativity
✔️ Even peak s*xual experiences

(Yes, really.)

Flow is about designing a life that supports presence, connection, and feeling fully alive.

In my latest blog post, I break down:
→ What flow psychology actually is
→ How it shows up in work, sports, creativity, and s*x
→ How to create more of it in your life

Check it out at the link in my bio — and start creating a life & business that flows.

Oasis Mind Lab

08/19/2025

08/07/2025

07/21/2025

07/09/2025

07/01/2025

06/30/2025

06/16/2025

06/10/2025

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04/14/2025

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