09/27/2025
From my wife, Becki:
Jay recently shared his perspective on my health journey—what it was like to watch me suffer physically. (You can read part 1) But I want to share my perspective too—as a Christian woman who’s lived with chronic illness for many years.
I’ve lived more than 40 years with undiagnosed Lyme disease, which I contracted from a tick bite during a first-grade field trip in CO. It wasn’t until my late twenties, after our first three children were born, that I truly began to feel its weight.
At that time, Jay was serving in the Army, and we were far from family support. I faced days of preterm labor, overwhelming fatigue, and a deep postpartum depression. Jay was deployed to Iraq during this difficult period.
He was a new doctor, often working more than 140 hours a week. I’d pack the kids into the car just to share a meal with him in the hospital cafeteria.
I struggled with feelings of inadequacy—thinking maybe I lacked enough faith, or that I was being disciplined. I was short-tempered with the kids, irritable with Jay, and longing for answers. I wanted rest, and I fought to find it—reading, researching nutrition, praying. I held onto the belief that God was with me, providing just enough strength for each day.
Unbeknownst to me, we had been living in military housing filled with mold and asbestos, which was torn down a year after we moved. I had no idea what it was doing to my body.
I kept telling myself I needed to fix myself, trying everything- counseling, medication, devotionals, endless effort. It became a cycle of striving and feeling defeated. I often asked, 'Where is God in all this?’
Looking back, I know those early years of motherhood were incredibly tough. I poured my heart into raising our children—building forts, crafting, celebrating birthdays, exploring outdoors. I did everything with gusto because inside, I felt so small, so broken.
Yet, even in the midst of it all, I felt the Lord’s nearness. He whispered truths during quiet moments before bed, in worship songs that comforted me during late nights rocking babies to sleep, and in the stillness when Jay was on call and I was barely holding on.
I kept praying for healing. Jay carried so much-serving us through long work hours, praying for me, reminding me the Lord was near.
I lived like this for over 20 years. Doctors convincing me my labs were fine, that I was just anxious and needed meds. But in the 2020s, something shifted. We found a church that taught the Word-and our dry, weary family found life again. Jay began to question his allopathic training. God led him to functional
medicine colleagues, books, and new understanding.
We finally found the truth: Lyme. Mold. A plan to heal—not just my body, but our home and our hearts. God held us steady. Even when I couldn't feel it. Through desert years, the Lord was leading us to a place of healing and hope. He shaped Jay into a physician who listens and believes. And I can now look back and say-we were never alone. He heard our prayers. He carried us. I'm on a plan to recovering, and feeling more and more strength and restoration. He is so good!
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18
